Forced Prayer

[Rextos]

how old are you ? is it really that bad? can you just maybe go to make them happy? tbh i always though mulsim architecture was really beautiful, and i love the sound of the word "masjid"...it sounds...MASJIIID!!! MASJIIIIIID!!!! MASJID!!! WE SPREAD ISLAM TO THE FAR CORNERS OF THIS WORLD, DEATH TO THE INFIDELS! ALLAH WILL THE REAP THE SINNERS...

er sorry, i think i see what you mean, but you can still appreciate the architecture i think, and maybe they talk about some wisdom stuff that might help you in life anyways - like i used to go to church and even though a lot of it was BS, some of the stuff makes sense...like not worrying about "what ifs" too much...

[Minimalist]

Being 12 limits your options.

Your parents sound like dicks.  That's a shame but they are far from alone.

Remember, they can make you go but they cannot make you believe.

[account_inactive]

You're only twelve, so unfortunately your family can force you to attend mosques or whatever. Sorry to hear that your parents are assholes. Just wait it out until you are older.

[Bunburryist]

You're not going to convince them they're wrong, and at your age you will be essentially powerless in the context of the Mosque. You are in a weak position, and there's not much you can do about it.

For the time being, perhaps you can play "dumb kid who is confused" - "Golly, gee whiz, Mom and Dad - I'm just so confused!" Don't outright reject them or their beliefs - it's called "politics." You're going to learn that there are a lot of times in life (family, work, etc.) where we either can't or don't want to just say what we believe - regardless how sure we are that we are right. I have an old aunt who I love very much and who is never going to change her beliefs. I would never tell her I don't believe in God, because I know it would hurt her very much, and it wouldn't do a bit of good for anyone. If she asked, I would just beat around the bush. We have to pick our battles. When you are old enough to move out on your own - then you can bet all brave and "in your face" about this stuff. Play it cool, try not to make waves. Never say "I don't believe in God" - say "I'm not sure what I believe." (Strictly speaking - logically speaking - you do not KNOW there is no God. You only KNOW that you don't believe in one.) Don't say "I don't believe the Koran is the word of God" - say, "There are a lot of things in the Koran that I'm not sure about."

Something you need to understand is that your parents didn't get up one day and think - "Hey, let's be closed minded idiots and brain-wash our kids because we hate them and want to ruin their minds!" I'm going to guess that your parents really do love you, and really do want the best for you. Just because we don't believe in god doesn't mean we should necessarily go around wantonly slapping the people who love us in the face with our dis-belief - no matter how sure we are that we are right. They would no doubt tell you that Allah is compassionate. Just because you don't believe doesn't mean YOU can't be compassionate. Try to understand and remember that they are not out to hurt you or make you miserable. What you see as them unfairly imposing their beliefs on you might be, to them, doing what they sincerely believe a good parent should do. Part of growing up is learning when we can, and when we can't do and say what we want or believe. One thing you can do is to show them, by your behavior, that non-believers can be kind, patient, and loving.

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.

Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.
(Teach Your Children Well - Crosby, Stills, and Nash)

---

I left out the last two - and I think most important lines -

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

[ScienceAf]

Oh boy. Well, you have a few options open to you. It depends how you think they would pan out.

1) Ask awkward questions. Do lots of research beforehand, and present people at the mosque with questions they can't easily answer without looking foolish. This isn't hard since religion is ridiculous. Maybe they'll get too embarressed to keep bringing you.

2) Play along. Pretend you've "found religion" again. It will suck, but at least they will probably put less pressure on you. Fake it until you can leave home and become indepent, for a quiet life.

3) Warn your parents that they are damaging their relationship with you. The more they force you to do things while you're in their care, the less you are going to want to speak to them once you're independent. My parents abused their care of me, and now they are paying the price. I barely talk to them.

I wish I could offer more. It's horrible that parents are allowed to do this. Whatever happens, keep coming here to vent, and so we can support you.

I will do this from now on thank you, and it is horrible.

---

Hey, kid...What'd you "come out" for? Didn't almost everyone advise you NOT to do that? 
Did you think that was for no good reason?

You've gotta start thinking ahead, man....like, at least ten minutes into the future. Please.
You're a way smart kid, but you're killing me! 

I can't take lying to them

[Arkilogue]

The one of the most personally powerful forms of prayer is simple gratitude, addressed in all directions, as a state of being.

You don't have to believe what your parents do, but you can use the time to deepen your connection with Being.

Of all the things that denote the presence of God in a person's life, joy is foremost.

[Jesster]

The one of the most personally powerful forms of prayer is simple gratitude, addressed in all directions, as a state of being.

You don't have to believe what your parents do, but you can use the time to deepen your connection with Being.

Of all the things that denote the presence of God in a person's life, joy is foremost.

That's not what he's asking for at all. Give the kid some space to breathe here since he has none at home.

[ScienceAf]

Oh sweetie, you are so young to be having to deal with this. This isn't like a 16 or 17 year old fighting and having to deal with it for another year or so before freedom. You have a good 6 years (depending where you are and what the legal adult age is for you) and that is too much time to be burning bridges but it is also a long time to pretend to be who you are not. I personally think you need to be somewhere in the middle.

