Help, I need someone to talk to

[pocaracas]

ok, first things first.
How old are you?
I'm guessing young enough to be in mamma's home. Take your mum's advice and don't make waves.... don't worry about it. Let it be. Let your parents think what they want to think... but, from now on, you may find yourself away from certain people and close to others who "will bring you back into the faith", with a mum pulling the strings.

Second, where are you?
US bible belt? Norway? India? Argentina?

You have an atheist friend... a female friend... .... I guess you can tell her about your lack of faith in your old religion, even after telling her about it, as if it was your current one. She should understand your requirement for concealment of the lack of religiosity. If she doesn't, then she's stupid.
Yes, there are stupid atheists! There are idiot atheists! There are screwed up atheists! There are psychotic atheists.
But, considering her interest in your old religion, I'd say she's got a few marbles in her head.

Understandably I don't want to put a big list of personal info on the web but I will tell you this: I'm in high school but very young for my grade. I live in the US but outside the Bible Belt. I deconverted from a minority religion.

Yeah, that's good enough.

I'm from Europe, Portugal, Lisbon. Around here, most people are completely relaxed about religion. Whoever wants to do religion does it, who doesn't want to do it, doesn't do it. We're all friends at the end of the day.

It would do some good to a lot of US citizens to spend some time in a different culture, like the one found in most of Western Europe.

Minority religion... dare I guess.... mormon?

I doubt my mother will seriously think about reconverting me since she never believed me in the first place, but thanks for the heads up.

You're the person who's been with her for all your life... not me. You should be able to tell those things better than anyone.
Then again, some people can surprise you after decades of knowing them and living with them... you never know.

I'm not very good at expressing myself so I can't exactly blame you for your judgements about my friend; but I will tell you this: she's perfectly sane, a very tolerant atheist, and she was just expressing a natural curiosity in foreign customs and stuff like that. Also why the wink?

Ah, the wink... I like to wink.
In portuguese, every noun has a gender. So when you say the portuguese word for "friend", it already carries the gender of the friend and you don't need to specify "female friend".
Here's how it is:
male friend: amigo (you've probably heard this through mexican-spanish)
female friend: amiga

The friend: o amigo / a amiga

The friends: os amigos / as amigas

It's one of those language quirks that make people from the north of Europe sound retarded for not grasping, even after living in here for years!

Then you have the polish which make everyone sound retarded for not getting their declinations.... :-s

I don't know if anyone is still reading this, but thanks everyone for your advice about telling atheist friends. Question: What about Christian friends? I have a vey close friend who is Christian, and I'm pretty sure she'd be supportive because she also happens to be friends with one of my atheist friends. Any advice? I'm feeling better already

Does she know that the other atheist friend is an atheist?
If she's ok with the other, why would she have a problem with you?

[Losty]

Poca lol the male/female friend thing sigh. Americans sometimes struggle with it.

My favorite time, I took a friend to take the citizenship test. I was on the phone with her dad trying to figure out where we were supposed to go. And this guy walks up to me shouting very slowly "a-mi-go a-mi-go, no talko en tel-e-fo-no"
Baha. Funniest thing of my life: his face when I said "I'm not deaf, but I have no clue what you just said"

[ShaMan]

Are you blonde?

[Losty]

Are you blonde?

Who me? If you meant me then no. My hair is brown. Though I have some blonde highlights that haven't faded out.

[pocaracas]

Poca lol the male/female friend thing sigh. Americans sometimes struggle with it.

My favorite time, I took a friend to take the citizenship test. I was on the phone with her dad trying to figure out where we were supposed to go. And this guy walks up to me shouting very slowly "a-mi-go a-mi-go, no talko en tel-e-fo-no"
Baha. Funniest thing of my life: his face when I said "I'm not deaf, but I have no clue what you just said"

I think he meant you (why did he think you were male?) should not put talcum powder on your phone

[onebluethinker]

Minority religion... dare I guess.... Mormon?

Nope, Hinduism.

I don't know if anyone is still reading this, but thanks everyone for your advice about telling atheist friends. Question: What about Christian friends? I have a vey close friend who is Christian, and I'm pretty sure she'd be supportive because she also happens to be friends with one of my atheist friends. Any advice? I'm feeling better already

Does she know that the other atheist friend is an atheist?
If she's ok with the other, why would she have a problem with you?

First question: Yes.
Second question: She wouldn't, but I'm slightly unstable right now and need third person reassurance.

---

Well I'll try really hard to tell my Christian friend first and then tell my atheist friend when I get to know her a little better. I'll post how that goes. Wow being on here is really inspiring. Same thing with blah therapy. I talked to people on there and that gave me the courage to come out to my mom.

[ignoramus]

My motto on telling others...

Don't bring it up. If it comes up - be honest.

I'm a lot more diplomatic!
Do what's best for you! Bullshit until the cows come home if it helps you in the long run.
Always tell idiots what they went to hear, especially when they support you!

I say fuck'em all! If the bastards are prepared to put their imaginary skydaddy before their own children, then they really are theological zombies. Treat them as such. They don't even deserve your honesty! Bullshit all the way until you gain independence, and then and only then you can tell them to blow our man Jebus out their buttholes!

Sorry, but I have zero respect for brain dead zombies...
Be cool!

[onebluethinker]

This is honestly one of the best days of my life. I poured my heart out to an atheist girl I barely know, and she's like the nicest person ever. I decided not to confront my mom until later like she wanted, or maybe when it comes time to fill out the census. Is that a good idea? Thanks everyone for talking some sense into insecure me.

[XK9_Knight]

This may not be much in the way of advice, but it's at least some encouragement.

This is perhaps the best time in your life because it sets you up for who you’ll be later. Don’t worry about your parents, don’t worry about ridicule, and don’t worry about your friends. How you handle what life throws at you determines how you’re character will grow. You’re brilliant, you’re modest, you’re thoughtful. You’re a natural learning, an enquirer, a visionary, step into it.

Don’t tell me you have low self esteem, you’re brilliant, I know it.

[robvalue]

Hi there onebluethinker, I'm really sorry to hear what you have gone through. I was lucky enough to have not been raised by a religious family, so I can't imagine what it must be like to have to deal with this.

I think everyone has given good advice. Clearly you have made your own decision, and it is probably a case of making things easy on yourself while you live with your parents. Keep all the discussion about it with your atheist friends, or at least people who actually want to have a sensible discussion about it. I know from experience that if you try to debate religion with a religious person, you never get anywhere. It makes it all the more difficult when this is someone you care about like your mother. So it's probably best to let things be between you unless she comes to you about it and actually wants to talk properly without just telling you that you are wrong. (Which you are not! Welcome to the land of reason )

I'm glad to hear that you have a great friend who understands you, that is the most wonderful thing. I've always thought it is better to have a small number of friends who you can really talk to than a large number of those you can't.

You've made a really difficult step that most people are not strong enough to take, standing up to what you have been told to believe by thinking for yourself. If more people did this, the world would be a better place. I hope things continue to improve for you, and you always have plenty of fellow atheists here ready to talk when you need us.