RE: Am I over the hill at 26?
June 28, 2015 at 8:16 am
(This post was last modified: June 28, 2015 at 8:21 am by Razzle.)
(June 27, 2015 at 11:46 am)Pyrrho Wrote: It is impossible to know why someone does not contact you back when you don't really know the person. So you should not worry about that happening, as it will almost certainly happen to you, no matter what you do or are like. You could be the greatest guy in the world, and still there will be some who will do that.
You seem prone to think that it must be something wrong with you that causes this. But it can be that that person has bad taste, and does not want what is good. Or it could be totally neutral, that something came up in their life that now makes it inconvenient or practically impossible to work on a new friendship. Really, the possibilities are endless for specific reasons why, so you should not worry about such things.
It is only if this happens constantly with no exceptions, and has happened more than 20 times that you might want to be concerned. And then it may be that the problem is in your approach, that somehow you are meeting up with losers instead of people you really want.
You're right, I was assuming the problem must have been with me. Yesterday someone pointed out a few things I hadn't considered: first of all, that anyone on a dating website who says they're just looking to make friends with no other expectations, is lying. She also said that most people who call themselves polyamorous, as this person did, don't know what they want and are likely to be the flakiest people on a dating site. I don't know whether that's true or not. And people often decide to do something different with their life, like get a partner, and then quickly change their mind when they make some headway. Between these and the possibilities you've suggested, it does seem silly to assume that I must have been the problem.
"Faith is a state of openness or trust. To have faith is like when you trust yourself to the water. You don't grab hold of the water when you swim, because if you do you will become stiff and tight in the water, and sink. You have to relax, and the attitude of faith is the very opposite of clinging, and holding on. In other words, a person who is fanatic in matters of religion, and clings to certain ideas about the nature of God and the universe becomes a person who has no faith at all. Instead they are holding tight. But the attitude of faith is to let go, and become open to truth, whatever it might turn out to be."
Alan Watts
Alan Watts
