Silly things you misunderstood about religion as a child

[Faith No More]

I never really had any silly beliefs about religion. None of it really made sense to me, because my parents raised me to realize the importance of the scientific method and never pushed Jesus on me. Religion literally played no role in our lives except for the fact that my parents took me to church every Sunday. It's really weird to think about when I read everyone else's experiences here on this forum.

[Chad32]

My friends and I tried to dig our way into hell once. We got about three feet, and got bored.

I believed Jesus and God were seperate people too. I mean he's the guy's son, and there are several instances where he acts like they're seperate people. I'm still kind of confused when people say they're the same guy, though there is a verse or two that says so.

I believed Jesus was the only person who was born of a virgin, and rose from the dead after he died. Finding out there are older stories of people like that was the final nail in the coffin of my belief. It's like if I'm going to worship a guy who was born of a virgin, started a religion, and died for our sins, I'd be worshiping Krishna. He's from an older, active religion.

I used to believe Jesus was white, and that there were people in ancient Palestine with names like John and Luke.

I also remember back when they started teaching us about metaphors, there was this poem that started off with a spider, a wasp, and a fly, then suddenly shifted to talking about believers and Adam and Eve. The metaphor being that a nonbeliever is like the helpless fly, while the believer is the wasp that has some defense, despite still being stuck in the web.

I believed that everyone believed Jesus was real. Any non believer was just someone who didn't want to follow him. Like a rebellious child not obeying their parents. The bible even says as much. It's not as settled as that, though, obviously.

[MTL]

I came home one day and found nobody home.  I ran to all the neighbor's houses, nobody was there either.  I was sure the Rapture had happened and I had been left behind.  When my Mother and brother came home from the store, I was hiding in my closet. 

Isn't it great how religion traumatizes children??!!

[abaris]

For instance, my husband told me that when he was a kid that he thought God, The lord, and Jesus were three separate people, and that Santa and God hung out in heaven.

I was exactly the same. I didn't like god, but I liked Jesus. Santa hadn't really arrived in my country when I was a child, but we had the "Christkind". Kind of a baby Jesus, but for some reason it's often depicted as a female. And it was the coolest of them all, since it brought presents.

[vorlon13]

I didn't like the restroom at church. I thought it was a sin to pee or poop in God's house.

[Shining_Finger]

I believed that there were like 12 different animals brought on Noah's Ark, and those animals evolved into other animals.

Yeah, Sunday School.

[Athene]

When I was very young, I thought the scariest-looking insects came up through the earth from Hell, particularly preying mantids....along with fire ants, spiders and ugly moths.

[MTL]

I didn't like the restroom at church.  I thought it was a sin to pee or poop in God's house.

[MTL]

When I was very young, I thought the scariest-looking insects came up through the earth from Hell, particularly preying mantids....along with fire ants, spiders and ugly moths.

You mean they actually DON'T??

I see these things in my basement, occasionally, and I'm pretty fucking sure they came from Hell:


WARNING, gross as hell and nightmare-inducing:

PS I'm not fucking kidding, these things are revolting.

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[vorlon13]

I didn't like the restroom at church.  I thought it was a sin to pee or poop in God's house.

Considering how I turned out, it is pretty funny.