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Your Favorite Violent Part of the Bible
#31
RE: Your Favorite Violent Part of the Bible
Maybe the 2 she-bears were made up, and that was to explain away the 42 corpses old baldy had murderated himself ??

Perhaps I watch too much COPS on TV ???

How the fuck could 2 bears kill 42 kids ?

Seems like after the bears grab the first 2 kids, the other 40 are going to run in 40 different directions, and that will take 40 more bears to kill them all. And scripture doesn't record that.

Maybe the 2 bears were on a VERY high cliff, and fell off it. On the way down, they exceeded the speed of sound and the concussion from their impact killed the children ???


(does this make me an apologist, or just snarky ?)
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#32
RE: Your Favorite Violent Part of the Bible
This is from Numbers 16. In short, a group of Hebrews were complaining so god opened up the earth and swallowed the complainers, their wives and their children.

Quote:27 So they gat up from the tabernacle of Korah, Dathan, and Abiram, on every side: and Dathan and Abiram came out, and stood in the door of their tents, and their wives, and their sons, and their little children.

28 And Moses said, Hereby ye shall know that the Lord hath sent me to do all these works; for I have not done them of mine own mind.

29 If these men die the common death of all men, or if they be visited after the visitation of all men; then the Lord hath not sent me.

30 But if the Lord make a new thing, and the earth open her mouth, and swallow them up, with all that appertain unto them, and they go down quick into the pit; then ye shall understand that these men have provoked the Lord.

31 And it came to pass, as he had made an end of speaking all these words, that the ground clave asunder that was under them:

32 And the earth opened her mouth, and swallowed them up, and their houses, and all the men that appertained unto Korah, and all their goods.

33 They, and all that appertained to them, went down alive into the pit, and the earth closed upon them: and they perished from among the congregation.
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#33
RE: Your Favorite Violent Part of the Bible
(January 1, 2015 at 2:22 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: Maybe the 2 she-bears were made up, and that was to explain away the 42 corpses old baldy had murderated himself ??

Perhaps I watch too much COPS on TV ???

How the fuck could 2 bears kill 42 kids ?

Seems like after the bears grab the first 2 kids, the other 40 are going to run in 40 different directions, and that will take 40 more bears to kill them all. And scripture doesn't record that.

Maybe the 2 bears were on a VERY high cliff, and fell off it. On the way down, they exceeded the speed of sound and the concussion from their impact killed the children ???


(does this make me an apologist, or just snarky ?)

I thought about this and it does seem far fetched, but bears can take down several men, plus the fact these are god powered bears on a mission, it's 21 kids each, a bear could dive on 2 kids at a time and quickly dispatch them, and a bear can run as fast a horse I think I heard for short distances so catching up to the kids who managed to get a bit of distance might not be so difficult.


Are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. WE ARE FIREMEN! The heat doesn’t bother us. We live in the heat. We train in the heat. It tells us that we’re ready, we’re at home, we’re where we’re supposed to be. Flames don’t intimidate us. What do we do? We control the flame. We control them. We move the flames where we want to. And then we extinguish them.

Impersonation is treason.





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#34
RE: Your Favorite Violent Part of the Bible
Kids won't get off your lawn? Are they making fun of your lack of hair? Get god powered bears today. Your neighborhood will be kid free, your lawn will be beautiful and your baldness will be avenged. Just dial 1-Godsanasshole right now!
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#35
RE: Your Favorite Violent Part of the Bible
(January 2, 2015 at 11:11 am)Nope Wrote: Kids won't get off your lawn? Are they making fun of your lack of hair? Get god powered bears today. Your neighborhood will be kid free, your lawn will be beautiful and your baldness will be avenged. Just dial 1-Godsanasshole right now!

Not sure, if blood and gore make for good fertilisers.
[Image: Bumper+Sticker+-+Asheville+-+Praise+Dog3.JPG]
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#36
RE: Your Favorite Violent Part of the Bible
Rotting corpses do.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."

10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason...
http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/

Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50

A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh.
http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html

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#37
RE: Your Favorite Violent Part of the Bible
(January 2, 2015 at 11:39 am)Chad32 Wrote: Rotting corpses do.

Baby body farm in your frontyard. Well, that's something to look forward to.
[Image: Bumper+Sticker+-+Asheville+-+Praise+Dog3.JPG]
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#38
RE: Your Favorite Violent Part of the Bible
Can't beat samson da barbarian. And all of deez tings.

http://youtu.be/h8758UW_RjM
"Peace is a lie, there is only passion.
Through passion, I gain strength.
Through strength, I gain power.
Through power, I gain victory.
Through victory, my chains are broken."
Sith code
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#39
RE: Your Favorite Violent Part of the Bible
(January 2, 2015 at 3:47 am)paulpablo Wrote: I thought about this and it does seem far fetched, but bears can take down several men..

Nope it's true, saw it with my own eyes yesterday. Watched a single bear take down 3 men armed with automatic rifles in Far Cry 4.
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#40
RE: Your Favorite Violent Part of the Bible
Jacob, I love Dark Matters.

I forgot that Samson killed thirty men just because his guests answered his rather stupid riddle correctly. Even his riddle is sort of cheating because it depended on knowing something that only Samson and a few other people knew. Samson killed a lion and bees made honey in its corpse. The answer didn't depend on the other person's intelligence to figure out. It made perfect sense for the Philistines to seek out the answer through stealth. The only point of the story is to show that Samson was a sore and very violent loser.
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