Funny human rituals

[J a c k]

I people watch. I people watch all the time. I’m the weirdo sitting at the end of the bar by the wall looking busy on her phone (probably scrolling AF), who’s probably watching you. I see the dude who's trying too hard and finishes every sentence with “bruh”. I see the chick who seems frustrated at the lack of attention, because she probably gets it all the time. Tough crowd? I watch your hands as they tap your legs, because you’re thinking of what to say next that will make you look cool, but you’re struggling to come up with something. I see your drink isn’t going down or it’s going down too fast. I see you bitch to the server and instantly become unattractive. I hear your voice go nasal when you’re talking to that person you want. Heh

Then it gets funny. We’re funny creatures. Humans do funny things. Ever thought about the shape of your nose, then looked at yourself in the mirror, and since you’re thinking of your nose, all of a sudden it looks bigger than normal? It’s right there taking up the whole center of your face! Wth!

Well, when I think of funny human rituals, they stand out as funny more.

- shaking hands. Lol! What is it? We take our hand and place it in someone else’s hand, then we go up and down. Come on. That’s funny.
-smiles. We show our teeth to another human. Lol we show our teeth!
-winks. Who came up with that? Lol We close one eye and it means something.
-long hair in women. It’s just so funny to think about. We let our head fur grow, but eliminate the rest of the fur, and this fur hangs from our head.
-kisses. Two people bring the part of their body that eats together and then move stuff around and exchange saliva. We don’t kiss with our eyes, or nose. Our mouths play with each other and it’s quite funny.

I could go on. Also, I fully accept that it’s very possible that it’s just me being a weirdo thinking these unnecessary things. Carry on.  

[Minimalist]

Very observant.

[J a c k]

Very observant.

Or easily amused.

[rskovride]

I recently found that trading part of your life for fiat currency is a pretty funny thing to do. Its funny that we have fallen victim to that particular trap. The rat race.

[The Valkyrie]

Begging for mercy when they know it won't be forthcoming.

Screaming for help when they know they're in a soundproof room.

Praying when they know it won't help.

[J a c k]

Begging for mercy when they know it won't be forthcoming.

Screaming for help when they know they're in a soundproof room.

Praying when they know it won't help.

Sometimes I picture you typing these things in a basement while your victims hang from the ceiling. You, hiding in plain sight.

[ignoramus]

Jack all good valid points...

I just want to know why is it so funny when I release some built up gasses inside me at the supermarket checkout? The kiddies can't stop giggling

[J a c k]

-clapping. We slap our hands together over and over again to make noise. Someone performed well and the crowd of humans starts to slap hands at the same time and this means something. Lol

[vulcanlogician]

Somebody says something "funny" and the people who hear it have involuntary contractions of the diaphragm and loudly make the sound "Ha!" an indeterminate number of times, proportionally related to how "funny" the statement was.

[paulpablo]

Where I'm from around Manchester England people ask each other if they're alright as a greeting but it's not like proper asking.

Its like saying "alright?" And then the other person doesn't answer they reply with "alright John?" or something like that. Both asking but neither answers.

Its basically a lazy getting to the point way of saying "hello how are you today? Not bad thanks and how are you? Not bad thanks."

If I'm in the mood to be theatrical I'll reply to "alright?" With "It's not important if I'm alright, I want to know how you are, because that's the important thing."