Quitting habits.

[Edwardo Piet]

I am after some tips that can apply to giving up any bad habit including addictions. Anything from stopping nail biting once and for all to quitting smoking to quitting any recreational drug.

As for what applies to me I have a caffine addiction and i nail bite. I used to have gaming addiction and a porn addiction. They went away but I don't know why or how and that bothers me. How do I know that I won't go backwards? And how actually do I give up habits obsessions and addictions?

My partner smokes and I would love to help her quit once and for all.

So what I need is general advice and research that works when applied. Real practicable evidence and advice.

Please, thank you, I want to feel and be in control of my life. I want simplicity of decisions and committment and motivation again.

[Aractus]

Well don't substitute an addiction with another for a start.

Anti-smoking programs are incredibly ineffective. My course convener at uni has told us twice about how he helped run a program for a very large corporation with over 1000 employees. They advertised internally and invited people to attend, to learn methods to help them give up smoking, and only around 20 or so people did. Of those that attended, 2 of them had quit smoking by the end of the program. One year later, only one of those two was still a non-smoker. So a lot of time, money, and effort was spent for just one person to give up smoking. From the description it sounded like this was a corporation with a higher than average number of smokers (not unusual depending on the workplace).

For some addictions there will be nationally accessible help - for instance alcohol or gambling. For others there isn't, so perhaps your best bet is to talk with a specialist, you may be able to get a referral from your GP. If you want my advice on caffeine - you can certainly become dependant on it, where without it you will suffer migraine like headaches, etc. I know some people this has happened to. You may need to make a calendar and reduce your daily caffeine overtime. Each week drink one less cup of coffee until you're down to two cups a day at the most. There are some health benefits to having a daily cup of coffee, so there's no need to get rid of it entirely.

I'm not at all sure what the best way to quit smoking is. I'd suggest starting by not allowing yourself to ever smoke in a social setting; not in front of others at all and doing it in "secret". This means that instead of enjoying other people's company each time you have a cigarette you are punishing yourself until you finish. This may mean you can't physically smoke as much as you're used to. Also, every cigarette less that you smoke per day will have an ongoing health benefit. Smoking illnesses (coronary heart disease and cancers) take 20 years to develop. So if you're a pack-a-day smoker today, it's in 20 years time that you will be punished for it, on average. Emphysema will develop in the present. You have to look at the big picture: if you give up smoking today then 20 years from now there will be no effect that it has to increase your risk of coronary heart disease or cancer.

[Jericho]

Well, I myself used to nail bite. What I have come to learn from my research back then was that there are quite a few solutions, though they differ depending on the person. One such solution is to take some sort of pepper extract or something similar and put it on your nails. Obviously, this will cause a negative reaction whenever you go to put your fingers around your mouth, as it will be hot as hell. A lot of people say that that one worked for them. Though it did not for me. What I did was more effective since I am in the military and am working every day. I just wore a pair of gloves during work and when I slept. This left my hands covered and caused me to be unable to bite my nails for the majority of the day and night.

Hope some of that helped. And if not, I wish you luck.

[Edwardo Piet]

Thank you for all the suggestions guys.

You see I am certain that I have an addictive and impulsive personality. My brother thinks so too. I have never been a drinker but I got drunk for the first time and loved it. Love all kinds of alcohol I just cannot afford it. I feel I inevitably would have many addictions if i could. My willpower is so weak and i need advice that applies to all habits to willpower self control impulsiveness and addictive personalities. I am so glad i am not rich!

[robvalue]

That must be very frustrating, I wish I could offer some sound advice but I don't know enough. People have called me addicted before, I think it's a word that gets thrown around loosely sometimes. I certainly get obsessed if I'm not careful. I wish you well with your efforts to address these issues, admitting you have a problem is important.

[Edwardo Piet]

I am 26 now must have felt this way since I was 17. I hate feeling a slave to short term impulses instead of long term motives.

Have issues with procrastination too so not only do i struggle to stop doing what i do not wish to but i also struggle to start doing what i do wish to.

I need more willpower! It's horrible. Totally admit I have a problem.

[robvalue]

Have you tried to seek therapy?

[Edwardo Piet]

No but I know I need to take responsibilty and sort myself out. Also I am noticiably quite elated in mood most of the time and I just don't get taken seriously. I am the kind of guy who grins while his life slowly falls apart.

I think the problem may be self-contempt and self-sabotage. I can come across as cocky but I feel it is a mask of artificial complacency and deep down my self esteem and self respect is rock bottom.

[Jericho]

No but I know I need to take responsibilty and sort myself out. Also I am noticiably quite elated in mood most of the time and I just don't get taken seriously. I am the kind of guy who grins while his life slowly falls apart.

I think the problem may be self-contempt and self-sabotage. I can come across as cocky but I feel it is a mask of artificial complacency and deep down my self esteem and self respect is rock bottom.

I can identify with those words perfectly, for I am the exact same way. The way I get through it most times is to first realize that I need to fix my life (which you clearly have done), seek assistance through the internet or phone (which you are doing now), and just think about it. I know this advice is pretty lackluster, but it really helped me. The main thing I did, and still do, is to just sit in my room and talk to myself. I know it is an odd thought to just ramble to yourself, but I have solved many of my problems by doing just that.

[Edwardo Piet]

Sounds like a good idea. Time alone may help with self control, haven't had time alone in over a year! Almost always with girlfriend and when I am not I am with family or friends. Never alone. I would like time alone. (Girlfriend is beside me now).