Alright this thread is simply for me to document my crazy coworker and to have someone to laugh at the things he does with. I will update it periodically but for now I have to get all these crazy moments off my chest. Those with me on Facebook have already heard two of them but I can't keep harassing Facebook so now y'all get to suffer. 
Okay so he has worked here since Jan 31st so it's been just over a month and he has said/done these:
He is a huge Star Wars nerd (which in itself isn't bad) When he does something right during his training he comments on how he had channeled the dark side. K that was funny the first few times. His baby is due in April and he already has the name picked out... Anakin. Couldn’t go with Luke nooooo that isn't from the dark side.
He is a huge Christian metal head, yes it's a weird as it sounds, but he is also super into organic shit so at any given time he is doing something weird. First he had an 'allergic reaction' to all the oregano he put in his tea when he was trying to cleanse his body. He freaked out over the 'red spots' all over his face. Mind you he didn't look any different and I am married to a paramedic so I know what to look for. He wasn't itchy, wasn't red, wasn't having any trouble breathing just claimed to be having a reaction and that his face was bright red. He went over my head when I told him just to take some medicine that has antihistamine in it, to my boss cause he got a better reaction out of her.
Then he commented how he wasn't sure if being gay wasn't actually a choice.
9/11 was an inside job.
He jumped back to being a hypochondriac yesterday and today by saying his hand was all red and swollen and he didn't know why. Again couldn't see any redness nor swelling. Told him to ice it if it hurt yesterday but he didn't. Complained again today so I told him to ice it again or take some medicine. Instead he said he didn't want to put chemicals in his body.
Speaking of chemicals he wants to open his own natural oils business so that he can produce skin care options naturally, which again in itself isn't bad, but he doesn't know anything about them seeing how he had an 'allergic reaction' to overdosing on oregano.
Then yesterday he told me he can taste the difference between organic green tea and regular cause regular tastes like boiled spinach. I honestly couldn't hold my face straight on that one.
Just as I was typing this he told someone else that Whataburger fries were 'not as fake' as McDonalds' as if they aren't made with potatoes...
Okay I know this is too long and most of y'all will be like yeah didn't read that but this is more for me than you lol
Okay so he has worked here since Jan 31st so it's been just over a month and he has said/done these:
He is a huge Star Wars nerd (which in itself isn't bad) When he does something right during his training he comments on how he had channeled the dark side. K that was funny the first few times. His baby is due in April and he already has the name picked out... Anakin. Couldn’t go with Luke nooooo that isn't from the dark side.
He is a huge Christian metal head, yes it's a weird as it sounds, but he is also super into organic shit so at any given time he is doing something weird. First he had an 'allergic reaction' to all the oregano he put in his tea when he was trying to cleanse his body. He freaked out over the 'red spots' all over his face. Mind you he didn't look any different and I am married to a paramedic so I know what to look for. He wasn't itchy, wasn't red, wasn't having any trouble breathing just claimed to be having a reaction and that his face was bright red. He went over my head when I told him just to take some medicine that has antihistamine in it, to my boss cause he got a better reaction out of her.
Then he commented how he wasn't sure if being gay wasn't actually a choice.
9/11 was an inside job.
He jumped back to being a hypochondriac yesterday and today by saying his hand was all red and swollen and he didn't know why. Again couldn't see any redness nor swelling. Told him to ice it if it hurt yesterday but he didn't. Complained again today so I told him to ice it again or take some medicine. Instead he said he didn't want to put chemicals in his body.
Speaking of chemicals he wants to open his own natural oils business so that he can produce skin care options naturally, which again in itself isn't bad, but he doesn't know anything about them seeing how he had an 'allergic reaction' to overdosing on oregano.
Then yesterday he told me he can taste the difference between organic green tea and regular cause regular tastes like boiled spinach. I honestly couldn't hold my face straight on that one.
Just as I was typing this he told someone else that Whataburger fries were 'not as fake' as McDonalds' as if they aren't made with potatoes...
Okay I know this is too long and most of y'all will be like yeah didn't read that but this is more for me than you lol
“What screws us up the most in life is the picture in our head of what it's supposed to be.”
Also if your signature makes my scrolling mess up "you're tacky and I hate you."
Also if your signature makes my scrolling mess up "you're tacky and I hate you."
(pester tibs via pm if you need invite) 
![[Image: tmPmhjd.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=i.imgur.com%2FtmPmhjd.jpg)
