Are you still grieving? You are not alone.

[Edwardo Piet]

Trump is proof that humans are idiots.

[Mermaid]

And I'd like to add to my list of concerns the biggest issue I have: My fellow citizens being incredibly nasty online to anyone who doesn't like it. "I love liberal tears" is just not a normal thing to say to another human being. We are not the nation I thought we were.

Giving him a chance is the only thing we can do, we have no choice whatsoever.

[Aroura]

I fully expect a few of the less sensitive members on this forum to troll me here, but I'm not in any mood to be called snowflake, pansy, or be told to grow up and put on my big boy pants (or other like insults), so I won't be responding to any comments like that.  I know I can't stop you from posting, just know I'll not be responding to any cruel trolling.

This thread is to help people who need to heal, for people who are suffering from legitimate grief since the election.  Like me.  I'd like to share with anyone here going through anything similar.  

Still grieving Trump? You are not alone

So almost every morning since the election I wake up feeling so strange.  Depressed, angry, more depressed, anxious, etc. Yes it's getting a bit better, but coming up on the electoral college vote the stress is starting to make it worse again.  I am having actual nightmares, and even when not election themed, my sleep has been much more disturbed, and my waking hours I feel constantly distracted and tired.  I cry over literally nothing.  In the shower, while playing video games, while driving to the store. My thoughts wander in mid sentence, I keep catching myself just staring off into space. 

The first few days after the election I thought it WAS normal, and that it would pass.  But it isn't passing!  I'm angrier than I've been in...well, maybe ever.  But that's only when I have the energy to even be angry. 

I'm trying to identify exactly why I feel this grief so deeply. I honestly feel if it had been Romney, or Jeb Bush, I would have been pissed and snippy for a few days, then moved on.  
This is like someone died.  I feel very real emotional pain,and it's not stopping, because I'm constantly reminded of the cause.  Can't look at FB, this site, or any news anywhere without a reminder that is akin to a punch in the face.

It feels so extreme.  I've tried to identify what my grief and anger is centered around, but it isn't just one thing.  So here a few things I have been feeling, rational or not.  I need to get them off my chest.

I honestly feel like Hillary lost because she's a woman.  Yeah, I know ALL of the problems that faced her, I've seen them listed over and over.  But Trump was just as bad or far worse in every category.  Why are people upset that she's on the side of wallstreet, but ignore the oh so obvious fact that Trump will be as bad or worse?
(I also hear hillary lost her shit on election night, all as an aside with sniggers included from the person telling it.  And you know, even if true, I just feel so bad for her!  Losing to that monster, the fact that she has returned to the public eye at ALL says something about her fortitude.  I still catch myself trying out how it would have felt to see her smiling face on the news each day instead of that orange sphincter, and that makes me sad too.  What might have been.  


I feel betrayed by my own country.  I thought people were better than this, better than him!  I felt we were moving away from his kind of thinking.  Yes, I know these people still exist, I guess I just didn't realize they compromised between 25 and 50% of everyone.

I am angry at people who fell for (and continue to fall for) fake news.  I'm angry that people are so selfish and so easily fooled by a con man.

My husband has told me in the past that he thinks I'm an optimist.  I feel there is "good" in everyone, and I try to look for it.  I forgive easily, and empathize constantly.  So now I'm angry at my own naitivity.  To think that people really wanted to be part of humanity as a whole, to love others as they are.  A world without borders, governments, religions, etc.  I know we are still so far away, but I felt a bit hopeful that we were moving in the right direction!  Now it seems John Lennons Imagine was just violently murdered by a mob screaming "Trump that Bitch" and thrown in the gutter.  And yes, I see the irony of me not accepting everyone here, which is perhaps part of my frustration and anger.

I spent a brief amount of time taking the advice of trying to talk to Trump voters to find that common ground, to understand and hopefully move forward.  But the immediate response in every case has been condescending name calling.  I'm a SJW, or a libtard, or an insane leftist that is bullying people, etc.  I stopped trying to talk to them.  They are full of glorified righteous anger, and my pathetic grief cannot withstand it.

I catch myself looking at people's cars, their faces, their clothes, and wondering, did they vote for Trump?  I've NEVER done this kind of thing before!  I don't judge people based on who they voted for, that's stupid!  Or it was; now, I am torn.

I tried to get involved in some activism, and although it made me feel really energized at first, that didn't last. First, it was the postcard campaign against Bannon, and signing petitions.  I have even made more than one donation to groups I've never donated to before, such as Planned parenthood and the ACCLU. But then a few days later, I start feeling that none of my activism will make a difference, so I'm right back to depression.  I mean, nothing is stopping the White house filling with science deniers, creationists, bigots of the very worst stripe, and completely unqualified 1%ers with literally 0 experience at what they are now in charge of.

