I always figured god was a man in a dress.
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Silly things you misunderstood about religion as a child
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 (September 17, 2015 at 1:23 pm)BrokenQuill92 Wrote: I always figured god was a man in a dress. Oh, that reminds me of another misconception I had, as a kid. When we were very young, our parents tried telling us how powerful Jesus was. I said, "what does 'powerful' mean?" They replied: "very, very, very strong. " So my understanding of Jesus was: ![[Image: Mr-Universe-arnold-schwarzenegger-24752182-295-400.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=images5.fanpop.com%2Fimage%2Fphotos%2F24700000%2FMr-Universe-arnold-schwarzenegger-24752182-295-400.jpg)
As a kid, I imagined that there was some external "something" to religion. Missed the forest for the trees on that one.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
my image of god
![[Image: EpqrHYe.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i.imgur.com%2FEpqrHYe.jpg) (I hope the image matches what's in my head)  (September 17, 2015 at 1:35 pm)MTL Wrote: So my understanding of Jesus was: More like this, actually. ![[Image: john_lennon.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=media.salon.com%2F2013%2F12%2Fjohn_lennon.jpg)
![[Image: Bumper+Sticker+-+Asheville+-+Praise+Dog3.JPG]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=1.bp.blogspot.com%2F-d-3rfdI7nG0%2FTerwtFyFXoI%2FAAAAAAAACak%2F7kFSmHeVrng%2Fs320%2FBumper%2BSticker%2B-%2BAsheville%2B-%2BPraise%2BDog3.JPG)
Making me think about Yoko Ono right after lunch isn't pleasant . . .
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
 (September 17, 2015 at 11:05 am)Drich Wrote: That prayer is a formal wishing ceremony (where 'good Christians' get to ask God for stuff they want.)I have heard this actually. You don't pray for something you want. you pray to find out what god wants for you. It avoids the problem of praying for something you want/need, not getting it, and saying god failed you somehow.
Poe's Law: "Without a winking smiley or other blatant display of humor, it is impossible to create a parody of Fundamentalism that SOMEONE won't mistake for the real thing."
10 Christ-like figures that predate Jesus. Link shortened to Chris ate Jesus for some reason... http://listverse.com/2009/04/13/10-chris...ate-jesus/ Good video to watch, if you want to know how common the Jesus story really is. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=88GTUXvp-50 A list of biblical contradictions from the infallible word of Yahweh. http://infidels.org/library/modern/jim_m...tions.html  (September 17, 2015 at 1:16 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: I don't know where I got this, but for quite a while I thought the guardian angels were like super duper involved in watching us all the time and super busy in averting all manner of calamity. You just reminded me - I used to go to school with someone who believed in "gardening angels"...
At the age of five, Skagra decided emphatically that God did not exist. This revelation tends to make most people in the universe who have it react in one of two ways - with relief or with despair. Only Skagra responded to it by thinking, 'Wait a second. That means there's a situation vacant.'
I can't remember any really funny belief of my own. But we sent my eldest to a Lutheran Preschool and she came home with some confused ideas due to the language in the King James Bible. One afternoon she and her little sister were playing a game where she draped a over herself and chased her giggling sister. I ask what she was and she said she was the Ghost of Egypt. It took me a while to figure out that she had misunderstood "the host of Egypt." Beware the Ghost of Egypt it tickles younger siblings.
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
(September 17, 2015 at 7:02 pm)Stimbo Wrote:(September 17, 2015 at 1:16 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: I don't know where I got this, but for quite a while I thought the guardian angels were like super duper involved in watching us all the time and super busy in averting all manner of calamity. I'd like a weeding angel. 
If there is a god, I want to believe that there is a god. If there is not a god, I want to believe that there is no god.
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