Apartment hunting rant

[Losty]

It's been nearly six years since my ex threw me out - been renting a room ever since (excluding a brief period of homelessness), and I figure it's about time for me to find my own place.

My must-have requirements are pretty light - I want to be close enough to work in the downtown so that I can take mass transit (or alternatively, at least close enough so that I no longer have to cross the Columbia river with the freeway nightmare that entails), I need a place to park my car, and it's gotta have a dishwasher. Washer/dryer hookup would be nice, onsite coin-op or nearby laundromat is acceptable. Other than that, it's just got to be in a reasonably safe part of town.

Easy, right?

Wrong.

OK, I haven't officially rented in nearly 20 years. Things haven't changed that much, right?

Wrong.

Advertisements lie. (OK, so that hasn't changed).

A hint to advertisers and property managers:

* A 30-60 mile commute to downtown is not "close-in". Nor is it "close to everything". I think it could more accurately be described as "way the fuck out" and "not anywhere near anything, ever".

* A 300 square foot studio for $900 "near" one of the more desirable areas (The Pearl), but actually in one of the least desirable areas (Old Town) is not a "great deal". It's more like prison rape than a good deal.

* The junkyard district is not a "great area".

At this rate, it's going to be weeks before I even find something I want to look at.

Advice from someone who spent 1.5 years moving 17 times. Go to the areas you're interested in living in and look for "For Rent" signs. Write down the numbers. Go home and call each of them asking your important questions. Based on your answers either mark it off your list or ask for an appointment to view the unit.
Don't bother looking up ads online. It will take you months to even find any places you're interested in.

[Jackalope]

It's been nearly six years since my ex threw me out - been renting a room ever since (excluding a brief period of homelessness), and I figure it's about time for me to find my own place.

You could try extending your search to the MAX-served metro area (assuming you haven't already, but you probably have so I'll just shut up...)

I haven't, not yet. I kind of want to live close-in on the east side and be able to walk damn near anywhere if I can.

Bloody hell, if I see another "Conveniently Located in Gresham!" ad, I'm gonna hurl. Sorry, Gresham is conveniently located for people who want to do things *in* Gresham, which is exactly nobody.

[Jackalope]

Sheesh! 900 would get you a 3 bedroom 2 bath house with washer/dryer (machines not hookups) in a nice neighborhood here. Hope you find what you are seeking.

As another poster said, Portland - while having the least expensive housing in any major west-coast city - is expensive. In some "trendy" areas, $900 won't get you a cardboard box behind the dumpster. OK, that's an exaggeration, but just out of curiosity, I did a search on craigslist for apartments (Multnomah Co, 2+ BR, 1+ BA, 900 or under). What you get is a) places way out of the city, b) places not even *in* the county, and c) shitty places rejected by meth addicts.

Same criteria in Clark County (adjacent, across the river in Washington), and there's plenty of places you'd actually want to live - but the tradeoff is rage-inducing traffic and lousy-to-nonexistent public transit.

[Losty]

$900 for right in the center of downtown where I live.

House
2000-3000 square ft.
3-4 bedrooms
2 bathrooms
Connected 2 car garage
Fenced in back yard (nice tall wooden fence)
Washer/dryer
Security system
Yard maintenance


Hehe they don't even have apartments here for $900 the really nice gated ones with security officers and marble counter tops and dog parks and pools and gyms are like $750

I thought about moving to the west coast once. When I saw the housing cost I changed my mind.

[Clueless Morgan]

You could try extending your search to the MAX-served metro area (assuming you haven't already, but you probably have so I'll just shut up...)

I haven't, not yet. I kind of want to live close-in on the east side and be able to walk damn near anywhere if I can.

And you want to pay $900?

Better start stocking up on refrigerator boxes and scoping out the ritzy overpasses.... I could point you in the direction of some excellent waterfront locations.

Bloody hell, if I see another "Conveniently Located in Gresham!" ad, I'm gonna hurl. Sorry, Gresham is conveniently located for people who want to do things *in* Gresham, which is exactly nobody.

I take the MAX in to Portland, but that's because I don't tend to go into the city for many events, besides working.

What really cheeses me off is that the MAX is priced perfectly so that whether I pay for gas for my car, or pay for MAX tickets 5-days a week I basically break even, so I might as well pay for the gas and have a 25 minute commute then have to bike to the MAX station, get a train into downtown for 25 minutes and then bike to my office next to OMSI - which takes 45 minutes.

Price the MAX better and I'd eat the commute time to save the money.

$900 for right in the center of downtown where I live.

House
2000-3000 square ft.
3-4 bedrooms
2 bathrooms
Connected 2 car garage
Fenced in back yard (nice tall wooden fence)
Washer/dryer
Security system
Yard maintenance

Suu-UU-uure, rub it in.... :p

[Jackalope]

$900 for right in the center of downtown where I live.