Well, I'm really opening myself up to hurt here, but I'm hoping that in doing so I can find a way to start healing.

As a Trump supporter myself I'm not going to call you any names, and would actually like to hear your concerns about Trump. Honestly I'd like to hear the specifics which would be good to talk about so we could find some common ground and maybe I could help remove some of the fears, or at least give you the opportunity to talk. I promise to not be judgemental on your thread, and just would really like to hear about what is troubling you.

Thank you scooby, I'e actually seen a few of your posts in other threads, and admit you are being very reasonable, thank you.

Nothing anyone says can ease my concerns, even though you have made some good points in other threads, and I honestly hope you are correct and the results of his election are that he brings jobs home, stops our interference with the rest of the world, and focuses more on infrastructure, etc.  I would be very, very pleased to have my fears all be proven wrong.

However, not a day goes by that Trump himself does not do something that increases them again.  His extremely thin skin, His unbelievably unpolitic tweets, his cabinet picks, his thinking he's smarter than the entire CIA.  These are not things that bode well for us over the next 4 years.  And you cannot undo these facts with a few well intentioned words.  

So yes, I am saying YOU cannot change my mind, but I'd like to point out that I'm still open to having my mind changed.  It's just that it will have to come from the source, from Trump and his administration.  So for me, and for many Americans, I guess all we can do is wait and see, each day.

---

Reading fake news sites is bad for your health. It was the Drumpfucks that were doing the defacing of property, the intimidation, the threats of presidential assasination. The whole mythology of the "shy Trump" voter is a lie. He brought not one single person to the booths that the republicans hadn't already captured.


Seems to me that when the candidate who lost the vote by 3m votes and counting, when the candidate whose party disenfranchised at least 7 million voters (and when you factor in the use of voter ID laws declared unconstitutional by the highest court in the land north of 10 million US citizens probably lost their right to vote), is declared the winner the people at the polling booths have been silenced.

Trump's swearing in will be as shabby and treasonous a day as when Franz von Papen crowned Hitler Reichkanzler back in 1933.

Not really at all actually. The left is openly calling for his assassination. The left has been rioting. The left has been defacing property all over. The left spray painted make america white again on a building, which was pounced on by trump protesters as proof trump supporters were racists, when in fact it as a leftists who wrote it in protest. There are stories of Muslims who faked stories about being harassed, and now getting charged with filing false police reports.

Then to factor in the all the ICE agents who talk about the fake documents they find on the illegal aliens and the left pushing for non citizens to vote you have to wonder how many illegal votes were cast in sanctuary cities. The vast majority of citizens have drivers licences or at least IDs despite what the left likes to say. There are really very few people that don't have IDs in the US.

Oops, and then you posted this.  Arg.  See, this is why we can't have nice things, or a nice conversation, lol.

[CapnAwesome]

You risk being called a racist almost regardless of what you do and say nowadays. You have to acknowledge that it's offensive to call someone a racist. So it's a hard sell to say you are in favor of respectful dialog and yet also in favor of calling lots of people racists. I'm not a racist at all, yet I can hardly criticize Islam without being called a racist online, which offends me greatly. So you can't be in favor of respectful dialog and call people racist. It's not respectful dialog. That's why free speech and political correctness will always be at odds with one another.

Free speech = freedom from being persecuted or arrested for speaking freely. That's it. It is not freedom from criticism.

Have you ever thought about what you are saying that is causing people to call you racist? Consider that what you are saying may actually be racist.
That being said, you can't say anything without offending SOMEONE. That's just the way it works. In this age of rapid communication and information, that's only going to be amplified.

I'm not going to change being critical of Islam because people say it's racist. If I did that I'd never be able to say anything about Islam, people would just use the racism accusation to shut down any dialog that they don't like. Which is exactly what happens, in my opinion. I've never said anything racist about Islam or Muslims. For one thing, it's not a race of people. In fact it's probably the most multi-racial religion there is. So people are just using the racism card to try to end dialog. It's impossible to not offend people, like you said, which is part of why I think political correctness is pointless. It's a tool to end dialog with people.

