How honest should parents be?

[Cato]

@OP

I agree with most of the contribution so far. We don't raise children, we raise future adults and our success can be measured in our children's ability to navigate the demands of the society they find themselves in when they leave the nest. 

Like others, I taught my kids about the ways of the world when they were ready. This usually tracks with age and associated cognitive development, but it must be catered to the individual child. I would never lie to a child, but at the same time withholding certain information is appropriate if they are not yet able to properly consider it.

[henryp]

I'm going to try and steer my kid towards a belief system that will make her happy, which I don't consider to be the truth. I see no benefit of believing the truth. Unhappy knowing the truth < happy with make believe.

[Minimalist]

They should certainly be told before they reach voting age.

[Thumpalumpacus]

In you're opinion whether you're a parent or not, how honest should parents be with their children when teaching them about life in this world?

Do you think children deserve a little chill out time not having to worry about global warming, sex, drugs, death, religion and money? 

Or just teach them everything you know right away.

Surely most people would say the best way is somewhere inbetween total insulation from the real world while at the same time not telling them all the mentally disturbing facts about the world too soon?

You do it according to their level of maturity. As they grow older they're better able to handle the unpleasant truths, but it's very important to allow them their innocence, unless you want to instill neurosis. It's also very important that you not shield them from ugly truths if they're able to process them with equanimity.

In short, both Pollyanna and Cassandra are to be avoided. Feed them truth as they are able to handle it in your judgement.

[Thumpalumpacus]

<my own snark edited>

Gawds, you're a douche, EP. Jibbers Crabst.

I agree with most everyone. You don't volunteer information they're not ready for, but don't lie to them if they're coming to you for clarification about something they heard. Socratic method is always my favorite. It's also a really phenomenal brain game to try and figure out how to lead a toddler to his or her own (age appropriate) conclusion about the questions they have.

It's better to teach by asking questions of them than spoonfeeding.

[Mermaid]

If they are old enough to ask, they are old enough to know.

[Losty]

How honest....completely honest. You can shield your children from the horrors of the world without being dishonest. Deciding when they're ready has to be based on individual basis IMO.

[Excited Penguin]

Good thing I don't much care for your dramas. If you're not able to talk sensibly, it's not my fault. I'm not going to cuddle you during a conversation, you're all adults. I'm not to be faulted for how you choose to react to my imput. Most of the times I find someone taking issue with some underlying gesture of mine, not so much with what I actually write. Well, you'll just have to comprehend my position on the matter. I'm not here to explain myself everytime a lynch mob goes after me for no reason at all.

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

I don't think I ever recall a time when either of my parents sat me down and said something like, 'Kiddo, it's time you learned about global warming.' But when I had questions about anything, they were as honest about the subject as they felt I could grasp.

I don't precisely recall what I age I was, but let's call it seven. I overheard on the news (Da always had the news on of an evening), 'A Portadown man has been charged with rape.' I asked my father, 'What's "rape" mean, Da?' With fluster or embarrassment or trying to talk round it, he said, 'Rape is having sex with a woman by force and without her permission.' Growing up on a farm, I already knew what he meant by 'sex'.

Dozens of instances like that come to mind. My parents had seven children, and were always happy and willing to explain things we didn't understand in terms that we could.

Boru

[Cato]

Good thing I don't much care for your dramas. If you're not able to talk sensibly, it's not my fault. I'm not going to cuddle you during a conversation, you're all adults. I'm not to be faulted for how you choose to react to my imput. Most of the times I find someone taking issue with some underlying gesture of mine, not so much with what I actually write. Well, you'll just have to comprehend my position on the matter. I'm not here to explain myself everytime a lynch mob goes after me for no reason at all.

What a load of shit. I took your stupid statistical parental advice directly to task, no underlying meaning, no confusion about what you wrote. Your hubris is amusing because of how consistently misplaced it is.