I asked a girl out....

[Edwardo Piet]

Don’t sweat it, MK.  There are lots of ladies out there.

I honestly feel for you guys though.  If I always had to do the asking, I’d be alone forever.  My fragile ego cannot handle rejection.

When I was a teen and in my early 20s I also used to have a very fragile ego, and getting rejected hurt. But hormones at that age are a cluster pluck! I am glad I am older because you do learn over time eventually someone will say yes. The key is not to focus on the rejection, move on.

It's been said many many times before to me, but the way you phrased this post almost feels like it actually might help me. I think it's something to do with how you also mentioned how you struggled when you were younger but you have since learned, which gives me more hopeful expectations regarding the fact that I've so far only struggled myself.

Hell, there may even be a lady out there who is way out of my league both physically and mentally, but who thinks she isn't and still would say yes if I asked her

And if her self-esteem is low when it shouldn't be. That is sad but I have low self-esteem too, and I'm sure there's many women who aren't good enough for me that I'd happily lower myself to (like, I had a gf in real life, who I refer to as my "ex-roommate" who was abusive towards me and awful. But for a very long time I felt like I wasn't too good for her and like I deserved her.)... so it's swings and roundabouts, it all evens out.

And for those unfamilar with the British slang idiom, "swings and roundabouts" here is the definition:

BRITISH
a situation in which different actions or options result in no eventual gain or loss.

I fucking LOVE that idiom.

[Brian37]

I liked how she looked true. But I liked her personality as well.

I get that dude, but what are you going to do? It may not feel good no, but EVERYONE gets rejected. I was your age myself. I've been rejected plenty of times. Don't dwell on it, it isn't worth it. Time and maturity, but most importantly, working on yourself is far more important than trying to impress others. Look MK, I know I blaspheme your religion, but this is a completely different subject here. I HAVE BEEN WHERE YOU ARE AT WITH GIRLS, trust me, don't dwell on it, move on. You will get rejected more times before you find one that says yes. 

I'd prefer a quick no, than a girl to be polite to me, go on several dates, only to discover she didn't want to hurt me. I hate that and I have had that happen. It is a waste of time. 

The other thing is even if one says yes, you should NEVER go  into a relationship expecting a utopia forever. Humans are entitled to change their minds over time. I still am friends with my X wife and very happy for what she went on to do without me. What mattered to me was that I met her and had time with her, but she also had a right to leave me too because she was not happy. 

If you just relax and stop chasing fantasy, focus on you, eventually it will happen. But you will scare women away if you come across as too aggressive, too romantic too quickly, or a stalker. Being yourself has to be about YOU, not them. Accept you first don't force any relationship, even with mere friends.

[rskovride]

Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts. -Churchill

I'm pretty sure he wasn't talking about asking a girl out, but it still applies. Keep putting yourself out there, do it a lot. It will happen and the sting of rejection will lessen.

[Edwardo Piet]

Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts. -Churchill

That's going in my sig.

Not as a representation of how I do live, and not as a representation of how I expect to live, but of how I wish to live.

[Brian37]

Success is not final, failure is not fatal; it is the courage to continue that counts. -Churchill

That's going in my sig.

Not as a representation of how I do live, and not as a representation of how I expect to live, but of how I wish to live.

I don't know what is in my cig. HA, I made  funny. 

[brewer]

Next time you might try asking a group. There's less pressure on you and the group.

[Edwardo Piet]

Next time you might try asking a group. There's less pressure on you and the group.

Asking out a group of girls? Wouldn't that be even more awkward?

[brewer]

Next time you might try asking a group. There's less pressure on you and the group.

Asking out a group of girls? Wouldn't that be even more awkward?

They could be all girls, they don't have to be.

[Edwardo Piet]

Asking out a group of girls? Wouldn't that be even more awkward?

They could be all girls, they don't have to be.

Asking out a group of people, as opposed to asking out one person, wouldn't that be even more awkward (than just asking out one person)?

[Brian37]

Next time you might try asking a group. There's less pressure on you and the group.

Asking out a group of girls? Wouldn't that be even more awkward?

Single or group, I sucked at asking a female out in both.

My success came when I wasn't looking for it. Even with just making new friends outside of dating. If you go out trying too hard to impress, people see through you. If you simply be yourself, and relax, you wont be stressed. Don't go into a social situation with expectations, just go and see what happens. Sometimes you connect, sometimes you don't.

If you go into it with a script of how it should go, you increase your anxiety. If you just go and have fun, people see that.