I'm always in favor of opening up dialog with people. Yes, there is no legal consequences to that free speech, but trying to end dialog via political correctness is still an attack on free speech. Free speech is far more then just a law that is viewed with a strict definition, it's a guiding principle of free societies. Only with free speech can we discuss ideas, debate them and decide which are best. That's why I view free speech as so much more then just a law, it's what allows us to be Atheists in public, what allows us to think freely and what allows society to progress. So all attacks on free speech are not just legal ones. Anytime someone tries to shut down dialog (including by dismissing people as racists when you'd rather not listen to them) it's a small attack on free speech.

I think you and me agree that respectful dialog is the best, just we have different paths that we think is best.

[scoobysnack]

OK, well thanks for the response. I agree he should calm the rhetoric and act more diplomatically, but kind of enjoy a non politician being real. Understand the concerns though of how others perceive it, trust me I do.

Regarding the Muslims, that's really just the Muslim refugees that are coming in, not really all Muslim citizens. It's a response to ISIS threats to infiltrate refugees to infiltrate their target nations.

We already have a fence on our southern border, so the wall would just be reinforcing what we have to protect national sovereignty. Kind of comes down to protecting American tax payer interests and security issues. I understand some people think we should have no borders because we are all people, but that is simply not viable due to other factors such as trade deficits, and actual security.

He's getting intel briefings actually from the DNI which is the umbrella organization which covers all intel agencies. Also keep in mind under the NDAA the law was reversed that propaganda which before was only lawful to be spread to other nations can now be spread in our news media. Granted it's been going on forever, but now it's lawful.

Sexist? Sure I guess but what man or women isn't the same. Are you saying you don't talk about guys or girls with your girlfriends in a way that you may be embarrassed to talk about publicly? 

All that being said, I do understand the concerns and not discounting them as illegitimate. I'm more interested in building the economy, and reversing the trade deficit we have, which will bring economic security and freedom to all citizens along with prosperity which should alleviate some of the social justice inequality we have. That's one thing the progressive left doesn't focus on. What's best for all of America. Not what's best for just certain groups. Find the root cause of the problems and offer cures rather then bandaids. It's not just racism or the patriarchy. What are the principles that all humans want? That's what we should focus on as we move forward.

Your arguing every point only comes across as condescending.

He can't complete a sentence. He's a mentally ill, inarticulate, naive man who does not represent more than half the country. This is a serious problem, this divide. A very serious problem. More than half the voters have been disenfranchised, and that's just not good. This is not the same as when Bush upset Kerry in 2004. Not by a longshot.

Sorry didn't mean it to come across that way. I guess I just see it from the perspective of those that know him and know about the plan for the new world order which I've been against for a long time. Trump knows about the plans as well, but understands the public is not ready to hear that, so the message has been dumbed down. Behind the scenes it's a different story though.

Do you feel he will do something that will result in war or economic collapse? Honestly I've been expecting economic collapse for a while and several months ago I thought I wonder if they would put Trump in to blame on the collapse which was coming, in an attempt to destroy nationalism once and for all, and bring in the new world order. Actually quite possible which is scary.

What do you think of the stock market going up to record levels immediately after Trump won? What does that mean to you? F

---

As a Trump supporter myself I'm not going to call you any names, and would actually like to hear your concerns about Trump. Honestly I'd like to hear the specifics which would be good to talk about so we could find some common ground and maybe I could help remove some of the fears, or at least give you the opportunity to talk. I promise to not be judgemental on your thread, and just would really like to hear about what is troubling you.

Thank you scooby, I'e actually seen a few of your posts in other threads, and admit you are being very reasonable, thank you.

Nothing anyone says can ease my concerns, even though you have made some good points in other threads, and I honestly hope you are correct and the results of his election are that he brings jobs home, stops our interference with the rest of the world, and focuses more on infrastructure, etc.  I would be very, very pleased to have my fears all be proven wrong.

However, not a day goes by that Trump himself does not do something that increases them again.  His extremely thin skin, His unbelievably unpolitic tweets, his cabinet picks, his thinking he's smarter than the entire CIA.  These are not things that bode well for us over the next 4 years.  And you cannot undo these facts with a few well intentioned words.  

So yes, I am saying YOU cannot change my mind, but I'd like to point out that I'm still open to having my mind changed.  It's just that it will have to come from the source, from Trump and his administration.  So for me, and for many Americans, I guess all we can do is wait and see, each day.

---

Not really at all actually. The left is openly calling for his assassination. The left has been rioting. The left has been defacing property all over. The left spray painted make america white again on a building, which was pounced on by trump protesters as proof trump supporters were racists, when in fact it as a leftists who wrote it in protest. There are stories of Muslims who faked stories about being harassed, and now getting charged with filing false police reports.

