What to do when they knock on your door.

[TheRealJoeFish]

You could try this

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wnO_f5bpwF0

[The Valkyrie]

Good bird!

[Clueless Morgan]

"No thanks, this household is atheistic."

Never had a Witness at my door, and the only time the Mormons came by I wasn't home when they knocked and they didn't seem in the mood to talk when they walked past and I said hi so whatever.

[MTL]

I have a sign by my door that says "No Soliciting". 
My neighborhood is pretty good.  Folks call the police on religious groups. (ha!)  Some get through.  I usually tell them that I'm not interested.  If they persist, I'll tell them something, depending on how pleasant they seem.  Good = "I'm an organist at a Catholic Church, but thanks for your time."  Pushy: "I'm a Druid, I pray to trees and cast spells.  Have a nice day."  (I never, ever say "atheist". That's just like waving a red cape at a bull. No thanks.)
       But there was this one guy who wouldn't stop.  He ignored me when I pointed out the "No Soliciting" sign, and told him that this also applied to religious "witnessing".  He just got louder, he was obnoxious. He had his (probably 3-year-old) son with him.  So when he paused for breath, I said "Preacher, huh.  I see you brought your little fuck-buddy with you.  How nice for you."  As he gasped and took a step back, I pulled the shotgun out from behind the door and screamed, "Get the hell off of my property, baby raper."  I barely managed to keep a straight face when he grabbed the boy and RAN down my driveway.  

Yes, I channeled my mother.  It was totally worth it.  

It is bad enough when door-to-door salespeople are pushy,
but at least they're supposedly offering actual goods or services;
...as opposed to fairytale gobbledegook.

I don't even agree with the practice of door-to-door....it's very 1950s;

people abuse it to strongarm, con, or downright rob or attack people, anyway;
especially the elderly that are too nice to say "no"
or too trusting, or too slow-witted.

I think it should be banned except for very select purposes.

But I get incensed with people who walk onto MY property,
calling me away from whatever I'm doing,
and expect me to give even one second of MY time....

....only to be recipient to a pile of nonsense.

To me, that is an abuse of "religious freedom",
and it's part of the reason I am Anti-Theist.

It is highly exemplary of the entitled attitude of Theism:

" If I am not allowed to step onto your property, interrupt your day,
take up your time....and all just to pitch you a fairytale....

....then my religious freedom is being trodden-upon."



(Fortunately one day they showed up when I was busy trying to assemble an outfit for an upcoming fetish event.

No joke.

I answered the door looking like a dominatrix.

I didn't have to say much of anything;

They just kinda drifted away).

[Minimalist]

By the time I get to the door they are usually leaving.

[brewer]

We are far enough out that we only get the neighborhood kids selling shit for school. I can never turn them down.

Back in the day, and if I was stoned, I used to invite them in and fuck with them a little.

[Regina]

We had some persistent ones once, couldn't tell what religion. They were banging on the door for ages, turning the handle trying to get in.

We'd already seen them do what was coming next at another house across the street. We went into the back room where they couldn't see us through the window.

[The Valkyrie]

We had some persistent ones once, couldn't tell what religion. They were banging on the door for ages, turning the handle trying to get in.

We'd already seen them do what was coming next at another house across the street. We went into the back room where they couldn't see us through the window.

Fuck.  Trying the door handles?

I'd have called the cops.

[The Valkyrie]

I had one of them in the car park on Monday with an armful of Watchtower propaganda.

Ignored him.

[Ravenshire]

We had some persistent ones once, couldn't tell what religion. They were banging on the door for ages, turning the handle trying to get in.

We'd already seen them do what was coming next at another house across the street. We went into the back room where they couldn't see us through the window.

Fuck.  Trying the door handles?

I'd have called the cops.

We normally leave the door unlocked during the day. If I know they're coming, I think I'll ignore them until they commit illegal entry get it on video, press charges and after their sentencing, post it to youtube.

Yeah, I can be vindictive.