Not every pedophile is a rapist.

[Angrboda]

Recently an organization called B4U-ACT conducted an anonymous Internet survey designed to obtain information from persons who feel sexually attracted to prepubescent children.9 One hundred ninety-three individuals from a variety of countries and ranging in age from 15 to 70 responded to that survey. That survey found that more than 66 percent of persons who had experienced enduring attractions to much younger children had been aware of such feelings before age 18. Twenty-six percent of those surveyed had thought of committing suicide at some point in their lives, and 41 percent of those who had considered it had done so before age 18. Clearly, this is a population in need of mental health care, and 40 percent of respondents had expressed an interest in receiving it.

Some survey respondents had made comments pertinent to appreciating the stress that can be associated with Pedophilia. For example, one stated: "I'm a 15-year-old male … I'm not attracted to anyone my age or older anymore. I am only attracted to prepubescent girls. I feel like there is no hope for me to live, and sometimes I feel like killing myself…. I know the idea of a psychologist and everything, but I can't talk to anyone at this time because my parents would find out and get the wrong idea, and people would judge me and think I really want to hurt little kids." Another said: "I want to have sex with children all the time, but I know I cannot and will not because it will ruin that child's life, and it will do the same for mine. I look at pictures all the time. That helps me to deal with my desires without actually going out and having sex with a young child… ." Yet another stated: "Parents will disown you, teachers will report you, friends will abandon you. People in my situation can't discuss this without serious risk of persecution and/or harassment."

http://www.jaapl.org/content/42/4/404.full

Sounds like more than wanting to overpower a helpless victim to me.

[vorlon13]

Over the years there've been a few turn up at 12 Steppers.

One I encountered seemed to be not specifically inclined to kids so much as just not selective at all, if that makes sense. If someone seemed available, he'd go for it. Got in big trouble when one turned out to be under 12.


I've noted before, even as a kid myself, I've always been attracted/interested to the older boys. In my own class at grade school, my lack of interest in my male classmates left me defaulting to playing with the girls. Seems bizarre now to me, BTW. And my fascination, even in 3rd grade of the junior high boys was intense, I just didn't have access to them.

(BTW, I hated the junior high girls during those days. Maybe even then, I recognized the junior high boys growing interest in them and was feeling some jealousy ?)

I kinda wonder, what if one of the older boys had noticed my interest in him?

A significant exception in my life, Brian, while significantly younger than myself chronologically (24 to 33, m/l) my feelings were tempered by his mature attitude and demeanor stemming from his HIV diagnosis, IOW, Brian acted (and was) more mature than I was. And additionally, to me, his bravery and confidence 'read' to me as masculine, another attractant.

So, where I'm headed with all this in regards to pedophilia, I'm probably lucky to never have encountered one as a kid (and one with the opportunity to explore my attractions). I'm puzzled frankly, recalling being attracted to, for instance, Sandy on the show Flipper, but considering at the time that his current 2016 countenance would not have been as appealing to me in '63 as the kid on the TV show was, but now it's the other way round.

(BTW, yes, I'm aware the actor Luke Halpin is gravely ill these days, and it's quite upsetting. I'm not citing my attraction to him flippantly, I just have clear and vivid memories of the old TV show and my intense reaction to his character)

This is a really complicated subject. As for others with inappropriate attractions, how 'appropriate' was it for me as a third grader to want to go in the locker room with the junior high boys and watch ?


BTW, anyone here surprised your vorlon was a queer little kid ? Not only am I lucky I didn't encounter a pedophile, I was probably also extremely lucky the dense adults watching over me as I grew up never caught on and sent me to a shrink. How would that have gone in the 1960s ??

[Catholic_Lady]

First of all, I want to make clear I am not a pedophile, nor I am an expert in the topic. I honestly do not know if it is considered a psychiatric or psychologic disorder, but I believe you are born that way, except maybe for some extreme cases of people who have been abused.

I just want to put my opinion out there, because I believe this is a taboo topic nobody ever discusses.

Society usually hates pedophiles, and wants to see them crushed and dead. This is one of the reasons I believe pedophiles dont seek for professional help or help from relatives. They are afraid of being judged. 

This is why I believe that governments should invest in campaigns, informing to the general public what pedophilia is, and motivating pedophiles to seek for help. 

Now, some of you may be thinking "Protecting kids is the main priority", and it is. If you help pedophiles control their disorder (since we cant cure it as of right now), chances are they will not abuse kids. Therefore, the kids will be safe too.

Have you ever wondered, how many people you have met through your life have been pedophiles? Maybe they are even married, with kids. I think we all have, we just dont know about it. Maybe even some of your friends.

What do you think?  

People who are attracted to kids don't choose to be that way. Whether they are born that way, or whether they developed it due to environmental factors in their early life, or whether it's a little of both, we do not know. We only know that they do not choose to have this attraction. 

They can, however, choose not to *act* on it. Whether that be by looking at child porn, statutory rape, or full on rape, I can imagine it can't be easy to completely suppress such a strong compulsions. I don't think it is something they can do on their own without intensive psychological care, which they should seek. 

People who are attracted to children, and who, instead of acting on it, come forward to seek help instead, should be applauded for doing the difficult yet moral thing. Not shamed for an attraction they have no control over.

[Thumpalumpacus]

To add to that, having sex with anyone too young to give consent is indeed one form of rape, by definition.