I came out to my parents when I was 16. My step dad laughed and said it was a phase and my mom was in Iraq so she had other things to worry about. I was forced to go to church and I cried in the restroom most of the time. After that they left me in the car the next time during Sunday school but made me go to service. I sat and sulked the entire time. After that I never had to go again. I wasn't outright rebellious but I was obnoxious enough that I wasn't worth the effort it took to get me to act happy to be there. Then again my parents weren't very religious. My suggestion is to do as you are told even if you do it while looking miserable. I think showing an effort but not pretending to be a believer would help. Go to their religious functions and behave maybe your misery will make them feel bad. I wouldn't lie to them saying you are something you aren't and I wouldn't neglect to remind them nicely that you respect and love them but you are hurting from this forced religion. Worse comes to worse treat it like an unwanted music lesson. Kids are forced to go to those despite their wants all the time.

Wow, thank you. I don't no what to say. It's not like I even told my real dad. New world and "the aliens came" type of guy. I haven't even had time to cry or release my anger, but hey... What can I do.

---

You're not going to convince them they're wrong, and at your age you will be essentially powerless in the context of the Mosque.  You are in a weak position, and there's not much you can do about it.  

For the time being, perhaps you can play "dumb kid who is confused" - "Golly, gee whiz, Mom and Dad - I'm just so confused!"  Don't outright reject them or their beliefs - it's called "politics."  You're going to learn that there are a lot of times in life (family, work, etc.)  where we either can't or don't want to just say what we believe - regardless how sure we are that we are right.  I have an old aunt who I love very much and who is never going to change her beliefs.  I would never tell her I don't believe in God, because I know it would hurt her very much, and it wouldn't do a bit of good for anyone.  If she asked, I would just beat around the bush.  We have to pick our battles.  When you are old enough to move out on your own - then you can bet all brave and "in your face" about this stuff.  Play it cool, try not to make waves.  Never say "I don't believe in God" - say "I'm not sure what I believe."  (Strictly speaking - logically speaking - you do not KNOW there is no God.  You only KNOW that you don't believe in one.)  Don't say "I don't believe the Koran is the word of God" - say, "There are a lot of things in the Koran that I'm not sure about."  

Something you need to understand is that your parents didn't get up one day and think - "Hey, let's be closed minded idiots and brain-wash our kids because we hate them and want to ruin their minds!"  I'm going to guess that your parents really do love you, and really do want the best for you.  Just because we don't believe in god doesn't mean we should necessarily go around wantonly slapping the people who love us in the face with our dis-belief - no matter how sure we are that we are right.  They would no doubt tell you that Allah is compassionate.  Just because you don't believe doesn't mean YOU can't be compassionate.  Try to understand and remember that they are not out to hurt you or make you miserable.  What you see as them unfairly imposing their beliefs on you might be, to them, doing what they sincerely believe a good parent should do.  Part of growing up is learning when we can, and when we can't do and say what we want or believe.  One thing you can do is to show them, by your behavior, that non-believers can be kind, patient, and loving.

And you, of tender years,
Can't know the fears that your elders grew by,
And so please help them with your youth,
They seek the truth before they can die.

Teach your parents well,
Their children's hell will slowly go by,
And feed them on your dreams
The one they picks, the one you'll know by.
(Teach Your Children Well - Crosby, Stills, and Nash)

---

I left out the last two - and I think most important lines -

Don't you ever ask them why, if they told you, you will cry,
So just look at them and sigh and know they love you.

Thank you... this is something I will also remember in my life. Thank you very much.

[Arkilogue]

The one of the most personally powerful forms of prayer is simple gratitude, addressed in all directions, as a state of being.

You don't have to believe what your parents do, but you can use the time to deepen your connection with Being.

Of all the things that denote the presence of God in a person's life, joy is foremost.

That's not what he's asking for at all. Give the kid some space to breathe here since he has none at home.

Others have already better explained his options at such an age, I am offering something he can constructively do with his time and use to create dialog/space with/between the believers around him.

Simple gratitude and saying "thank you" is biologically beneficial and not addressed to any conception of deity, and if one exists, there is no way it could not reach such a being.

Islamic prayer is anywhere from 10 or 15 minutes to an hour, 5 times a day. That's a lot of time.

[Jesster]

That's not what he's asking for at all. Give the kid some space to breathe here since he has none at home.

Others have already better explained his options at such an age, I am offering something he can constructively do with his time and use to create dialog/space with/between the believers around him.

Simple gratitude and saying "thank you" is biologically beneficial and not addressed to any conception of deity, and if one exists, there is no way it could not reach such a being.

Islamic prayer is anywhere from 10 or 15 minutes to an hour, 5 times a day. That's a lot of time.

He said he's trying to avoid prayer since it's being forced on him. Suggesting another form of hokey religion as a replacement is probably offensive to someone who is going through this kind of crap at home. But go ahead and attempt to push your idea of religion on him if it makes you feel better. It doesn't matter how it makes him feel.

I don't always dislike believers, but I am starting to really dislike you.