RE: Being perceived as stubborn by my parents.
December 27, 2014 at 8:52 pm
(December 27, 2014 at 7:55 pm)MysticKnight Wrote: (December 27, 2014 at 7:50 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Why isn't he being stubborn by insisting you profess belief in some medieval bullshit?
It's a two-way street.
I don't think it's stubbornness to believe in a religion and want your family to believe in the same religion. I just don't get why he would perceive me being stubborn regarding Islam, which makes me think, he just said that to pressure on me to believe to get me married.
Religion has an element no matter what. It is a very deep seeded meme in religion to get married. That gets passed down from generation to generation. Now more secular societies the reason is that the parents simply want grandkids. But the institution of marriage has been co opted by religion so the underpinnings are there. Otherwise he wouldn't tell you to lie to get along in his social circles.
Really no different when someone "converts" from Christianity to Jew or Jew to Christian, even if just for the ceremony. It is really deeply rooted.
I am not saying your dad is fundy or intolerant, I don't know him of course. I am saying there are the underpinnings that are still there because of the social norms he grew up with.
It is the same with liberal Christians with other issues. They will say they are for gay marriage and equal pay for women but ignore the more fundy prior past that was full of bigotry and sexism.
He can say he isn't asking you to do this for religious reasons but he defies himself with asking you to pretend.
No one should even be asking you to fake it. You'd be doing it for him, not yourself. You'll simply have to tell him you will get married or not, on your own time to whom you chose and with the ceremony you want.
If your dad and you have a solid relationship, he may not understand but he will not disown you for being honest with him. Be polite if this comes up again, tell him you love him, but it is your choice.
