Is it wrong?

[The Grand Nudger]

Is it wrong that I am not moved by death?

I feel nothing when I learn about the death of another.

I'd hesitate to make that statement, as you don't know how binding it would be going forward.  I've seen many people die, I've been the direct cause some of it.  I felt no remorse, no pity, and I have no regrets -about my action specifically or their deaths-.  So..if my entire experience of death were limited to my experience in that regard..I'd probably say the same thing.  That it did not and does not move me.  

However, I bawled like a baby when my step-father died....despite not having seen the man in 15 years, and having a mutually frigid relationship with him when we last spoke.  I handled his end of life expenses and arrangements...as his family sneered at me. Perhaps, and obviously I hope to lay this in the kindest possible manner...the right people haven't died..in your life, yet. I wouldn't call you strange (or wrong) for failing to emotionally invest in the deaths of those to which you are not emotionally invested. Do you have a mother, brothers...sisters...a father? Consider those eventualities and decide whether or not your current statements would hold.

But maybe I'm talking out of my ass in your case, what do you think?

[Thumpalumpacus]

just don't hurt other people with your attitude.

Grow the fuck up.

I cannot hurt anyone with my attitude.

If I have had to learn to deal with the bullshit you and everyone else daily send my way, then certainly you can deal with a little negativity.  

I.E., grow the fuck up, or grow a fucking backbone.

Get over yourself, Cupcake. Your attitude can hurt others whether you know it, or more likely, not. You have loved ones who value your opinions, feelings, and insights, right? How do you think your apathy affects them in times of crisis?

If you don't have empathy, okay, no problem, like I said -- follow the law and don't harm others, it's all good. But if you don't have empathy, shut the fuck up about your daily hurts. Who are you to complain about being hurt when you can't be bothered to empathize with those who are hurting? Like any other emotional exchange, it's a two-way street. Fail to meet your end of the bargain? Then don't expect others to care about you or your precious little feelings.

You'll either learn that, or you'll die alone. It's your choice.

[Thumpalumpacus]

I don't think you are a psychopath, but your behavior and lack of empathy might be a sign of sociopathy

Again I would have to point out that they asked the question in the first place, it's uncharacteristic behavior.

Generally speaking, when I see someone espouse both a cool, detached apathy and cry out for the world to stop hurting his feelings, I assume that the former is the mask and the latter is the real person.

I would assume such a person wouldn't question their own disregard for human life and especially wouldn't care to ask others for their thoughts, as they wouldn't care about their opinions to begin with, or they would pose the question in a much more vulgar tone with the express intention to offend people.

They also may be wishing to project an image for other reasons, such as self-esteem, group approval, or emotional armor.

[The Grand Nudger]

Personally, I'd worry more about the mental health of people who can't pick up a newspaper without crumbling over the obituaries (as they might, if, for example, one belonged their mother).  That, to me, would indicate a problem. That would seem strange. We're made of tougher shit than that, we've been dealing with death for far too long for that to be an appropriate or well adjusted response.

[MTL]

Personally, I'd worry more about the mental health of people who can't pick up a newspaper without crumbling over the obituaries (as they might, if, for example, one belonged their mother).  That, to me, would indicate a problem.  That would seem strange.  We're made of tougher shit than that, we've been dealing with death for far too long for that to be an appropriate or well adjusted response.

Yes, and even an Empathetic person can choose  to be detached if needs must, at least sometimes.

It is also worth noting that while many people, even those with a relatively normal degree of Empathy,
just shake their head over mass shootings in the news, and then move on with their day;

one story over another might move you to tears,
and you might not even necessarily know why;

(And I can also bawl my eyes out over a tearjerker of a movie,
even if I know it is 100% fiction).

I have to steel myself, quite deliberately, over stories of animal cruelty, for example.

I CAN do it, but it takes a conscious decision;
and I only do so out of necessity
...when I am obliged to stay focused on something urgent.

Also:  I feel oddly guilty when I do so, as well
...as if, by allowing myself to feel grief,
I share in and somehow diminish the animal's suffering

...which, of course, is nonsense.

I think that stems from the same social instinct that makes people feel OBLIGED to "not give up" on someone,
or to hold out "hope" for a missing person for a protracted period of time,
as opposed to simply WANTING for things to work out;

somehow we feel guilty for giving up hope,
even though holding out hope for an extended period of time can be exhausting
...as if we think by giving up hope,
we are somehow withdrawing the only support the missing person might have, or something.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Indeed, our apathy or empathy seems to be metered by the distance we have to the subjects of the hurt. There's nothing wrong with not feeling everyone's pain -- we'd be immobilized if we did that.

As with everything, there's a medium between the extremes which allows us to both soldier through the day and reach out to those who are hurting.

[Catholic_Lady]

You must know that happens, Kitan. It's how people often protect themselves, when they've seen or experienced too much. And it's not always a deliberate act. 

People who don't know me well, often perceive me as cold and indifferent in regards to death. I've even held that perception of myself, at times. For the most part, I only feel sincere emotional distress when I have a personal attachment to the person(s) involved, and even then it's not always obvious to others. The primary reason for this is that I've witnessed many deaths by vocation, many of them being quite horrific.

Everybody's different I guess. I've had people basically die under my hands and seen disfigured corpses, and somehow I still don't cheer on mass murderers to kill some more, like some thread starters do. Maybe that means that *I* am the psychopath? That must be it.

I somehow missed this thread. Sounds pretty messed up.

[The Grand Nudger]

Well, you know..

---

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M2DafHjZDtg

---

[Athene]

Everybody's different I guess. I've had people basically die under my hands and seen disfigured corpses, and somehow I still don't cheer on mass murderers to kill some more, like some thread starters do. Maybe that means that *I* am the psychopath? That must be it.

I somehow missed this thread. Sounds pretty messed up.

For more complete context:
http://atheistforums.org/thread-40795-po...pid1169662
http://atheistforums.org/thread-40795-po...pid1169686
http://atheistforums.org/thread-40795-po...pid1169721

[Catholic_Lady]

^Thanks Thena.