Then to factor in the all the ICE agents who talk about the fake documents they find on the illegal aliens and the left pushing for non citizens to vote you have to wonder how many illegal votes were cast in sanctuary cities. The vast majority of citizens have drivers licences or at least IDs despite what the left likes to say. There are really very few people that don't have IDs in the US.

Oops, and then you posted this.  Arg.  See, this is why we can't have nice things, or a nice conversation, lol.

We can have a nice conversation, but understand we are not going to agree on everything, but that is part of dialog and the interesting part. Although it's fun to talk to my Trump supporter friends to validate my belief system which leads to my confirmation bias, I also like to talk to people that I don't see eye to eye with. The key is listening to understand and that's why I'm trying to do.

I'd actually like to hear more of your concerns, but also realize perhaps we all need to focus on our circle of control, not our circle of concern to live a happy life. I read your other post and was going to mention that. I recently went through the course again for work 7 habits for highly effective people, and probably by now starting to sound like a broken record for mentioning it lol, but it's really something we all need to apply to our lives. How can we positively effect our lives and the lives of others:

[Aroura]

The "new world order"?

So my concerns are that
He lies.  All.The.Time.
His followers believe his lies. (demonstrated even in recent posts here in this thread!)
He just does whatever he wants, regardless of any consequences.  There is a reason politicians don't tend to do this.
His followers just dismiss his mistakes and applaud his errors as fresh, new, and outside the box.
Many of his followers become verbally violent when confronted.  They were angry before, and now they are more so.
They will attack ANYONE he attacks.

I'm an American, not a Russian, so he's not now, and never will be my president. I can say, what if he turns out to be a good president, but then I live the world where I recognize that you don't hire a spiritual healer to perform brain surgery and expect a good outcome.

[AFTT47]

Almost every morning since the election I wake up feeling so strange.  Depressed, angry, more depressed, anxious, etc. Yes it's getting a bit better, but coming up on the electoral college vote the stress is starting to make it worse again.  I am having actual nightmares, and even when not election themed, my sleep has been much more disturbed, and my waking hours I feel constantly distracted and tired.  I cry over literally nothing.  In the shower, while playing video games, while driving to the store. My thoughts wander in mid sentence, I keep catching myself just staring off into space. 

My method of coping has been to detach. I don't look at the news websites any more and don't discuss anything remotely like politics with anyone. I try hard to avoid learning the political opinions of co-workers and neighbors because I know if I learn they supported Trump, they will be vermin in my eyes. I don't see Trump supporters as people with different opinions but as enemies of humanity. They are defective units to me, cancer cells. The only way to avoid constant feelings of disgust and anger for me is to just detach from anything political. It might work for you as well.

[account_inactive]

[Aroura]

Almost every morning since the election I wake up feeling so strange.  Depressed, angry, more depressed, anxious, etc. Yes it's getting a bit better, but coming up on the electoral college vote the stress is starting to make it worse again.  I am having actual nightmares, and even when not election themed, my sleep has been much more disturbed, and my waking hours I feel constantly distracted and tired.  I cry over literally nothing.  In the shower, while playing video games, while driving to the store. My thoughts wander in mid sentence, I keep catching myself just staring off into space. 

My method of coping has been to detach. I don't look at the news websites any more and don't discuss anything remotely like politics with anyone. I try hard to avoid learning the political opinions of co-workers and neighbors because I know if I learn they supported Trump, they will be vermin in my eyes. I don't see Trump supporters as people with different opinions but as enemies of humanity. They are defective units to me, cancer cells. The only way to avoid constant feelings of disgust and anger for me is to just detach from anything political. It might work for you as well.

I tried this last month and failed.  Where I'm struggling is that I can't read anything without seeing it brought up somewhere in the story or comments, it seems. Article about how some person overcame hardship and triumphed!  Comments are political bashing.
Well, it is still good advice.  FB just has to go,  I hate it anyway, and I cannot stand it now.  I cleaned up my feed so I don't see the trolls, and I still cannot look at it, because even those who agree with me are suffering and going on about it constantly, so that's no help.

Not looking at it won't make it go away, but it's certainly one way of coping with it, since I cannot change anything about it.

No more FB
Only mafia on here, I suppose.
I never talk politics in RL anyway (outside of talking with my hubby or brother), so no problem there.

Is it actually helping you, or do you still feel angry even when not looking at stuff about it?  Also, do you struggle not to look?

[Jesster]

Personally, I'm just tired of people telling me to give Trump a chance, and that he's not any worse than (insert liberal politician here). Sorry, that's not going to work here.