Sexual openness and promiscuity

[KUSA]

Most of us are influenced by religious morals in regards to sexuality. Even though we may not agree with the brainwashing we received, we still have elements of it in our minds.

With all elements of religion removed, how open should an Atheist society be towards sexuality? Would the word "whore" even exist?

[Exian]

I think it should exist just for those who like that sort of kink, but not as something to feel shameful about. Actually, wouldn't the shameful aspect have to exist to get anything out of the kink?

[Jenny A]

I think it should exist just for those who like that sort of kink, but not as something to feel shameful about. Actually, wouldn't the shameful aspect have to exist to get anything out of the kink?

Nope!  I'm both pretty kinky and pretty shameless.  Pain is a sexual hot sauce for me.  I like to both give and receive it.  It's sensation overload and goes great with sex.   Also, probably TMI, but the human face in pain and in orgasm are very similar, as is the sound of cumming and the sound of pain.  That said there is sexy pain and not sexy pain.  The trick is to stick to the former. I'm not interested in pain unless my partner also finds it arousing.

Finally, I'm a control freak.  While shame might explain those who want to be forced, how do you explain those of us who want to do the consensual forcing?  (Yes, I realize that's an oxymoron but it is what is wanted).

[Ashground]

It would be treated like religious beliefs are treated in the most successful secular societies. It would be personal, not public. I think promiscuity is fine so long as you use protection. One thing I hope would diminish is any attempt to separate emotion from sex. "Purely physical" isn't something I consider healthy. Surely even a one-off encounter doesn't have to lack affection or honesty? Then again I think the number of loveless marriages shows that's I'm being naive.

[Jenny A]

It would be treated like religious beliefs are treated in the most successful secular societies. It would be personal, not public. I think promiscuity is fine so long as you use protection. One thing I hope would diminish is any attempt to separate emotion from sex. "Purely physical" isn't something I consider healthy. Surely even a one-off encounter doesn't have to lack affection or honesty? Then again I think the number of loveless marriages shows that's I'm being naive.

You are being naive, but long live your naivete.  Sex takes place as much in the brain as the genitals.  Emotion is more than half of it.  Start fucking everything that moves and you've lost the point.  Not much difference between that and masturbation.  Masturbation's fine, but sex with someone ought to be better.

[Losty]

I think it should exist just for those who like that sort of kink, but not as something to feel shameful about. Actually, wouldn't the shameful aspect have to exist to get anything out of the kink?

Nope!  I'm both pretty kinky and pretty shameless.  Pain is a sexual hot sauce for me.  I like to both give and receive it.  It's sensation overload and goes great with sex.   Also, probably TMI, but the human face in pain and in orgasm are very similar, as is the sound of cumming and the sound of pain.  That said there is sexy pain and not sexy pain.  The trick is to stick to the former. I'm not interested in pain unless my partner also finds it arousing.

Finally, I'm a control freak.  While shame might explain those who want to be forced, how do you explain those of us who want to do the consensual forcing?  (Yes, I realize that's an oxymoron but it is what is wanted).

I think though, without the existence of sexual taboos and very real shame, where would be the opening for people with humiliation kinks?

[Jenny A]

I think though, without the existence of sexual taboos and very real shame, where would be the opening for people with humiliation kinks?

I'm not entirely sure.  For some people who don't receive much positive attention, any attention seems to be good attention.  So perhaps as long as there are people on the outside there will be people with humiliation kinks. I must admit though that humiliation isn't a kink of mine either as a top or a bottom.

[Exian]

Such is the dichotomy of the inside vs outside view. Not to derail this thread, but just to draw some parallels; this is why I find it so hard to judge anybody in any area of life. Usually the one passing judgment is on the outside, which is a funny place to pass judgment since you know less on the outside, while those in the know are more qualified yet less likely to do so.

"Consensual forcing" on the outside seems too transparent a facade (an oxymoron, as you put it), but while in that role, you can be very convincing to yourself. I notice this phenomenon on a more consistent basis with movie previews. Something will stick out in that preview like a sore thumb (shoddy CGI, corny one-liner, etc.), but while embroiled in the plot of the movie, those same poorly executed scenes will go unnoticed. Suspension of disbelief.

Jenny, what I mean to say is with the idea of what it is to be a whore, wouldn't the kink go away if it was no longer stigmatized? Isn't the taboo of it what makes it a turn on?

I'm sorry if you addressed that and I missed it.

[Losty]

Most of us are influenced by religious morals in regards to sexuality. Even though we may not agree with the brainwashing we received, we still have elements of it in our minds.

With all elements of religion removed, how open should an Atheist society be towards sexuality? Would the word "whore" even exist?

How open should we be...that's a very difficult question. I have no idea. In my mind anything goes as long as it's between mentally competent consenting adults. So I would say I am pretty open minded and I would definitely like to see more people being more open minded. I do not want to say goodbye to the word whore because it's one of my favorite nicknames.

[Exian]

Side note: you sound like my kind of lady, Jenny. I'm into pain too, but I've never been able to bring myself to be the giver. Conflicts with my people pleaser disposition.