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What to say to Grandma?
#11
RE: What to say to Grandma?
You handled that very well Smile
Nolite te bastardes carborundorum.
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#12
RE: What to say to Grandma?
Spam filters work wonders.

Grandma: "Did you get my email?"
Me: "No, I didn't Grandma." *checks phone "Internet must be down."
Grandma: "I'll send it again."
Me: "mmkay."
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great

PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
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#13
RE: What to say to Grandma?
(September 1, 2015 at 11:33 pm)rexbeccarox Wrote: You handled that very well Smile

Thank you, I'm trying to. It's hard to balance between standing up for my views when they're criticized and not coming across as attacking (my grandma is pretty sensitive about it most of the time, whether it's her religion, political beliefs, or social convictions).

(September 1, 2015 at 11:34 pm)SteelCurtain Wrote: Spam filters work wonders.

Grandma: "Did you get my email?"
Me: "No, I didn't Grandma." *checks phone "Internet must be down."
Grandma: "I'll send it again."
Me: "mmkay."

Ha! I love it. This is what I'm going to do!
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#14
RE: What to say to Grandma?
(September 1, 2015 at 11:30 pm)cosmowanderer Wrote: Update... she emailed me again, asking if I've changed my mind about being an atheist. I told her it's not really something I can just change my mind about, but if she would like to ask me any questions about it, she is more than welcome to. She replied saying she has no questions but that she wants me to change my mind before it's too late. Feeling a little pissed off, I replied letting her know that I have an open mind and that if I ever do find reason to believe again, I will, but that I've searched for god more than most people and have left no stone unturned or question unasked. I told her I feel atheism isn't an "option" I just whimsically chose, but the conclusion to an extensive decade-long search.

Well done.
Dying to live, living to die.
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#15
RE: What to say to Grandma?
Seriously though, this is the route I choose with my parents/sister.

My relationship with them is more important than proving myself right, so when my sister posts ridiculous shit on Facebook, I let it go. When my mom says dumb shit about how she loves Ted Cruz/Marco Rubio, I let it go.

I have my boundaries, and I will defend them. They all know that if they don't want to have a serious conversation about why their beliefs are stupid, don't proselytize. I laid that out there years ago. Preemptively. We can have a genial conversation, asking questions, etc. As soon as it gets preachy, we're gonna get real. They tested those waters a couple of times and found them too warm.

The only other thing that will bring out my claws is when I am talking about an accomplishment and (generally my mother) will say something along the lines of "Praise God!" Nope, uh uh, not gonna fucking happen. I worked hard for that shit, my sacrifice, my effort, my diligence made that happen, and you don't get to tell me it was all Jesus. FUCK that. Mom tried that shit when I posted my Final grade for a summer course I was taking most recently. Like she forgot.

Draw your lines preemptively and leave that particular ball in their court.
"There remain four irreducible objections to religious faith: that it wholly misrepresents the origins of man and the cosmos, that because of this original error it manages to combine the maximum servility with the maximum of solipsism, that it is both the result and the cause of dangerous sexual repression, and that it is ultimately grounded on wish-thinking." ~Christopher Hitchens, god is not Great

PM me your email address to join the Slack chat! I'll give you a taco(or five) if you join! --->There's an app and everything!<---
Reply
#16
RE: What to say to Grandma?
(September 1, 2015 at 11:53 pm)SteelCurtain Wrote: Seriously though, this is the route I choose with my parents/sister.

My relationship with them is more important than proving myself right, so when my sister posts ridiculous shit on Facebook, I let it go. When my mom says dumb shit about how she loves Ted Cruz/Marco Rubio, I let it go.

I have my boundaries, and I will defend them. They all know that if they don't want to have a serious conversation about why their beliefs are stupid, don't proselytize. I laid that out there years ago. Preemptively. We can have a genial conversation, asking questions, etc. As soon as it gets preachy, we're gonna get real. They tested those waters a couple of times and found them too warm.

The only other thing that will bring out my claws is when I am talking about an accomplishment and (generally my mother) will say something along the lines of "Praise God!" Nope, uh uh, not gonna fucking happen. I worked hard for that shit, my sacrifice, my effort, my diligence made that happen, and you don't get to tell me it was all Jesus. FUCK that. Mom tried that shit when I posted my Final grade for a summer course I was taking most recently. Like she forgot.

Draw your lines preemptively and leave that particular ball in their court.

Well said, and I agree with you about all of this.

As far as praising god for the outcomes of hard work, I am 100% on board with you there, too. It drives me nuts when sacrifices, hard work, and all that are summed up to "God did it!" Especially when someone credits god for medical work, as though doctor's didn't do a damn thing to help. I can't stand that. Almost as bad as when something tragic happens and someone says "It was God's plan." My friend's brother died in December, and at his funeral someone went up to her and said "His death was all a part of God's plan. Trust in it. This was supposed to happen." My friend—another atheist—snapped and said "If this was God's plan, then he is either a total rat bastard or doesn't know what the fuck he's doing!"
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#17
RE: What to say to Grandma?
(September 1, 2015 at 8:31 pm)cosmowanderer Wrote: How do I get her to back off without it being seen as me attacking her?

Hide her teeth. Big Grin

Seriously though, old folk are pretty set in their ways by now. They may know exactly what they are doing in which case, ain't gonna happen. Or, they do not know what they are doing and that is almost as bad. It really is hard to teach an old dog new tricks. Been there, done that and now I am one.

"Yes ma'am, you're right, I'm an idiot." and just continue on your merry way.
You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson

God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Superintendent Chalmers

Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.
-- Ned Flanders

Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
-- The Rev Lovejoy
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#18
RE: What to say to Grandma?
Quote:Thank you, I'm trying to.

You seem to be the only one trying.
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#19
RE: What to say to Grandma?
(September 1, 2015 at 8:31 pm)cosmowanderer Wrote: How do I get her to back off without it being seen as me attacking her?

Threaten her with some reindeer.  Big Grin



You make people miserable and there's nothing they can do about it, just like god.
-- Homer Simpson

God has no place within these walls, just as facts have no place within organized religion.
-- Superintendent Chalmers

Science is like a blabbermouth who ruins a movie by telling you how it ends. There are some things we don't want to know. Important things.
-- Ned Flanders

Once something's been approved by the government, it's no longer immoral.
-- The Rev Lovejoy
Reply
#20
RE: What to say to Grandma?
(September 2, 2015 at 1:36 am)IATIA Wrote:
(September 1, 2015 at 8:31 pm)cosmowanderer Wrote: How do I get her to back off without it being seen as me attacking her?

Threaten her with some reindeer.  Big Grin




Hahaha, I nearly did a spit-take at that... That's actually her favorite song!
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