I normally tell Jehovah's Witnesses

[KUSA]

I thought that Mormons got their own planet.

[The Valkyrie]

Starwars Jesus?

Jehovas witnesses religion is tied into scifi with a starwars vibe so if you are good enough when you die you get to rule over your own planet. satan i mean darth vader is the brother to luke - aka starwars jesus and he is jealous that luke got his own planet so you know where this is going there is videos on it on the bible reloaded.

Isn't that Mormonism?

[AFTT47]

I tell them I didn't see the accident.

[dyresand]

Jehovas witnesses religion is tied into scifi with a starwars vibe so if you are good enough when you die you get to rule over your own planet. satan i mean darth vader is the brother to luke - aka starwars jesus and he is jealous that luke got his own planet so you know where this is going there is videos on it on the bible reloaded.

Isn't that Mormonism?

It's all the same bullshit to me at this point. But what bothers me about Jehovas witnesses they can't have sort of fun its fucking church church church church can't drink
have many wives church church church more church christmas is here gotta go to fucking church. saturday going to miss the game fucking church yeah that is a religion
for people who have no goals in life or expectations for anything.

[Minimalist]

If the fuckers stayed in the fucking church I wouldn't have a problem with them.


It's when they come out that they get in trouble.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I find that "no thanks, I'm not a believer" works well for me.

And if they're on my porch, "what are you doing here?" will put them on their heels.

Of course, now I live out in the country and don't have to worry about that sort of horseshit.

[Alex K]

And if they're on my porch, "what are you doing here?" will put them on their heels.

If I were in Texas, I'd stay the hell off people's porches. On the other hand, maybe getting shot while witnessing earns you a free ticket to heaven...

---

because she looked like a 70 year old grandmother.

All that means is that she's probably been pissing people off for a long, long time.

I recently had a variation of that. We'd live on the 4th floor, and when the doorbell rang, a well-groomed mid 20s guy in a suit was standing there, explaining that his colleague would be there any second. A minute later a completely out of breath 80yo lady came up the stairs behind him. I guess at this point I was supposed to feel sorry for the old one and let the snappy dresser in with her to offer them tea. Alas, me saying I was a super-hardcore atheist sent them both straight back down.

[Fidel_Castronaut]

I tell them I didn't see the accident.

"I didn't see nothin'"

[ManMachine]

---

to Fuck off. But today an elderly woman walked up to my car and "witnessed " to me. She asked me if I thought things were getting better, worse, or staying the same. I politely replied that the answer to that depends on how you want to look at it.

I just couldn't bring myself to trip this woman up with logic because she looked like a 70 year old grandmother.

Anyway here is what she gave me. Typical bullshit.

---

I say apply that logic before she dies, at least she might be able to have one glorious week of sex and drugs and rock n' roll before shuffling off this mortal coil.

MM

[Norman Humann]

We usually tell them to fuck off through the window. When you open the door they just get harder to get rid of.

One Sunday I was walking down the street, ditching church when these two come up to me and hand me a pamphlet about the dead raising. I had a good laugh.