Happiness level after embracing atheism

[Ravenshire]

I'm disappointed, I thought you were better than that Lek.

That was like telling someone who poured their heart out at AA to "just have another drink", and waving a bottle in front of them.

He's no better than Drippy. He just hides it better.

[KevinM1]

I'm disappointed, I thought you were better than that Lek.

That was like telling someone who poured their heart out at AA to "just have another drink", and waving a bottle in front of them.

I'm honestly not surprised.  The #1 goal of religion is to spread at any cost that doesn't incur undue risk to the organization itself.  People's feelings, doubts, and fears are merely tools to be exploited to accomplish that goal.

[God of Mr. Hanky]

Much more at peace with the inevitability of mortality, and being who I am. No longer living in terror of unseen judges, devils, and demons. But seeing the real monsters for what they are makes peace in society, which they despise, difficult.

[drfuzzy]

---

 Honestly, I struggle.  I cannot honestly say I am happier.  I am more mindful, and more aware, and more open to new information.  I feel like I am able to understand many things more fully, but this actually leads me to quite a bit more suffering.  Back when I could pass everything off as Gods plan, I could grieve with an odd sense of joy underlining it (kind of sick, looking back).  But now, I just grieve....like, for everything.  There is this strange duality to the world I never knew before.  I feel wonder and awe and joy at life, the universe, and everything.  I sing and dance, kiss and hug my family, laugh and cry with joy. But underneath it I have this constant sense of grief that it is all temporary and, in the grandest scheme of things, kind of meaningless. (I know theists will attack this, and I know that many atheists do not experience these, but I do.)  I think if I had been raised without religion, I would not have these issues, this is all a result of me having to learn how to discard the illusions of religion and the false crutches of prayer and magic, and accept reality.

I'm doing things in an attempt to overcome all of this.  I've started Dialectical behavior therapy, which focuses on mindfulness and radical acceptance, something I actually feel is helping.  I've delved into reading the Tao (not the spiritual mumbo jumbo, but more of the philosophy of acceptance, living in the now, and meditation to supplement the therapy).

I am still very anxious and have dark moods, but I am able to embrace them, accept things, and move on more quickly now.  Still, every day is a struggle. Growing up in a deeply religious household, going to a private Catholic school for so long, I was never given any real tools to deal with the real world.  Prayer, or giving things up to god, are clearly pretty effing useless now that I know that is all BS.  So I feel a bit like I've been dumped in an ocean without ever having been taught to swim.

I have always been an extremely empathetic person, but now all the pain I feel when I see or imagine the suffering of others is harder to channel.  I cannot participate in a lot of things because I find them emotionally overwhelming.

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In the end, I am still glad to have shed the fairy tale, but embracing reality is really a chore for me, sometimes. 

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 Sounds like you may be clinically depressed, but did you ever stop to think that it may be the catholic church, and not Christ and christianity, that was the cause of your problems?  

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Why do you have to go to therapy to be able to accept an atheistic world?  Maybe it's because the world really is meaningless without God.

Wow, what an asshole.

[robvalue]

I am still genuinely puzzled by this idea of "meaning" to life, and how religion is supposed to give it meaning.

It appears to reduce this life to some sort of test, which is of zero relative length and happiness compared to "the next life". Like this is something to be got through, before the good bit starts. Some crappy trailers before the main film.

I've never been under, so it's hard for me to understand. It would seem that realizing this is in fact all there is would add a sense of urgency and value like never before. If anyone can help me understand this, I'd be grateful. I've heard "no meaning without god", but what meaning is there with god? I'd find this life to be pretty meaningless actually, if I found out it was a constructed test just to see if I'd believe a load of nonsense or not.

I suppose I can see that if you are still unhappy, you no longer have the consolation that there's something better round the corner if you grin and bear it. But it seems eerily similar to the idea of being drunk, and not being fully present in life anyway.

[Aroura]

Honestly, I struggle.  I cannot honestly say I am happier.  I am more mindful, and more aware, and more open to new information.  I feel like I am able to understand many things more fully, but this actually leads me to quite a bit more suffering.  Back when I could pass everything off as Gods plan, I could grieve with an odd sense of joy underlining it (kind of sick, looking back).  But now, I just grieve....like, for everything.  There is this strange duality to the world I never knew before.  I feel wonder and awe and joy at life, the universe, and everything.  I sing and dance, kiss and hug my family, laugh and cry with joy. But underneath it I have this constant sense of grief that it is all temporary and, in the grandest scheme of things, kind of meaningless. (I know theists will attack this, and I know that many atheists do not experience these, but I do.)  I think if I had been raised without religion, I would not have these issues, this is all a result of me having to learn how to discard the illusions of religion and the false crutches of prayer and magic, and accept reality.

