How to comfort a death to a Christian

[Archbow]

Alright guys, I'm having a bit of a difficult time here. A close friend of mine has very recently lost her brother, and other family members in the last few years to random deaths, and she tends to be very Religious. I'm speaking with her now.. and I find myself unable to relate to her, which int urn makes it hard for me to comfort her.

I want to tell her that when someone dies, that it's part of life, and that accepting it as thus would ease the pain, but she's glued to the fact that God had taken them away, and that God is the one to blame. I'm speaking with her now, and she's a complete wreck over this God taking them away from them business, and I'm having difficulty finding a way to comfort her.

Should I just play the Religious card and tell her the same "God said it was his time" bullshit I was told as a kid, or tell her my beliefs on how to deal with a loss of a loved one?

[Minimalist]

Yeah....


"God said it was his time" = "Shit Happens."

She probably does not want to hear that though. Sometimes it is best not to say anything. Just give her a hug.

[RedFish]

Anything you say will be inflammatory. When your heart is broken you have to blame somebody, would advise against giving them targets ie something to focus anger on. Show them love, let them be angry. Some wounds never heal. Talk when they want to, and don't be ashamed to weep. Childrens' laughter is the best tonic.
My sympathies to you and yours.

[Craveman]

Should I just play the Religious card and tell her the same "God said it was his time" bullshit I was told as a kid, or tell her my beliefs on how to deal with a loss of a loved one?

Difficult one...

If I was you, I would just be as supportive as possible and if you have to tell a little white lie to help comfort her, so be it . She would be very distressed and it would makes things worse if you had to voice your religious views. I'd say keep that discussion for another day.

Good luck!

[tavarish]

Can you actually relate to her in sentiment? That might be a starting point.

[Welsh cake]

Should I just play the Religious card and tell her the same "God said it was his time" bullshit I was told as a kid, or tell her my beliefs on how to deal with a loss of a loved one?

Sorry to hear about your friend.

Arch, you'll need to say something more productive than the tired "God came to collect" malarkey, that may not be what she needs right now. Either say nothing and comfort her grieving or change the subject and try to make her as happy as possible until she can cope with this loss.