Help, I need someone to talk to

[genkaus]

Not really. Btw I'm pretending to be Hindu, which is somewhat harder ( in my opinion) due to the need to memorize lots of prayers and remember a ton of various Hundu customs.

Really? I've always thought that the good thing about Hinduism is how you can get away with doing so little a still cal yourself a Hindu.

[onebluethinker]

Not really. Btw I'm pretending to be Hindu, which is somewhat harder ( in my opinion) due to the need to memorize lots of prayers and remember a ton of various Hundu customs.

Really? I've always thought that the good thing about Hinduism is how you can get away with doing so little a still cal yourself a Hindu.

That's also true. However there are all these superstitious customs such as not stepping on books and stepping out the door with your right foot first and saying "I will go and come back" whenever you leave the house, and I'm not sure if it was just my parents that had them or what.

[genkaus]

That's also true. However there are all these superstitious customs such as not stepping on books and stepping out the door with your right foot first and saying "I will go and come back" whenever you leave the house, and I'm not sure if it was just my parents that had them or what.

The stepping on books part is real enough, but it is more of a cultural thing than a rigorous religious tenet. Within a cultural context, your head is considered "higher" or "pure" because that is where your knowledge and ideas lie. Your feet are considered "lower" or "impure" because you walk around and track dirt with it. So, touching something with your forehead is regarded as a sign of respect and touching it with your feet is regarded as a sign of derision. Its a harmless cultural courtesy that finds expression in many different ways: pay respect to elders by touching their feet, wish someone well by touching their forehead, apologize if you accidentally step on someone, remove footwear before entering a house or a place of worship and, yes, don't step on books because they represent knowledge and knowledge should be revered.

The other two, I've never heard of.

In relation to your problem, if you can show your mother that despite your beliefs you can still uphold certain values of your cultural heritage - the ones that make sense to you, anyway - then I believe she would be more accepting of your atheism.

[onebluethinker]

That's also true. However there are all these superstitious customs such as not stepping on books and stepping out the door with your right foot first and saying "I will go and come back" whenever you leave the house, and I'm not sure if it was just my parents that had them or what.

The stepping on books part is real enough, but it is more of a cultural thing than a rigorous religious tenet. Within a cultural context, your head is considered "higher" or "pure" because that is where your knowledge and ideas lie. Your feet are considered "lower" or "impure" because you walk around and track dirt with it. So, touching something with your forehead is regarded as a sign of respect and touching it with your feet is regarded as a sign of derision. Its a harmless cultural courtesy that finds expression in many different ways: pay respect to elders by touching their feet, wish someone well by touching their forehead, apologize if you accidentally step on someone, remove footwear before entering a house or a place of worship and, yes, don't step on books because they represent knowledge and knowledge should be revered.

The other two, I've never heard of.

In relation to your problem, if you can show your mother that despite your beliefs you can still uphold certain values of your cultural heritage - the ones that make sense to you, anyway - then I believe she would be more accepting of your atheism.

Thanks for the advice. I'd also been thinking along those lines - I by no means want to rebel against being from a Hindu family or anything ridiculous like that.

[MusicLovingAtheist]

It took me some years of arguing with my parents before they came around. At first I would start arguments with them about religion and they would get so mad and just tell me they don't want to hear it. Eventually my dad came around and told me he didn't really believe in god or religion either. Eventually it got to the point where I could just talk about it calmly with my mom and she said that she was an agnostic. My parents are very smart, successful, liberal people though. I dunno how it might work trying to do what I did with obstinate, stubborn parents. I know some parents just throw their kid out of the house. You can't be wimpy about it though. You have to let people know that it's what you truly think and not waver if you truly want to get people to think that you're serious. It might be a good idea to just not bring it up again if they don't want to talk about it though. I remember when I was really young (like 15 or 16) I would just start confrontations with my parents over religion for no reason and I know that it made them way more pissed off than they needed to be.

[TaraJo]

I don't really feel the need to tell anyone I'm atheist, at least not most of the time. If someone starts telling me all about Jesus then, yeah, I'll call them on it. But with atheism being a statement of non-belief instead of a statement of belief, I just call out bullshit, religious or otherwise, as it comes up and let everyone attach whatever labels they want to me.

[TheGamingAtheist]

I need some help. I'm having a moral crisis right now. Please hear me out, even though it's long.

I recently came out to my mother after almost a year of keeping the secret, hoping that they wouldn't hit me or disown me like they did in my nightmares. And then my mother laughed in my face. Well, figuratively.

She rambled for a few minutes about believing without proof, told me I was still young, that she didn't believe me, and that if someone told me to pray then I would have to. She told me that if I was serious in 5 years, maybe she would "think about it". Then, as my rage began building up, she smiled.

"Don't worry about it." she said.

Being shy, self-conscious me, I was crushed, but I had very low self-esteem and assumed my mother was correct. I watched the calendar for July 2nd, 2019 and went back to my life. But then I wondered if maybe I was right. And then I started to get mad.

I'm pretty sure she didn't even tell my dad. She must have assumed it was "just a phase."

I have never been more serious about anything in my life. Before I came out I was scared, I thought my life would change, I was going into depression and wishing I wasn't an atheist. By the time I built up the courage to come out I was really hopeful that I wouldn't have to hide anymore. Maybe I could even tell my two atheist friends, and we could talk about it. And then... well, my mom crushed my hopes.

What do I do? I really want to confront her but I'm scared the real her will come out and she'll yell at me, hate me, make all my friends and everyone I know hate me too.

I love her. She always told me she would always love me, but now my anxious brain is wondering if that's really true. I would love it if my whole family was atheist, but that can't happen. At least I want her to know I'm serious, even though I'm "only" in high school...

Please help me. I really hope that people on this forum are as nice, helpful, and understanding as they seem. I'm feeling really alone right now.

Coming out as an atheist isn't something you HAVE to do. By the sounds of it, you're still very dependent on your mother, or parents, and will continue to need their support and finances in life. When you're more of an adult and have a work ethic with a full time job that you can support yourself with then maybe that's the best time. Don't give her the upper hand. If you're in her house though, it's her rules.