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How to Make God Laugh
November 22, 2017 at 11:25 pm
(This post was last modified: November 22, 2017 at 11:26 pm by Haipule.)
Making God laugh is difficult but, not impossible. God may already know your punchline but, the angles with him do not. If you can make those angels laugh, you can make God laugh, because laughter is infectious. I suggest reverse phycology.
"God!" "I bet You CAN'T buy me that winning lottery ticket!" Oh yeah...You can try but, I don't think You can do it!" "I'll bet You $20 bucks You can't do it!"
"If I win the $200,000,000, I am a man of my word and I will put $20 bucks in the offering plate on Sunday" "If I don't win, then You owe me $20 bucks!"
Then I, pulling $40 dollars out of my wallet say, "That's right, last week we went double or nothing!"
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RE: How to Make God Laugh
November 22, 2017 at 11:29 pm
*sigh*
Nay_Sayer: “Nothing is impossible if you dream big enough, or in this case, nothing is impossible if you use a barrel of KY Jelly and a miniature horse.”
Wiser words were never spoken.
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RE: How to Make God Laugh
November 22, 2017 at 11:39 pm
Ask this omnipotent, omniscient, omnipresent god if he can change his mind?
It's amazing 'science' always seems to 'find' whatever it is funded for, and never the oppsite. Drich.
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RE: How to Make God Laugh
November 22, 2017 at 11:39 pm
Make God laugh ?
Try chortling His testicles.
The granting of a pardon is an imputation of guilt, and the acceptance a confession of it.
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RE: How to Make God Laugh
November 22, 2017 at 11:42 pm
(November 22, 2017 at 11:39 pm)vorlon13 Wrote: Make God laugh ?
Try chortling His testicles.
Not it!
Nay_Sayer: “Nothing is impossible if you dream big enough, or in this case, nothing is impossible if you use a barrel of KY Jelly and a miniature horse.”
Wiser words were never spoken.
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RE: How to Make God Laugh
November 22, 2017 at 11:45 pm
God knows everything.
So I'll make a deal.
I'll ask a question if he can't answer I get a million bucks.
He'll ask me a question if I can't answer I'll give him 100 bucks.
My question will be "what animal has 6 legs going up a staircase and 5 legs coming down?"
God will think and think and think and there's no way he can find a answer.
He'll finally give up and give me my million.
He'll be like, "So what's the answer then?"
I'll reach into my pocket and hand him my 100 bucks ?
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RE: How to Make God Laugh
November 22, 2017 at 11:50 pm
String! Or nothing.
It's amazing 'science' always seems to 'find' whatever it is funded for, and never the oppsite. Drich.
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RE: How to Make God Laugh
November 23, 2017 at 12:04 am
(November 22, 2017 at 11:45 pm)pool the matey Wrote: God knows everything.
I never understood where people got this idea. A cursory reading of the bible reveals that God doesn't know a lot of stuff. He asked Adam if he had eaten the fruit. He should have already known! He asked Cain where his brother was. He experienced regret after the flood. He had to send angels to find out if there were really just men in Sodom. And that's just Genesis.
So why does God ask these things if he already knows them? Is he just fucking with people?
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RE: How to Make God Laugh
November 23, 2017 at 12:04 am
(This post was last modified: November 23, 2017 at 12:06 am by Whateverist.)
(November 22, 2017 at 11:25 pm)Haipule Wrote: Making God laugh is difficult but, not impossible. God may already know your punchline but, the angles with him do not. If you can make those angels laugh, you can make God laugh, because laughter is infectious. I suggest reverse phycology.
"God!" "I bet You CAN'T buy me that winning lottery ticket!" Oh yeah...You can try but, I don't think You can do it!" "I'll bet You $20 bucks You can't do it!"
"If I win the $200,000,000, I am a man of my word and I will put $20 bucks in the offering plate on Sunday" "If I don't win, then You owe me $20 bucks!"
Then I, pulling $40 dollars out of my wallet say, "That's right, last week we went double or nothing!"
There is "God" in the title, I'll grant you, but really this is a better fit in the "Humor" section. You have to scroll down quite a bit. It's after "The Arts" section in the "Discussion" sub-forum just before the start of "The Pit" sub-forum. While lots of us are into humor some mods could eventually get pissy about the placement. Just in case you're having trouble locating it, here is a link:
https://atheistforums.org/forum-41.html
(November 23, 2017 at 12:04 am)vulcanlogician Wrote: (November 22, 2017 at 11:45 pm)pool the matey Wrote: God knows everything.
I never understood where people got this idea. A cursory reading of the bible reveals that God doesn't know a lot of stuff. He asked Adam if he had eaten the fruit. He should have already known! He asked Cain where his brother was. He experienced regret after the flood. He had to send angels to find out if there were really just men in Sodom. And that's just Genesis.
So why does God ask these things if he already knows them? Is he just fucking with people?
That explains it, most of those who trust it unflinchingly on every word don't care to read it.
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RE: How to Make God Laugh
November 23, 2017 at 1:59 am
(November 23, 2017 at 12:04 am)vulcanlogician Wrote: (November 22, 2017 at 11:45 pm)pool the matey Wrote: God knows everything.
I never understood where people got this idea. A cursory reading of the bible reveals that God doesn't know a lot of stuff. He asked Adam if he had eaten the fruit. He should have already known! He asked Cain where his brother was. He experienced regret after the flood. He had to send angels to find out if there were really just men in Sodom. And that's just Genesis.
So why does God ask these things if he already knows them? Is he just fucking with people?
More likely just piss-poor editing.
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