I'm doing things in an attempt to overcome all of this.  I've started Dialectical behavior therapy, which focuses on mindfulness and radical acceptance, something I actually feel is helping.  I've delved into reading the Tao (not the spiritual mumbo jumbo, but more of the philosophy of acceptance, living in the now, and meditation to supplement the therapy).

I am still very anxious and have dark moods, but I am able to embrace them, accept things, and move on more quickly now.  Still, every day is a struggle. Growing up in a deeply religious household, going to a private Catholic school for so long, I was never given any real tools to deal with the real world.  Prayer, or giving things up to god, are clearly pretty effing useless now that I know that is all BS.  So I feel a bit like I've been dumped in an ocean without ever having been taught to swim.

I have always been an extremely empathetic person, but now all the pain I feel when I see or imagine the suffering of others is harder to channel.  I cannot participate in a lot of things because I find them emotionally overwhelming.

In the end, I am still glad to have shed the fairy tale, but embracing reality is really a chore for me, sometimes.

Sounds like you may be clinically depressed, but did you ever stop to think that it may be the catholic church, and not Christ and christianity, that was the cause of your problems?  Why do you have to go to therapy to be able to accept an atheistic world?  Maybe it's because the world really is meaningless without God.

No, I really loved the church quite a lot, actually!

Lots of Christians have to go to therapy to accept a world WITH a belief in God, so I am not different in that respect.  Thanks for your armchair diagnosis, Freud, but I have a real diagnosis and it isn't clinical depression.  I am overly empathetic, and always have been.

And yeah, it IS meaningless....we have to inject our own meaning.  You can do that with your fairy tale if that is what keeps you from running out and committing crimes or whatever.  I'm doing it with charity work, volunteering, and my family. If there was a god, it would not, now that I think about it from outside the box, make everything suddenly meaningful.  

Letting go of fairy tales is really hard.  Growing up is REALLY hard, particularly if you are not taught how to be one by the "adults".  
It is just that most people are never able to actually let go of their fairy tales, and accept reality. Like you.   I find that a depressing...most of humanity spend their lives like infants with a security blanket, that have a temper tantrum every time anyone tries to take it away.  

[robvalue]

I'm very sorry to hear you're depressed, I've been struggling with it too for many years. I hope talking about it here will help a little.

PS: I also have hugely overactive empathy. It makes me who I am, but I have way more than is practically useful. It doesn't take much to reduce me to tears. So I can... empathise with your empathy!

[Ravenshire]

I am still genuinely puzzled by this idea of "meaning" to life, and how religion is supposed to give it meaning.

It's an excuse made by the emotionally crippled.

[Aegon]

My life was never centered around religion, so leaving Catholicism was a pretty small part of my life. It has no real effect on my psyche because, even though I claim to be an agnostic, it's pretty much fact in my mind that there's no God. Even if I wanted to believe, I wouldn't be able to bring myself to. It just makes so little sense to me now. There being no God or afterlife doesn't bother me. In fact it actually makes life better IMO. If my entire complex existence was all just a test to see if I could get into heaven, that would make everything I do seem trivial. Why not just give my life up to a monastery? What's the point in anything? If I follow the idea that I am my own person not being judged by some supreme being and this is my only life and I need to make it worth it, then that adds so much more value to life. That's how I see it anyway.

That being said, I have struggled with depression in the past, but it was not at all related to whether or not I believed in God. The thought never crossed my mind. It was really a problem with living life itself.

[Aroura]

I'm very sorry to hear you're depressed, I've been struggling with it too for many years. I hope talking about it here will help a little.

PS: I also have hugely overactive empathy. It makes me who I am, but I have way more than is practically useful. It doesn't take much to reduce me to tears. So I can... empathise with your empathy!

Thanks rob! : It does help to talk about it.  It felt great to write that big post, and talk about how I feel. It is hard to pretend to be upbeat all of the time!
I'm the same way. I cry at the drop of a hat.  I know there are many people out there with lots more empathy than is actually useful, I guess we balance out the sociopaths?  lol.