A high school friend of mine was convicted of pedophilia about 15 years ago. I was shocked and sickened -- I had no idea he had that in him. The fact that he never showed that inclination -- at one time I rented a room from his parents, so we were basically roommates too -- the fact that I never saw any indication of it in his behavior makes me doubt that it was inherent in him.

Being a pedophile does not equal having sex with minors. You cannot be convicted of pedophilia. And I think that's the whole point of the op. Being a pedophile means being exclusively sexually attracted to children. It doesn't necessitate rape or molestation or any other criminal activity.

Agreed; I have the habit of conflating them in my mind, perhaps because of my own experience? I don't know.

At any rate, your distinction is correct and I should be more diligent in drawing it.

I seem to be on a roll with sloppy verbiage/thinking tonight.

("Tonight?" I hear y'all snickering!)

[Catholic_Lady]

I do think it's a fetish and I do think it's a choice, because like I said I don't see how a) attraction to one specific age group works when you are outside that age group yourself, and b) why these people would be attracted specifically to someone under 18, but apparently not attracted to someone over 18 who looks under 18. I raise my eyebrows at that, I'm sorry.

Why in heavens name would a grown man "choose" to have a sexual attraction to 7 year olds?? 

Also, fetishes are not choices. I can speak from personal experience.

[Losty]

First of all, I want to make clear I am not a pedophile, nor I am an expert in the topic. I honestly do not know if it is considered a psychiatric or psychologic disorder, but I believe you are born that way, except maybe for some extreme cases of people who have been abused.

I just want to put my opinion out there, because I believe this is a taboo topic nobody ever discusses.

Society usually hates pedophiles, and wants to see them crushed and dead. This is one of the reasons I believe pedophiles dont seek for professional help or help from relatives. They are afraid of being judged. 

This is why I believe that governments should invest in campaigns, informing to the general public what pedophilia is, and motivating pedophiles to seek for help. 

Now, some of you may be thinking "Protecting kids is the main priority", and it is. If you help pedophiles control their disorder (since we cant cure it as of right now), chances are they will not abuse kids. Therefore, the kids will be safe too.

Have you ever wondered, how many people you have met through your life have been pedophiles? Maybe they are even married, with kids. I think we all have, we just dont know about it. Maybe even some of your friends.

What do you think?  

People who are attracted to kids don't choose to be that way. Whether they are born that way, or whether they developed it due to environmental factors in their early life, or whether it's a little of both, we do not know. We only know that they do not choose to have this attraction. 

They can, however, choose not to *act* on it. Whether that be by looking at child porn, statutory rape, or full on rape, I can imagine it can't be easy to completely suppress such a strong compulsions. I don't think it is something they can do on their own without intensive psychological care, which they should seek. 

People who are attracted to children, and who, instead of acting on it, come forward to seek help instead, should be applauded for doing the difficult yet moral thing. Not shamed for an attraction they have no control over.

I agree with you. I would make one distinction though. When I've read anonymous comments from people who claim to be pedophiles not only do they not seem to have a strong urge to act on their desires but most seem to be the opposite. They're sexually attracted to children but they don't want to have sex with them because they have no desire to violate another human being or to hurt a child.

That to me is a huge distinction that people often mistakenly do not make between rapists and pedophiles. A pedophile is a person who by no choice of their own happens to be sexually attracted to children. A rapist is a person who willing robs a person of their own bodily autonomy because they wish to exert their power. I'm not saying a rapist can never be a pedophile but being a pedophile doesn't make a person a rapist. I would wager that most rapists who rape children are not pedophiles. That's just my opinion based on what I've read in the past. I don't have any evidence and I'm clearly not psychiatrist.

[Losty]

Being a pedophile does not equal having sex with minors. You cannot be convicted of pedophilia. And I think that's the whole point of the op. Being a pedophile means being exclusively sexually attracted to children. It doesn't necessitate rape or molestation or any other criminal activity.

Agreed; I have the habit of conflating them in my mind, perhaps because of my own experience? I don't know.

At any rate, your distinction is correct and I should be more diligent in drawing it.

I seem to be on a roll with sloppy verbiage/thinking tonight.

("Tonight?" I hear y'all snickering!)

You're not the only one, Thump. I think society as a whole tends to conflate them. I would really love to see this kind of stuff discussed more openly by doctors.

[Losty]

I do think it's a fetish and I do think it's a choice, because like I said I don't see how a) attraction to one specific age group works when you are outside that age group yourself, and b) why these people would be attracted specifically to someone under 18, but apparently not attracted to someone over 18 who looks under 18. I raise my eyebrows at that, I'm sorry.

Why in heavens name would a grown man "choose" to have a sexual attraction to 7 year olds?? 

Also, fetishes are not choices. I can speak from personal experience.

I never understand why anyone thinks a person would choose to be anything that makes them be viewed as a monster by most of society.

[BrokenQuill92]

Look I'm on the fence about pedos having a choice in the matter. However, I will say that if it's not a choice then yeah they WILL eventually become rapists. I mean if it's not a choice then they'll probably act out. Just like anti-gay politicians being caught with other men. So if it is a choice they should honestly be castrated. And if it's not they should still be castrated for the safety of all children anyway.

[vorlon13]

An angle I've just appreciated is of the ones I've encountered at 12 Steppers is, all of them used alcohol to either reduce their inhibitions in committing the offence, and/or, used alcohol (or worse) to make the victim more easily coerced.

D'uh, I suppose, it's obvious, but it just hit me. And it's not like I've heard anyone ever saying they molested a kid while sober, and then developed a drinking problem as a way of coping with the guilt/remorse.