Posts: 15351
Threads: 118
Joined: January 13, 2014
Reputation:
116
RE: Christians say the creepiest shit
May 4, 2015 at 8:17 pm
Christ's jism tastes like bleach. Don't ask me how I know that.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
Posts: 951
Threads: 19
Joined: April 26, 2015
Reputation:
26
RE: Christians say the creepiest shit
May 4, 2015 at 9:23 pm
(May 4, 2015 at 8:17 pm)SteelCurtain Wrote: Christ's jism tastes like bleach. Don't ask me how I know that.
You were on your knees for jesus for way too long.
Anti-intellectualism has been a constant thread winding its way through our political and cultural life, nurtured by the false notion that democracy means that 'my ignorance is just as good as your knowledge.' -Isaac Asimov-
Posts: 7318
Threads: 75
Joined: April 18, 2015
Reputation:
72
RE: Christians say the creepiest shit
May 4, 2015 at 10:29 pm
(May 4, 2015 at 8:17 pm)SteelCurtain Wrote: Christ's jism tastes like bleach. Don't ask me how I know that.
Years spent on thorough research and experimenting? Or a visit in the catholic church
Posts: 15351
Threads: 118
Joined: January 13, 2014
Reputation:
116
RE: Christians say the creepiest shit
May 4, 2015 at 10:40 pm
It came to me in a dream.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great
PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
Posts: 29107
Threads: 218
Joined: August 9, 2014
Reputation:
155
RE: Christians say the creepiest shit
May 4, 2015 at 10:40 pm
Do you remember the pleasure GELF from Red Dwarf? I'm starting to think that's what Jesus is
(Genetically engineered life form)
Posts: 2962
Threads: 44
Joined: March 22, 2013
Reputation:
39
RE: Christians say the creepiest shit
May 5, 2015 at 12:38 pm
Hmmm, Mick Jagger can't get no satisfaction. Maybe he should try a more godly romance? Filling up the room?
Well, that's a bit optimistic. Hyperbole and all. Yeah.
Quote:"Divine Romance"
The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty's all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I'm completely satisfied
For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love
A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it's filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God I'm completely satisfied
Posts: 67390
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
161
RE: Christians say the creepiest shit
May 5, 2015 at 12:57 pm
"Have you been washed in the blood?"
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 25314
Threads: 239
Joined: August 26, 2010
Reputation:
155
RE: Christians say the creepiest shit
May 5, 2015 at 1:20 pm
Something that I just heard in a Kent Hovind dissection video. He's singing in a creepy axe-killer voice, to the tune of Barney's "I Love You, You Love Me":
God loves you, God loves me,
He wants you in his family.
If you ask him now if he'll come into your heart
Of his family you'll be part.
Probably doesn't seem like much in print, but if I was in his cell and woke up in the wee hours hearing that, I'd be in the machine shop making shivs and taking the governor hostage in return for my freedom before lights out the next day.
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
Posts: 1137
Threads: 17
Joined: April 26, 2015
Reputation:
21
RE: Christians say the creepiest shit
May 5, 2015 at 1:28 pm
"Remember that if you sin, Jesus will get you in your sleep."
Yes...that was actually told to me when I was a kid by one of the old ladies in the church I went to.
Posts: 640
Threads: 7
Joined: May 4, 2015
Reputation:
9
RE: Christians say the creepiest shit
May 5, 2015 at 1:39 pm
(This post was last modified: May 5, 2015 at 1:41 pm by dahrling.)
(May 5, 2015 at 1:28 pm)Jericho Wrote: "Remember that if you sin, Jesus will get you in your sleep."
Yes...that was actually told to me when I was a kid by one of the old ladies in the church I went to.
O_O And I thought my church was filled with crazy religious people
To be honest, Brazil has some crazy religious people. I don't think the world knows just how many. The worst part is: they're growing in number. Every year we have thousands of converts from traditional Catholic churches to extremely religious evangelical ones.
|