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Current time: 18th November 2017, 22:45

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Into the abyss
#1
Into the abyss
For the upcoming colonoscopy, I've been given a jug (4 liters worth!) of something with the consistency of cow drool and the taste of salty Vaseline (don't ask how I know this).

So, realizing that humor is the only thing in my quiver that is going to get me through this, I'm  making a thread here so the rest of you can share the experience.

I've imbibed just a few ounces of this demon spew  and already I'm having stomach cramps.

Jesus fucking Christ, is colon cancer really that bad ?
Heptaclavianism:
the belief that seven nails were used to crucify Jesus Christ; three on Maundy Thursday, and four on Good Friday


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#2
RE: Into the abyss
By now, I imagine you're running for the toilet.

The next 24 hours will not be pleasant, I assure you.
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#3
RE: Into the abyss
(29th December 2016, 14:11)vorlon13 Wrote: Jesus fucking Christ, is colon cancer really that bad ?

Yes. Apparently its a real pain in the ass.






You can fix ignorance, you can't fix stupid.

Tinkety Tonk and down with the Nazis.




 








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#4
RE: Into the abyss
Was advised by a friend that starting off with (at least) 18 hours of no food will help when the fireworks starts, and I've already had my AM BM, so the (futile) hope is the eruptive phase will transition rapidly to the desired end state.

At least I'm trying to sell it to myself this way.


And damn, that shit is NASTY. What pray tell were they thinking ? The saltiness with the disquieting and overwhelming petrochemical overtone is just fucking gross.
Heptaclavianism:
the belief that seven nails were used to crucify Jesus Christ; three on Maundy Thursday, and four on Good Friday


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#5
RE: Into the abyss
Don't trip, bud. It's just nontoxic Drano®.

Did you remember to pick up some Depends? I sure hope so, 'cause it's too late to rectify any oversight.
Those who see only what they wish to see are doomed to rot in the stink of their own perceptions. -- Frank Herbert
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#6
RE: Into the abyss
I had everything going on today scheduled for the morning. The FedEx guy even co-operated. Had the fertilizer/herbicide dealer stop by and my wallet is $28,000 m/l lighter now.

And had a meeting with the farm manager, we are OK for end of the year stuff.

And now it's time for my end of the year . . . .
Heptaclavianism:
the belief that seven nails were used to crucify Jesus Christ; three on Maundy Thursday, and four on Good Friday


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#7
RE: Into the abyss
Ah man, sorry they've got you on such horrible stuff Sad
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#8
RE: Into the abyss
this cannot be a commercially viable product


oh . . . .



it doesn't have to be.
Heptaclavianism:
the belief that seven nails were used to crucify Jesus Christ; three on Maundy Thursday, and four on Good Friday


Reply
#9
RE: Into the abyss
well, read up on the stuff and . . .


looks like if nothing happens I'm in DEEP trouble.

Also, the severe headache that is building up isn't related to it.

The info blurb didn't mention the cramping, but I'm assuming given the desired outcome of taking this swill, the cramping goes without saying.


Still, I am quite uncomfortable.


No poo yet, but a thunderous fart has just been emitted. Emergency Auxiliary Backup Cat #2 took note.


Did I mention I was uncomfortable ?
Heptaclavianism:
the belief that seven nails were used to crucify Jesus Christ; three on Maundy Thursday, and four on Good Friday


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#10
RE: Into the abyss
Hmm... my work involves a lot of bowels. They're long and fragile so they're pretty easy to get sick in.

But yeahhhhhhhhhh I'm'a go out on a limmmmmmmmmmb and say that this is probbbbbbbbbbbably better than undiagnosed colon cancer
How will we know, when the morning comes, we are still human? - 2D

Don't worry, my friend.  If this be the end, then so shall it be.
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