Feeling inferior to pretty women (or women I like)

[Arkilogue]

Every person is different, every relationship is different. To assume or expect anything about either one is setting yourself up for dissapointment.

"Please forgive....too many mind. Girls, mind. Relationship, mind. Sex, mind............no mind." ~Nobutada, The Last Samurai.

[Joods]

Yes, so what? I know many of you will call me a faggot or whatever. Idgf

You don't want to be judged, yet you just judged everyone here. Hypocrite much?

I am a 21 year old male who has never kissed a girl or anything.  I often live off platonic loves. Liking a girl who I dont even know for years, and not being able to tolerate her presence because I start trembling, sweating, stuttering, cant think clearly, and feel like my legs have a 1000 KG ball attached to them (heavy). I often feel inferior to women who are pretty (in a specific way), or to the girl I like. Recently I even feel anger because is something I can barely control. Even when I read manga, or watch TV, etc. If there is a pretty female character, I almost immediatly feel annoyed by her. 

Take into account, though, that I am not shy in general. I speak well in public, and I can speak to anyone including women. EXCEPT, the girl I like. She is the only one who breaks me. 

Has anyone ever felt the same? It is like a love-hate sensation. You like her, and the same time you hate her.

Perhaps look into your childhood and try to figure out why you feel this way towards women. Therapy might help.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Also, I found that being able to give an earnest compliment helped me break my shyness.

[Mermaid]

I am actually relatively good looking. I could kiss a girl, or get a gf if I wanted to. The thing is, I want to do it with the girl I like. And therefore I have no sexual experience.

I agree, love is underrated as c172 said. Have a platonic girl for a girl, you are a weirdo. Desiring to fuck multiple girls like a moneky, completely normal.

Fuck this society.

Everyone goes through this. It is completely normal.

[Whateverist]

I am actually relatively good looking. I could kiss a girl, or get a gf if I wanted to. The thing is, I want to do it with the girl I like. And therefore I have no sexual experience.

I agree, love is underrated as c172 said. Have a platonic girl for a girl, you are a weirdo. Desiring to fuck multiple girls like a moneky, completely normal.

Fuck this society.

You could love many people and should.  What do you think the purpose of 'the one' true gf might be?  If you ever want to be ready to have an enduring relationship with one of the many who could be ideal for you .. be open to loving the one you're with.  Nothing is improved by restricting yourself to one for all time.  Figure out what is 'perfect' about which ever one you're with.  You're not betraying someone better .. you're just getting better yourself.  Don't build your obsession up beyond all bounds.

[KevinM1]

Why do you care what society thinks?

Seriously, this defensiveness - "You'll call me a faggot or whatever," "Have a platonic girl for a girl, you are a weirdo" - strikes me as odd.

If people give you shit for who you are or how you enjoy other people's company, then fuck them. They've proven their opinions are worthless and are thus not worth considering.

Regarding why you get nervous, I don't know. I'm not a psychologist, but it sounds like self-esteem issues on your end. The title of this topic - feeling inferior - highlights that. So, why do you feel inferior to them? What's specific about it? And, for the record, feeling resentment towards them for those feelings of inferiority is patently unhealthy. It's not their fault that you feel that way simply because they exist with a certain, random set of physical attributes.

Finally, instead of asking a forum full of strangers, maybe talk to a counselor?

[Macoleco]

Well maybe that resentment comes from a bad experience I had. I tried once at university, speaking to the girl I like. I felt so tired of not being able to do it. Without going into details, it just didnt work out. I was too nervous.

We all know girls tell everything to their friends. Some time later, her friends started making fun of me university. It has been hard to overcome. I think I still havent forgotten about it. It still haunts me. People say "Talk to her, nothing will happen! What can be the worst that could happen?" Or "Why are you afraid? Women dont bite". They may not bite, but have the power to humilliate you. And this is the 2nd time it happens. It happened back when I was at highschool, but that time it did not affect me too much. Maybe this is why I have started feeling resentment towards women. Always so selfish.

I do not understand why I have so bad luck with women. Maybe I have to be more careful. Not like I have much of a choice though... My heart picks whoever it wants.

As of why I have never picked another girl, is because I have strong convictions. I do not want a relationship based on sex, or interests. Yes, I may pick a girl who is attractive, even if I dont really like her. And then what? Hope for me to eventually love her? In any case, this is more of a philosophical conversation, and I do not believe it adds to the main topic.

[Thumpalumpacus]

Meh, humiliation is an emotion you must invest in in order for its threat to be potent. Any woman wants to make fun of me because her friend told me "no", that's a woman who's crossed herself off my list for her shallow vanity and concern over conformity.

[Jesster]

I've been trying to figure out how to respond to this thread for a while. I don't really have any advice, so I just hope you can get your head in the right place soon. It sounds like you are having a big internal struggle that I couldn't even begin to unravel. Good luck, Macoleco.

[Arkilogue]

Well maybe that resentment comes from a bad experience I had. I tried once at university, speaking to the girl I like. I felt so tired of not being able to do it. Without going into details, it just didnt work out. I was too nervous.

We all know girls tell everything to their friends. Some time later, her friends started making fun of me university. It has been hard to overcome. I think I still havent forgotten about it. It still haunts me. People say "Talk to her, nothing will happen! What can be the worst that could happen?" Or "Why are you afraid? Women dont bite". They may not bite, but have the power to humilliate you. And this is the 2nd time it happens. It happened back when I was at highschool, but that time it did not affect me too much. Maybe this is why I have started feeling resentment towards women. Always so selfish.

I do not understand why I have so bad luck with women. Maybe I have to be more careful. Not like I have much of a choice though... My heart picks whoever it wants.

As of why I have never picked another girl, is because I have strong convictions. I do not want a relationship based on sex, or interests. Yes, I may pick a girl who is attractive, even if I dont really like her. And then what? Hope for me to eventually love her? In any case, this is more of a philosophical conversation, and I do not believe it adds to the main topic.

Then your eyes (DNA, penis) is picking the girl and not your heart. A blindfold could cure most of your "problem."

But perhaps you might try doing your own thing for a while, getting good at your own hobbies/interest/having a skill or art to that is productive/intersting. There's a special interest social group for everything under the sun out there and I'm sure as you are successful in your endevours you'll meet some one along the way, interested in and doing the same things and you two will hit it off swimmingly. Good luck!