Coming out as Atheist

[ScienceAf]

Threatening to cancel your music lessons and saying that she doesn't like you any more is very childish, but you on the other hand seem very mature about it - parents are only human, give her time. Hopefully she'll realize that you haven't changed.

Okay. And thank you and you all!

[RozKek]

I see many have already helped you however I'll still add my two cents in short.

I was pretty much in the same boat as you. I found no evidence and left islam and god all together when I was 14 but started thinking about it and researching it at 12 so I know how it can be, if anything is bothering you, talk to me. It's good that you're in America, being an atheist there is much safer compared to a middle eastern country and you'll probably stumble upon other atheists which can be a fun experience.

Keep in mind that in islam Allah himself said it's only up to him to judge, not your parents and that will be relevant to them. Important to know is according to islam there are no families in jannah (heaven). But I don't know if the last part is good to tell them 
Tell them that the only reason you were a muslim from the beginning was because of your parents not because you thought for yourself, and now that you've thoroughly thought about it you've decided that you don't believe in a god.

Be careful with friends, there are some dumb nuts that can't think for themselves and don't respect other people, from what I've seen that strongly correlates with failure so let life take care of them. But don't avoid people because of their religion, there are plenty of awesome muslims, christians and jews etc as there are atheists.

Anyway, it is quite damn awesome of you to leave islam and think for yourself, based on my experience skeptical people, especially at a young age like yours that question everything are usually the logical and intelligent ones.

Also if you stumble upon some islamic sites, people or videos talking about how there is evidence for islam and you're mildly convinced, you come to me, remember that.

Goodluck, hope everything goes well.

[I_am_not_mafia]

It's also helpful to understand your parent's position in this. They'll still be deluded about religion and won't have asked the same questions that you have. They probably don't want to. And because they love you they'll be worried about your future. Therefore they might well try to set you on the right path again (in their eyes) and not understand why it won't work.

It's very easy for this to escalate and for both sides to end up shouting at each other. It's best not to let it escalate to begin with. So try to stay calm when you feel pressure on you to be religious or they try to emotionally blackmail you. Don't give them an excuse to blame your atheism on something else otherwise it will be very easy for them to assume that you are just wanting to be rebellious or naughty and this will shape their responses to you.

I've personally found that when I am asking difficult questions that the other person cannot answer and they are getting stressed, then that's perfect opportunity to become more calm myself.

It will be a lot easier if you make it all about the flaws in what you are being taught rather than about yourself. This puts the onus on them to convince you, not on you to change yourself to what they want.

Remember, it's OK not to know or to not have the answers available immediately. Many religious arguments are deceitful or disingenuous and it can take a while to see the flaw in them. This comes with practice. What is important is that you keep a questioning and curious mind that wants to learn more.

Also remember that the more you pick away at things, the more religious teachings show themselves to be nonsensical. And there is a whole wealth of knowledge at your disposal with the internet now.

[brewer]

Welcome.

I afraid I won't be much help. At 12 I couldn't be bothered with religion. I didn't understand it, didn't care and just jumped through the hoops.

[Athene]

Hello, young atheist! 
How wonderful it is to have your whole life ahead of you. You seem quite sharp; I'm sure many exciting possibilities lie ahead for you. 

It is very, very important in life to know when to speak your mind, and when to to keep your mouth shut. There will be times for both. Watch and observe, consider and weigh possible outcomes, and choose your battles wisely.

[Whateverist]

Ditto the advice you've been given already and welcome to the forums.

[ScienceAf]

I see many have already helped you however I'll still add my two cents in short.

I was pretty much in the same boat as you. I found no evidence and left islam and god all together when I was 14 but started thinking about it and researching it at 12 so I know how it can be, if anything is bothering you, talk to me. It's good that you're in America, being an atheist there is much safer compared to a middle eastern country and you'll probably stumble upon other atheists which can be a fun experience.

Keep in mind that in islam Allah himself said it's only up to him to judge, not your parents and that will be relevant to them. Important to know is according to islam there are no families in jannah (heaven). But I don't know if the last part is good to tell them 
Tell them that the only reason you were a muslim from the beginning was because of your parents not because you thought for yourself, and now that you've thoroughly thought about it you've decided that you don't believe in a god.

Be careful with friends, there are some dumb nuts that can't think for themselves and don't respect other people, from what I've seen that strongly correlates with failure so let life take care of them. But don't avoid people because of their religion, there are plenty of awesome muslims, christians and jews etc as there are atheists.

Anyway, it is quite damn awesome of you to leave islam and think for yourself, based on my experience skeptical people, especially at a young age like yours that question everything are usually the logical and intelligent ones.

Also if you stumble upon some islamic sites, people or videos talking about how there is evidence for islam and you're mildly convinced, you come to me, remember that.

Goodluck, hope everything goes well.

Woah, this is some really great advice. Thank You.
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[pocaracas]

Welcome aboard!

Being 12, you're a bit dependent on your parents... And your mom doesn't seem thrilled to hear about your non-belief.
She's prepared a session of brain washing with other people... Good luck with that! You're young...too young... You may fall for their tricks, or not.
Argument from ignorance (how can you explain this if not with good?) is a favorite technique...known to be fallacious reasoning, but they'll dress it up to sound "logical". And they may use logical arguments than seem solid...except for a couple of premises that make you go "not necessarily".

Keep in mind that no one knows anything about the divine...they merely "believe" in it. Luckily, the clue is in the title: believe.
The requirement of belief itself is the most damming thing for religions...and yet, people fail to grasp this detail... :/

Check this

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At the end of the day, it may be better for you to pretend to accept it while you're living under her roof...
Your call.

[Bob Kelso]

Welcome!

You know your situation better than anyone here. I'm glad you're in America where it's not terribly dangerous to be an apostate, but please be careful. A lot of young people have to choose to just bide their time until they go to college or move out of the house. If you think your parents would punish you in some way that is unbearable, then it might be better to just play the part.

Remember, they cannot make you believe anything. They can make you go to Mosque, they can make you pray, they can make you attend extra religious teaching. But they cannot force you to believe. No one can. If you have done a lot of thinking and research and learning and the evidence points to Allah not existing, then that is what you are convinced of. Keep learning, keep reading and exploring, and get good grades so you can go to college and become your own person.

A wonderful thing about being a freethinker is that there is no skin off your back by playing the game while it is prudent to do so. I hope you stick around! We don't get a lot of ex-Muslims on the boards, and we'd love to hear your opinions on things!

*my emphasis*

Came here to say something similar. Pride in who you are is a helluva thing to swallow sometimes, but if it's in your best interest then keep your wits about you and think it through.

[ScienceAf]

Welcome aboard!

Being 12, you're a bit dependent on your parents... And your mom doesn't seem thrilled to hear about your non-belief.
She's prepared a session of brain washing with other people... Good luck with that! You're young...too young... You may fall for their tricks, or not.
Argument from ignorance (how can you explain this if not with good?) is a favorite technique...known to be fallacious reasoning, but they'll dress it up to sound "logical". And they may use logical arguments than seem solid...except for a couple of premises that make you go "not necessarily".

Keep in mind that no one knows anything about the divine...they merely "believe" in it. Luckily, the clue is in the title: believe.
The requirement of belief itself is the most damming thing for religions...and yet, people fail to grasp this detail... :/

Check this

---

---

At the end of the day, it may be better for you to pretend to accept it while you're living under her roof...
Your call.

Don't worry, my parents suck at logic and I'll express myself for who I am no matter what they say.
Save