Posts: 21822
Threads: 24
Joined: February 2, 2010
Reputation:
106
RE: Pope: Sometimes Husband-and-Wife Splits Become 'Morally Necessary'
June 26, 2015 at 11:13 am
(June 25, 2015 at 4:22 pm)robvalue Wrote: So... He goes into a board meeting with his PR team, they decide how to best balance old obviously bollocks doctrine with some illusion of progression...
Then he goes to speak to God, who happens to agree with every point. Then, it's official?
Well I'm just guessing here.
A joke I'm fond of:
Quote:While on a business trip to Rome, the CEO of Tyson Foods manages to be granted an audience with the Pope at the Vatican. After receiving the papal blessing, he says to the Holy Father, "Your Holiness, I've come with a business proposition for you. Tyson Foods is prepared to donate 100 million dollars to the church if you'll change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'".
Taken aback, the Pope responds, "My son, we cannot do that. The prayer is the word of God. It must not be changed from how it is written in the holy scriptures."
"Well," says the Tyson man, "we anticipated your reluctance. For this reason, we'll increase our offer to 300 million dollars. All we require is that you change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'".
Again, the Pope replies, "It is simply not in our power, my son. As I have said, this prayer represents the immutable word of God and cannot be changed under any circumstance. Not one jot or tittle may be altered."
Finally, the Tyson president says, "Your Holiness, we at Tyson Foods respect your adherence to your faith, but we do have one final offer. We will donate 500 million dollars — that's half a billion dollars — to the great Roman Catholic Church if you would only change the Lord's Prayer from 'Give us this day our daily bread' to 'Give us this day our daily chicken'. You don't have to give your final answer now, but please consider it." With that, he leaves.
The next day the Pope convenes the College of Cardinals. "There is some good news," he announces, "and some bad news. The good news is that the Church is about to come into 500 million dollars." "And what is the bad news, Holy Father?" asks a Cardinal.
The Pope replies, "We're losing the Wonder Bread account."
Posts: 7140
Threads: 12
Joined: March 14, 2013
Reputation:
72
RE: Pope: Sometimes Husband-and-Wife Splits Become 'Morally Necessary'
June 26, 2015 at 11:30 am
(June 26, 2015 at 9:51 am)vorlon13 Wrote: Sucks to be pope.
Sounds like he's got the positions reversed.
"Well, evolution is a theory. It is also a fact. And facts and theories are different things, not rungs in a hierarchy of increasing certainty. Facts are the world's data. Theories are structures of ideas that explain and interpret facts. Facts don't go away when scientists debate rival theories to explain them. Einstein's theory of gravitation replaced Newton's in this century, but apples didn't suspend themselves in midair, pending the outcome. And humans evolved from ape- like ancestors whether they did so by Darwin's proposed mechanism or by some other yet to be discovered."
-Stephen Jay Gould
Posts: 69248
Threads: 3759
Joined: August 2, 2009
Reputation:
259
RE: Pope: Sometimes Husband-and-Wife Splits Become 'Morally Necessary'
June 26, 2015 at 12:37 pm
(June 26, 2015 at 9:51 am)vorlon13 Wrote: Pope can't win. Upholding immoral/amoral bible bullshit is vile and offensive, yet if he faces reality and changes something, he's a goddam apostatized blasphemin' heretic.
Sucks to be pope.
Fuck him. He took the job.
Posts: 98
Threads: 3
Joined: June 26, 2015
Reputation:
1
RE: Pope: Sometimes Husband-and-Wife Splits Become 'Morally Necessary'
June 26, 2015 at 12:40 pm
(This post was last modified: June 26, 2015 at 12:41 pm by PiousPaladin.)
What can we expect from a communist liberal but lies and foul blasphemies. Still, God does not allow him to proclaim this foolishness infallibly, but I hope he leaves his post soon.
Posts: 380
Threads: 17
Joined: February 10, 2015
Reputation:
12
RE: Pope: Sometimes Husband-and-Wife Splits Become 'Morally Necessary'
June 26, 2015 at 12:44 pm
Did you seriously just call the Pope a fucking commie?
![[Image: 5505952+_0a3b441c09cc3bcd59fc5eee414b263b.gif]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=new2.fjcdn.com%2Fthumbnails%2Fcomments%2F5505952%2B_0a3b441c09cc3bcd59fc5eee414b263b.gif)
I-I can't
Posts: 30673
Threads: 2117
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: Pope: Sometimes Husband-and-Wife Splits Become 'Morally Necessary'
June 26, 2015 at 1:49 pm
(June 26, 2015 at 12:40 pm)PiousPaladin Wrote: What can we expect from a communist liberal but lies and foul blasphemies. Still, God does not allow him to proclaim this foolishness infallibly, but I hope he leaves his post soon.
I am a former Catholic, and a Liberal, but do not value communism.
I am no fan of economics being treated dogmatically. Just like ecosystems depend on balance and diversity, so should economics. I am no fan of Che, or Ayn Rand. I'd consider myself a private sector socialist, allow for the private sector, some difference in pay, but not the lopsided bullshit corporate America forces on us.
Most other western 1rst world countries value health care and livable wages and cheep or free higher education. I don't think we have to become Castro's fascist one party state to do that.
One thing both liberals and conservatives do is treat the word "capitalism" as a form of government. It is not. The Saudi Royal Family is rich, they own oil companies and stocks in banks. Gadaffi was a billionaire who owned stock in GE. I am sure if you could crawl into the finances of the Un family you would find global investments too. The truth is there is not one power, be it a family or party, friend or foe, that does not have it's hands in the global market.
If humans want more peace worldwide, the first place to start is to face this fact.
Posts: 21822
Threads: 24
Joined: February 2, 2010
Reputation:
106
RE: Pope: Sometimes Husband-and-Wife Splits Become 'Morally Necessary'
June 26, 2015 at 6:16 pm
(June 26, 2015 at 12:40 pm)PiousPaladin Wrote: What can we expect from a communist liberal but lies and foul blasphemies. Still, God does not allow him to proclaim this foolishness infallibly, but I hope he leaves his post soon.
Maybe you should pray for that, and we can see who the truer Christian is.
Posts: 7085
Threads: 69
Joined: September 11, 2012
Reputation:
84
RE: Pope: Sometimes Husband-and-Wife Splits Become 'Morally Necessary'
June 26, 2015 at 7:26 pm
(June 26, 2015 at 12:40 pm)PiousPaladin Wrote: What can we expect from a communist liberal but lies and foul blasphemies. Still, God does not allow him to proclaim this foolishness infallibly, but I hope he leaves his post soon.
Ew.
Oops! There it is again!
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
Posts: 30595
Threads: 204
Joined: July 19, 2011
Reputation:
141
RE: Pope: Sometimes Husband-and-Wife Splits Become 'Morally Necessary'
June 26, 2015 at 7:52 pm
(June 26, 2015 at 12:44 pm)Metis Wrote: Did you seriously just call the Pope a fucking commie?
I used to wonder what state of affairs could drive someone to divorce themselves from reality like that.
Now I just point and laugh.
Posts: 7318
Threads: 75
Joined: April 18, 2015
Reputation:
73
RE: Pope: Sometimes Husband-and-Wife Splits Become 'Morally Necessary'
June 27, 2015 at 5:18 am
(June 26, 2015 at 12:40 pm)PiousPaladin Wrote: What can we expect from a communist liberal but lies and foul blasphemies. Still, God does not allow him to proclaim this foolishness infallibly, but I hope he leaves his post soon.
You are the pope of Poes, Poe pope
|
