Boundaries (or 'My Latest Exercise in Anger Management')

[BrianSoddingBoru4]

As you lot may or may not be aware, I lost an eye at 17.  Because of associated damage to the orbital socket, glassies are not an option, so I wear an eyepatch.

Ellen and I were out for our usual Sunday breakfast a couple of hours ago.  A man approaches our table, very politely says, 'Sorry to interrupt your meal, but may I take a moment of your time?'  The missus and I are naturally gregarious people, so we invited him to sit, which is when it all went pear-shaped.

He sat down, and without further ado, hands me his card and says, 'I'm an ophthalmic surgeon, and I've like to have a look under that patch,' then reaches out as if he's going to remove my eyepatch!  I leaned back, he pulled his hand back and said, 'What's wrong?  I told you that I'm a doctor.'  I told him, 'You're not my doctor, are you? Who the hell do you think you are?'

He looked seriously nonplussed and said, 'I don't understand.  Won't take a minute,' and I replied, 'Let me help you understand.  Your asking is inappropriate, unprofessional, and it would be in your best interests to go back to your own table right away.' He got up and walked away muttering something I couldn't quite catch, but sounded a lot like 'rude bugger'. Please note that I wasn't going to hit him, never really thought about hitting him (but since, I've had visions of how he'd look with my coffee mug smashed across the bridge of his nose).  Through all this, Ellen was sitting with her mouth open, too shocked to speak - which is very unusual for her. I've still got this man's card, and I'll be reporting him to the HDC tomorrow.

I don't think I'm overly sensitive about my missing eye, I truly don't.  Occasionally, people will ask me about the injury and I'll tell them.  But this man went way beyond the pale.  What the fuck is WRONG with some people?

Have any of you had an experience like this, someone blatantly crossing boundaries than any normal, sensible person wouldn't even consider doing?

Boru

[Jackalope]

Yeah, I got accosted by a guy with no respect for boundaries try to hold a prayer circle with me in the parking lot of an Exxon station when he witnessed me in an anonymous act of charity.

[SteelCurtain]

After my shoulder surgery in my plebe year, I was in an immobilizer cast for 6 weeks. After I got it off, part of my stretching and regaining ROM was to put my hand above my head and stretch.

One of my classmates who watched me walk around in a sling for 6 weeks came up behind me when my arms were up and decided to help me stretch.

I literally body slammed him and was about to fuck his world up when my roomate pulled me off him. I'm not normally that quick, but that was my college football career he was fucking with.

He was apologizing as I threw him on the floor, and continued even afterwards. He just was an idiot in that moment.

This guy seems like he just is used to people respecting the words "opthalmic surgeon" to the point where they'll let him do whatever. What an ass.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Anyone reaching for me without my permission is going to get Rude Thump -- especially if it's my face.

A couple of months ago, I had a customer come up from behind me, take me by the shoulders, and start whispering in my ear. I wheeled around and told him flatly, "You need to respect my space. Don't touch me and don't whisper in my ear." He got plenty butthurt -- still won't talk to me -- but that sort of shit is rude beyond belief.

I have a noticeable limp as a result of my bone disease. I don't mind talking about it when someone asks, but I seek medical advice from a doctor, not a yoga (! As if I can fucking bend like that!) instructor or some random stranger who broke her leg two decades ago. Not as rude, but still on the scale.

[Losty]

Being too touchy seems common to me. I've had strangers try to massage my shoulders, rubbing my belly when I was pregnant (without permission), sitting in my hospital bed with me trying to pray for me. The one that gets me the most is strangers who try to touch my children. People think they can just touch...I hate that. The best moment for me was when a woman got all in my nephew's (then 2 years old) face because he was "so cute" and she reached out to touch him and he slapped her in the face. Of course he can't do that and I had to tell him he can't do that, but I was still glad he did.

[account_inactive]

Well, that guys an asshole. Good on you for not beating him to a pulp though.  

[Excited Penguin]

People have been getting too familiar with me my whole life. It's probably why I'm so fucked up. Some times it's like I live inside of a joke, is how ridiculous things get.

It's important to remember that most people are simply idiots without even knowing it, though.

[brewer]

I have an arms length no fly zone. Pretty much the only time they are let in is for a handshake. Don't even try to hug me, ain't gonna happen.

This guy was totally out of place. The shit he was trying to pull was for the office, not public. Maybe he is that bad of a surgeon that he feels he needs to drum up business. Maybe he can't afford an office. Was he driving a van?

I know that I walk up to complete strangers and ask if they are taking any prescription medication. Then I start in with "Who's on first".

[c172]

I have spina bifida, as I have said several times on here before. I have crutches and leg braces. It is something I am born with. I do not know the other side of the fence. But for one, I get more than the normal shares of "God Bless You" and such. I also have complete strangers begging me to let them give me a ride somewhere. Plus, I got my groceries comped once last year by a pastor (I should have just left them as go-backs). 

A few weeks ago, I had come off a bus and was going to a social. A young man I thought I recognized apprroached me, so I said "Hey, how's it going?". He introduced himself as an art student, and said that he wanted to invent some sort of brace add-on so that I wouldn't wear out my shoe so much. 

An art student?! Really? It may be different if my orthotics team discussed this. But in that case, they'd do all the measurements, etc. And only if it seemed a good idea to...well...me. The guy with the actual disability. Who has had one for 40 years. 

I don't get very jealous of others' mobility. But social situations get weird for me. I'd be OK if that ended.

[Bob Kelso]

I've had to cool it with my boundaries issue since working security, there's a lot of psychs and people on drugs with no sense of boundaries. One I'm less inclined to restrain myself on, psychs can't necessarily help it but it's not as if someone forced the drugs into the latter's system.

My wife and I both snap at people who try to touch our children out in public, on one occasion I nearly came to blows with some old codger who not only wouldn't take the hint but waved his hand dismissively when I flatly told him to back off and still tried to touch my infant son. He eventually got the message when I snatched him by his collar.

I don't care who you are, unless you're family or a close friend you don't touch my children without my permission.