Parents forcing a christian convention on me - how to keep sane?

[Norman Humann]

Welp, that sucks. Do you think you'll have internet access there? If not, I don't know. Just try to ignore most of it. Like Min said, study for your exams. If you want my tips on how to survive lectures, just zone off. Think about something else. Or imagine the lecturer with a funny hat. If you try to note everything wrong with what they're saying, your blood pressure is in danger. Good luck, man.

[dyresand]

So when I say forcing I mean they think I want to go, I havent told them about my athiesm as I don't want to face the consequences
With that out of the way I am going to a christian convention on Monday! The time where I have to take a break from my exams Im getting preached about how fucking amazing JC is!

So how do I keep sane? What should I do to keep my ass out of a mental asylum!

Thank you

Tell them that you not knowing jesus or god allows you to get into heaven. 
Aslo add this part in 
That if you do teach me about either it would be harder for me to get into heaven because
not knowing about either of them i can get into heaven much more easier.  

Because well it's a Clause that is literally in the bible.

[robvalue]

What would happen if you said you're a muslim now? Would they realize they would be hypocritical to force their religion on you if they don't also come to mosques and stuff with you?

Just a wild idea. Sorry to hear about this, it's totally unfair you're forced to do this rubbish

Can you take in a book or headphones or something?

[coolfunkDJ]

What would happen if you said you're a muslim now? Would they realize they would be hypocritical to force their religion on you if they don't also come to mosques and stuff with you?

Just a wild idea. Sorry to hear about this, it's totally unfair you're forced to do this rubbish

Can you take in a book or headphones or something?

I cashed out money for 16gb mp3 player with TONS of songs, that'll help, and Im bringing some anime along, but apart from that I dont think ill have anything else, and I can't come out as muslim, it'd be a better option to come out athiest. you dont wanna know my families opinion on religion, trust me!

[Anomalocaris]

Huh. Well, can you explain more about this convention? How long will it last and what would it look like?

http://www.springharvest.org/

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How old are you?

Why does that matter? 16...

 
Yes.  At 16 you should be ready to become independent enough to brush off any "consequences" from telling your parents about your atheistic outlook.

Let them know this.

[coolfunkDJ]

So when I say forcing I mean they think I want to go, I havent told them about my athiesm as I don't want to face the consequences
With that out of the way I am going to a christian convention on Monday! The time where I have to take a break from my exams Im getting preached about how fucking amazing JC is!

So how do I keep sane? What should I do to keep my ass out of a mental asylum!

Thank you

I don't want to show any lack of belief, because they will enforce it on me harder.

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http://www.springharvest.org/

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Why does that matter? 16...

 
Yes.  At 16 you should be ready to become independent enough to brush off any "consequences" from telling your parents about your atheistic outlook.

You obviously haven't met my parents

[SteelCurtain]

Yikes. 5 days? And those prices are per person?!?! Wow. Big family could be out like 1500 pounds for that 5 day sojourn.

Cash cow. The true reason for the Christian getaway.

DJ, the best you can do is treat it as a spy mission of sorts. Ask some tough questions in the little seminars. Keep notes from the lectures, and do a little research, and then the next day, if there is an opportunity, ask some damaging questions.

Talk to girls. Be a thorn. Not a disruption, but a thorn. Make just enough of a ripple so that your parents might hear of it and think twice about taking you to these exploitative "retreats."

But don't think it's not possible to have fun. You're young, enjoy your spring break. Despite the specific flavor of this retreat, there will undoubtedly be people in your same situation. And even if they're not, you can still have fun. The whole trip can't be jam packed with Christian nonsense. Be the guy who laughs at the shitty Christian rock music they play, be the guy who sows little seeds of doubt in people by not being the overt, all the time, no breaks Christian. Be a normal kid and you'll attract the other normal kids who were dragged there by their parents, and you might make some awesome friends.

[coolfunkDJ]

Welp, that sucks. Do you think you'll have internet access there? If not, I don't know. Just try to ignore most of it. Like Min said, study for your exams. If you want my tips on how to survive lectures, just zone off. Think about something else. Or imagine the lecturer with a funny hat. If you try to note everything wrong with what they're saying, your blood pressure is in danger. Good luck, man.

My parents say I will THIS TIME, last year I did but i was so far away from the actual convention I couldn't reach it

[YahwehIsTheWay]

So when I say forcing I mean they think I want to go, I havent told them about my athiesm as I don't want to face the consequences
With that out of the way I am going to a christian convention on Monday! The time where I have to take a break from my exams Im getting preached about how fucking amazing JC is!

So how do I keep sane? What should I do to keep my ass out of a mental asylum!

Thank you

It's very simple. If you can't beat them (or in this case, escape them) then JOIN THEM!!!!!

AND BE SURE TO PRACTICE YOUR ABUSE OF THE ALL CAPS BUTTON AND NEEDLESS EXCLAMATION POINTS!!!! 

You learn to be a True Christian ™. You study the Wholly Babble and commit yourself to believing every word of it, including all the parts that make no sense and all the parts that contradict each other! 

After all, if Jesus can be both 100% human and 100% divine, then he can also be born before 4 BCE (Matthew) and after 6 CE (Luke) all at the same time. It's a miracle! Praise the sweet name of Jay-zus. 

And don't worry about those exams. Unsaved heathen trash (atheists) are always the ones who actually know what's in the Wholly Babble where Christians usually don't have a clue. 

[out of character]

---

A good healthy role-playing exercise might be your ticket. It's how I keep my sanity. Often, I'll read something stupid by an apologist, my head hits the desk and then I excitedly start typing "AMEN!" (or I school the "dumb ass phony Christian" what the Wholly Babble really says) 

---

[/out of character]

Glory to Jebus. 
Amen.

EDIT TO ADD: Just be sure not to get too enthusiastic. There are limits. I exchanged a few PMs with one Christian before he caught on "heeeeyyy, you're a fake Christian", to which I asked "what was your first clue?" No reply. Test the limits with care. Good luck. 

[coolfunkDJ]

Yikes. 5 days? And those prices are per person?!?! Wow. Big family could be out like 1500 pounds for that 5 day sojourn.

Cash cow. The true reason for the Christian getaway.

DJ, the best you can do is treat it as a spy mission of sorts. Ask some tough questions in the little seminars. Keep notes from the lectures, and do a little research, and then the next day, if there is an opportunity, ask some damaging questions.

Talk to girls. Be a thorn. Not a disruption, but a thorn. Make just enough of a ripple so that your parents might hear of it and think twice about taking you to these exploitative "retreats."

But don't think it's not possible to have fun. You're young, enjoy your spring break. Despite the specific flavor of this retreat, there will undoubtedly be people in your same situation. And even if they're not, you can still have fun. The whole trip can't be jam packed with Christian nonsense. Be the guy who laughs at the shitty Christian rock music they play, be the guy who sows little seeds of doubt in people by not being the overt, all the time, no breaks Christian. Be a normal kid and you'll attract the other normal kids who were dragged there by their parents, and you might make some awesome friends.

damn, good advice, but I'm not really the 'rebellious' type, and Ive been once, lets just say its hard to meet friends and people there...