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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
What to do when they knock on your door.

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What to do when they knock on your door.
The Valkyrie Offline
The last smile some will see...
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#21
RE: What to do when they knock on your door.
February 17, 2016 at 9:54 pm
Ask them if they're virgins and, if they are, invite them to participate in a special ceremony honouring the Dark One.

Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:

"You did WHAT?  With WHO?  WHERE???"
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Jackalope Away
Elon Musk owes me money
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#22
RE: What to do when they knock on your door.
February 17, 2016 at 10:38 pm
Release the hounds!
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Jackalope Away
Elon Musk owes me money
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#23
RE: What to do when they knock on your door.
February 17, 2016 at 10:43 pm
If you're serious about getting them off your porch....



If you're not quite as serious....




I had some unknown denom show up at my door, as soon as I saw they were toting bibles, I interrupted and said "Not interested" and closed the door. The whole apartment complex has "no soliciting" signs on every entrance.

That doesn't stop some of the special little snowflakes - cable/satellite/phone companies don't seem to think they're bound by it, nor the local ripoff furniture/appliance rental place.
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lisah Offline
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#24
RE: What to do when they knock on your door.
February 17, 2016 at 10:47 pm
(February 17, 2016 at 6:47 pm)Mancunian Wrote: Do you engage them in conversation?
Do you hide?
Are you polite?
Do you flick through Watchtower after they have gone?
I am asking because they came here today, I was snapping one off at the time, they kept knocking.
The best sight in the world is the back of a witness walking away.

Normally, my husband would have a short talk with them. Then one day they came up to the door and the dogs began barking like crazy. Not knowing anyone was at the door, my husband yelled, "God damn it, shut the fuck up."

They walked away and we haven't seen them sense.
"My imagination makes me human and makes me a fool; it gives me all the world and exiles me from it."

Ursula K. Le Guin
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drfuzzy Offline
logic padawan
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#25
RE: What to do when they knock on your door.
February 17, 2016 at 10:47 pm
(February 17, 2016 at 8:07 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: Why don't the Moonies door knock any more ?

What? Are there still Moonies?
"The family that prays together...is brainwashing their children."- Albert Einstein
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Aroura Offline
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#26
RE: What to do when they knock on your door.
February 17, 2016 at 10:51 pm
I want a sign that says "No solicitations, unless you have Girl Scout Cookies". If witnesses knocked, I would simply inquire if they have Girl scout cookies, and point to my sign.

Currently, I just politely say no thank you, and shut the door.
“Eternity is a terrible thought. I mean, where's it going to end?” 
― Tom Stoppard, Rosencrantz and Guildenstern Are Dead
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MTL Offline
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#27
RE: What to do when they knock on your door.
February 17, 2016 at 11:10 pm
(February 17, 2016 at 10:38 pm)Cthulhu Dreaming Wrote: Release the hounds!

Oh screw the hounds.   Release the Kraken.
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vorlon13 Offline
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#28
RE: What to do when they knock on your door.
February 17, 2016 at 11:16 pm
[Image: Hello.gif]
 The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it. 




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Edwardo Piet Away
Devil's Supercardo.
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#29
RE: What to do when they knock on your door.
February 17, 2016 at 11:16 pm
Epic GIF.
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Redbeard The Pink Offline
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#30
RE: What to do when they knock on your door.
February 18, 2016 at 12:19 am
This actually happened to me just last year with some Jehovah's Witnesses. I think they used to visit a lady that used to live in my apartment. I informed them at the door that I'm an atheist, and they posited that I perhaps just didn't understand the Bible properly.


At that, I politely invited them in, sat them down on my couch, and proceeded to drag out all the parts of the Bible that they don't know about and/or don't like to talk about because there's no good answer for them. They floundered around for a bit before thanking me for my time and scooting out the door with their tails tucked.


I can still picture the desperate prayers they must have been uttering as they rolled out of my complex.
Verbatim from the mouth of Jesus (retranslated from a retranslation of a copy of a copy):

"Do not judge, or you too will be judged. For in the same way you judge others, you too will be judged, and with the measure you use, it will be measured to you. How can you see your brother's head up his ass when your own vision is darkened by your head being even further up your ass? How can you say to your brother, 'Get your head out of your ass,' when all the time your head is up your own ass? You hypocrite! First take your head out of your own ass, and then you will see clearly who has his head up his ass and who doesn't." Matthew 7:1-5 (also Luke 6: 41-42)

Also, I has a website: www.RedbeardThePink.com
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Atheist Forums › Discussion › Off Topic v
What to do when they knock on your door.

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