My mom is dying, going to need an ear.

[JamieBra]

Brian
Your mom sounds like she was an amazing lady. I love the table tennis and dollar store stories. My grandma was my best friend and a very devote born again christian. She told me things she hadn't told anyone. As I did with her. She was a tiny thing with so much love to give, but she was never emptied of it. She would find homeless pregnant woman and help them get homes food and medical care. At her funeral there were so many people I had never heard of that she affected. For me it has been the hardest loss. Even more so than the twins I lost before birth, because she was so complex and beautiful. I got to care for her as she got close to death and she did stupid things like stopped eating to rush it along. Its been 5 years and I see her in almost everything I do. Not the sex stuff, lol. But I think your mom had a huge impact on who you've become and how you can relate in this world. I hope as time goes on u can continue to heal, but know you will never forget because that kind of woman is rare. She is to be cherished as are you for recognizing it. We are lucky to have had them in our lives and forever they will affect us.

[Brian37]

Brian
Your mom sounds like she was an amazing lady. I love the table tennis and dollar store stories. My grandma was my best friend and a very devote born again christian. She told me things she hadn't told anyone. As I did with her. She was a tiny thing with so much love to give, but she was never emptied of it. She would find homeless pregnant woman and help them get homes food and medical care. At her funeral there were so many people I had never heard of that she affected.  For me it has been the hardest loss. Even more so  than the twins I lost before birth, because she was so complex and beautiful. I got to care for her as she got close to death and she did stupid things like stopped eating to rush it along. Its been 5 years and I see her in almost everything I do. Not the sex stuff, lol. But I think your mom had a huge impact on who you've become and how you can relate in this world. I hope as time goes on u can continue to heal, but know you will never forget because that kind of woman is rare. She is to be cherished as are you for recognizing it. We are lucky to have had them in our lives and forever they will affect us.

Actually it was table football. You make a triangle wedge, and the goal is to flick it to the edge of the table, just like a football player has to cross the end zone line. But in table football the wedge has to cross the edge of the table without falling off.

Thanks for the comments. You never "heal" but cope. It is never easy for anyone to lose a loved one, I know exactly how you feel.

October 1 now, still unimaginable seems like yesterday but long ago both at the same time.

I mentioned in another thread I got to pet a baby squirrel that would have been something if my mom were alive to tell would have put a huge smile on her face. 

The other thing that haunts me is that now that she is gone, my cell phone does not ring every day like it used to. I miss being called by her 2 to even 4 times a day every single day. I kept her cell phone and still have it and use it. 

I even miss her snapping at me when I miss a turn while driving, "HEY, you missed the turn."  I miss her reminding me to buy cat food and dog food for my pets. I miss her bugging me about cleaning my house. 

When you have someone in your life, like your Grandmother, or my Mother, whom supports you and loves you have everything.

[Nay_Sayer]

If I should die, and leave you here awhile
Be not like others sore undone, who keep
Long vigils by the silent dust and weep.
For my sake, turn again to life, and smile,
Nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do
Something to comfort weaker hearts than thine.
Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine,
And I, perchance, may therein comfort you.

[Brian37]

If I should die, and leave you here awhile
Be not like others sore undone, who keep
Long vigils by the silent dust and weep.
For my sake, turn again to life, and smile,
Nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do
Something to comfort weaker hearts than thine.
Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine,
And I, perchance, may therein comfort you.

That is awesome. My mom would have loved this. What is that from?

[Nay_Sayer]

If I should die, and leave you here awhile
Be not like others sore undone, who keep
Long vigils by the silent dust and weep.
For my sake, turn again to life, and smile,
Nerving thy heart and trembling hand to do
Something to comfort weaker hearts than thine.
Complete these dear unfinished tasks of mine,
And I, perchance, may therein comfort you.

That is awesome. My mom would have loved this. What is that from?

Mary Lee Hall, It was something I had found when searching for a poem to read at my fathers funeral.

[Brian37]

That is awesome. My mom would have loved this. What is that from?

Mary Lee Hall, It was something I had found when searching for a poem to read at my fathers funeral.

I just looked her up on wiki. Beautiful poem. But, the "leave you here for a while" looking at a picture of Marry wearing a cross, cringe worthy knowing we don't get an afterlife. My Mom had known since the mid 90s I was an atheist. But outside that one line, I agree, don't dwell in sorrow. And my Mom, even in her last days expressed concern to others about how I would handle it. She did not want me to stagnate in sorrow. 

The funny thing is that my Mom was a mostly republican voter her entire life. We'd agree on just about everything but as soon as I mentioned party, she'd run from the conversation. 

I'd bet Marry Hall and my Mom would have been friends if they had known each other and lived at the same time. Great poem to read on behalf of your father too.

Thanks for posting that.

[Nay_Sayer]

Mary Lee Hall, It was something I had found when searching for a poem to read at my fathers funeral.

I just looked her up on wiki. Beautiful poem. But, the "leave you here for a while" looking at a picture of Marry wearing a cross, cringe worthy knowing we don't get an afterlife. My Mom had known since the mid 90s I was an atheist. But outside that one line, I agree, don't dwell in sorrow. And my Mom, even in her last days expressed concern to others about how I would handle it. She did not want me to stagnate in sorrow. 

The funny thing is that my Mom was a mostly republican voter her entire life. We'd agree on just about everything but as soon as I mentioned party, she'd run from the conversation. 

I'd bet Marry Hall and my Mom would have been friends if they had known each other and lived at the same time. Great poem to read on behalf of your father too.

Thanks for posting that.

My father was an atheist and it mostly captured his attitude of enjoying life and not dwelling on the negatives, I took that with me and enjoy every day I get with my weird family. 

Obviously, Mary had other intentions but as you said it suffices.

Peace, prosperity, and pasta. 

[Brian37]

This time last year, my mom was still in the long term care home after her surgery in the late summer. Hurricane Matthew was about to hit us and what did she worry about? Me and my pets. I was worried about her place flooding, but it did not. 

Had a dream about her last night, I am betting that having the TV on talking about the storm might have triggered it. I dreamed that she wanted some paperwork to send to get a refund for something on her taxes. My mom kept very accurate accurate records in reality, but in this dream she kept asking me where I had put it, and I kept putting it down and forgetting where I had put it. In the dream I was mad at myself for misplacing it because I didn't want to disappoint her.

While it was a dream, in reality, my mom constantly worried about me, her putting things where they go was something that never rubbed off on me. And I was always worried about her big appointments, like missing a turn or getting lost going to Duke. Every time she had a big appointment I could not sleep the night before. 

I am thinking the news story got into my dream because I remembered fearing getting stuck back then and not being able to get to her. I had to go home because of my pets.

[Brian37]

I am crying once again because my Mom's college team is playing Penn State, and Ohio is behind right now. I want Ohio to win just because. The worst part is that I cant call her either way. 

GO BUCKEYES!

[Brian37]

I fell asleep at halftime only to wake up after to find out OHIO STATE WON! My mom would have called me and woken me up to tell me. Ohio beat Penn State 39 to 38.