How honest should parents be?

[Thumpalumpacus]

One more thing though. Parents are meant to take care for and introduce apt members of society. It concerns all of us. If you're not ready to accept that, you should use a fucking condom.

Pity you weren't around to lecture your own.

[Ravenshire]

No, fuck that.

One does not need the direct experience with children to know or understand how they should be raised.

After all, we were all once children ourselves, and it is entirely and logically applicable for those without children to be capable of making suggestions toward being raised how they should have been raised.

Raising children based solely on your experiences as a child is like teaching guitar based on your first fumblings on the instrument. The fact is that parenting is an enormous responsibility, and if you haven't experienced it, feel free to offer your advice, but don't for a moment think you're in a position to lecture actual parents who've successfully raised children, which is the dynamic in play here.

Not all opinions are equal. The idea that they are, or should be, is asinine and to be deprecated.

As for your comment about a "gang attack", bear in mind that poking a wasp's nest isn't only going to fetch up one wasp on you. You come into a thread acting like a know-it-all even when you have not one iota of experience on the subject at hand, and then proceed to talk down to folks who have many years of experience, well, yeah, you're gonna take hits, and not from an assigned respondent.

Perhaps this experience will teach him to be more thoughtful -- but I won't lie, I seriously doubt it.

OMG. Couldn't say it better myself, even if I were sober!

[Ravenshire]

EP, please find reason here to rage quit, again. No one will miss you.

[Thumpalumpacus]

And yes, sometimes it may happen that you let them play somewhere where no one keeps an eye on what's happening, which you shouldn't do to begin with to avoid those kinds of situations [...]

Yes, and ...

[...] Parents can be overprotective and that can fuck someone up really bad, as well as making the problem they were trying to solve substantially worse in the long-run.

You're clearly trying to have it both ways. Further, what you clearly don't understand is that the job of the parent doesn't solely consist of protecting the child. It also consists of teaching that child how to safely navigate the world on his own. That can't be done by suddenly turning them loose at sixteen without having mentioned to them the dangers of drug use or unsafe sex; that can't be done by wrapping them in bubble-wrap and locking them in their room; that can't be done by sheltering them from knowledge of danger.

That can only be done by forewarning them of danger so that on the offchance they find themselves in that corner, you've improved their odds.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I do not have kids, I am a gay male who has never had sex with a woman my entire thirty-six years on this planet, and I can state with certainty that I can certainly give any parent out there advice on how to raise a child.

Hell, I am not asking for you to follow my advice or even to recognize it.

All I ask is that it is possible for one who has never raised a child to be capable of giving advice on how to raise one.

It is possible.

If you think otherwise, you have lost your senses.

Well, sure. Just remember, talk is cheap. Anyone can give advice, especially when they'll never have to test it on their own children.

[Excited Penguin]

Raising children based solely on your experiences as a child is like teaching guitar based on your first fumblings on the instrument. The fact is that parenting is an enormous responsibility, and if you haven't experienced it, feel free to offer your advice, but don't for a moment think you're in a position to lecture actual parents who've successfully raised children, which is the dynamic in play here.

You start off with a false analogy, then you imply that you claim that you and others here have successfully raised children despite not pointing out what you mean by that. They didn't die under your care? Well, congratulations, but that's not all there is to being a successful parent.

Not all opinions are equal. The idea that they are, or should be, is asinine and to be deprecated.

Useless statement. I don't think anyone said otherwise and it doesn't concern anything.

As for your comment about a "gang attack", bear in mind that poking a wasp's nest isn't only going to fetch up one wasp on you. You come into a thread acting like a know-it-all even when you have not one iota of experience on the subject at hand, and then proceed to talk down to folks who have many years of experience, well, yeah, you're gonna take hits, and not from an assigned respondent.

What gave you the impression I acted like a know-it-all? Give me actual quotes. I was merely making a suggestion and someone went crazy on me. While it's true I have no experience actually raising any children I perceived a mistake on her part based on what my own mother did with me. 

Perhaps this experience will teach him to be more thoughtful -- but I won't lie, I seriously doubt it.

Which experience are you refering to? If anything, you've only tried to silence me and didn't actually address anything I actually said. If you want me to learn the lesson that I should submit to bullying, I didn't and never will.

[Excited Penguin]

And yes, sometimes it may happen that you let them play somewhere where no one keeps an eye on what's happening, which you shouldn't do to begin with to avoid those kinds of situations [...]

Yes, and ...

[...] Parents can be overprotective and that can fuck someone up really bad, as well as making the problem they were trying to solve substantially worse in the long-run.

You're clearly trying to have it both ways. Further, what you clearly don't understand is that the job of the parent doesn't solely consist of protecting the child.  It also consists of teaching that child how to safely navigate the world on his own.  That can't be done by suddenly turning them loose at sixteen without having mentioned to them the dangers of drug use or unsafe sex; that can't be done by wrapping them in bubble-wrap and locking them in their room; that can't be done by sheltering them from knowledge of danger.

That can only be done by forewarning them of danger so that on the offchance they find themselves in that corner, you've improved their odds.

You would do well to give future adults more credit than that. You can't really be that much of an influence on a kid, no matter how hard you may try. A person is far more shaped by his culture than his parents could possibly ever affect him. There's a reason teenagers are rebels by nature.

[Excited Penguin]

I will admit I can be perceived as ambivalent and I would do well to further explain some points so as to stop giving that impression. I'm not very encouraged to do so, however, for very understandable reasons - you guys can be get pretty fucking crazy on me, and I'm glad that finally someone else noticed it as well.

[Losty]

I still think you're a troll.

[Ravenshire]

Yes, and ...


You're clearly trying to have it both ways. Further, what you clearly don't understand is that the job of the parent doesn't solely consist of protecting the child.  It also consists of teaching that child how to safely navigate the world on his own.  That can't be done by suddenly turning them loose at sixteen without having mentioned to them the dangers of drug use or unsafe sex; that can't be done by wrapping them in bubble-wrap and locking them in their room; that can't be done by sheltering them from knowledge of danger.

That can only be done by forewarning them of danger so that on the offchance they find themselves in that corner, you've improved their odds.

You would do well to give future adults more credit than that. You can't really be that much of an influence on a kid, no matter how hard you may try. A person is far more shaped by his culture than his parents could possibly ever affect him. There's a reason teenagers are rebels by nature.

Spoken like a true "never been a parent."