House
2000-3000 square ft.
3-4 bedrooms
2 bathrooms
Connected 2 car garage
Fenced in back yard (nice tall wooden fence)
Washer/dryer
Security system
Yard maintenance


Hehe they don't even have apartments here for $900 the really nice gated ones with security officers and marble counter tops and dog parks and pools and gyms are like $750

I thought about moving to the west coast once. When I saw the housing cost I changed my mind.

Don't you live in a small town, Losty? Apples and oranges. You can get a nice place on the west coast for not a lot of money - what you can't do is get a nice place, in a decent neighborhood on the west coast *in a major city* for not a lot of money.

As I understand it, this is a thing on the eastern seaboard, as well.

[ManMachine]

It's been nearly six years since my ex threw me out - been renting a room ever since (excluding a brief period of homelessness), and I figure it's about time for me to find my own place.

My must-have requirements are pretty light - I want to be close enough to work in the downtown so that I can take mass transit (or alternatively, at least close enough so that I no longer have to cross the Columbia river with the freeway nightmare that entails), I need a place to park my car, and it's gotta have a dishwasher. Washer/dryer hookup would be nice, onsite coin-op or nearby laundromat is acceptable. Other than that, it's just got to be in a reasonably safe part of town.

Easy, right?

Wrong.

OK, I haven't officially rented in nearly 20 years. Things haven't changed that much, right?

Wrong.

Advertisements lie. (OK, so that hasn't changed).

A hint to advertisers and property managers:

* A 30-60 mile commute to downtown is not "close-in". Nor is it "close to everything". I think it could more accurately be described as "way the fuck out" and "not anywhere near anything, ever".

* A 300 square foot studio for $900 "near" one of the more desirable areas (The Pearl), but actually in one of the least desirable areas (Old Town) is not a "great deal". It's more like prison rape than a good deal.

* The junkyard district is not a "great area".

At this rate, it's going to be weeks before I even find something I want to look at.

It could be worse, you could live in France.

MM

[Jackalope]

I haven't, not yet. I kind of want to live close-in on the east side and be able to walk damn near anywhere if I can.

And you want to pay $900?

No. The $900 example was just an absurd example of what a 300 sqft studio goes for just outside the (very nice) Pearl district in the (very shitty) Old Town area. (The place in question is near NW Everett and Broadway, smack dab in the middle of homeless central).

Better start stocking up on refrigerator boxes and scoping out the ritzy overpasses.... I could point you in the direction of some excellent waterfront locations.

Oh, stahp.

Bloody hell, if I see another "Conveniently Located in Gresham!" ad, I'm gonna hurl. Sorry, Gresham is conveniently located for people who want to do things *in* Gresham, which is exactly nobody.

I take the MAX in to Portland, but that's because I don't tend to go into the city for many events, besides working.

What really cheeses me off is that the MAX is priced perfectly so that whether I pay for gas for my car, or pay for MAX tickets 5-days a week I basically break even, so I might as well pay for the gas and have a 25 minute commute then have to bike to the MAX station, get a train into downtown for 25 minutes and then bike to my office next to OMSI - which takes 45 minutes.

Ah, you don't have to pay for parking. I have been staying at a friend's place during the week (Buckmann neighborhood, close-in SE, 10 minute bus ride from work). I started doing that because parking is $12 a day, or $180 to "how much you got" for monthly parking. I went through about a tank of gas a week as well, most of it burned up while crawling at 5mph on Interstate 5 in rush hour.

I get a free transit pass from work.

Easy choice - but transit is a non-starter coming from Vancouver. Cheap rent, but did you ever wonder what happened to all of the conservative non-progressive luddites in Portland? Answer: They all moved to Vancouver. Transit up here is a joke. I've tried to figure out every combination of driving to catch the Max train, walking to the bus, etc from where I live now, and there's just no way to do it that doesn't result in a ridiculous commute time for the distance, or a walk that I just can't count on being able to do twice a day every day. Shame, because there's a yellow/green line stop literally right in front of my office.

[Losty]

Don't you live in a small town, Losty? Apples and oranges. You can get a nice place on the west coast for not a lot of money - what you can't do is get a nice place, in a decent neighborhood on the west coast *in a major city* for not a lot of money.

As I understand it, this is a thing on the eastern seaboard, as well.

Baha I searched the nearest "city" on craigslist. There is no "down town" where I live lol. I mean I guess there is, but it hardly counts.

[popeyespappy]

You are a software guy aren't you CD? If so there are plenty of jobs for people like you in Huntsville. You could get a really nice apartment for $750 and cut your commute time to 10 minutes. Of course you'd have to shoot the duck and adopt either an elephant or a war eagle, but that's the price you pay for a better QOL.