sorry for the late notice

[The Valkyrie]

Sincere condolences for your loss.

[Nay_Sayer]

My deepest condolences for your loss.

I've been through messy inheritances.

[Aegon]

I know it's been a few weeks and it may be one or two more to try and get back to normal after my father died. his estate is a mess as he left a non family member incharge of his will. will check in from time to time

I'm very sorry for your loss. Do whatever you need to do to keep your head up and your feet on the ground.

[Angrboda]

My sincere condolences, Drich. I'm sorry to hear about your loss.

[arewethereyet]

I am sorry for your loss and I hope the legal stuff doesn't add too much to the pain.

[Drich]

To all well wishers thank you for your support. I know we may not all see eye on most things but it is a good to be reminded from time to time that we are all still people at the end of the day.

Non family member. That speaks loads.

Then please explain it..

Explain why he would leave a financial advisor in charge to pay all the burial costs the outstanding bills... one who did not want to issue a check for the burial costs, but rather reimburse the family in 7 weeks.

The idea was to make things easier but in fact this person is making everything more difficult. it took 5 days longer to bury him than it should have. we made all of the arrangements and all the executor had to do was approve and write a check. the only phone calls he made to the funeral home was to try and sneek an advanced copy of the death certificate.

That said the executors job is to simply disburse funds as the will out lines. none of which was done in a timely manor. So I had to pay everything and as such now retain executorship. (which was apart of the will, if the elected executor could not do his tasked duties with in a timely manner executorship would fall to me.) So now because I am not familiar with all of the probate laws and because of the money involved we have to now also retain a lawyer on top of paying for the funeral.

I spend the day yesterday running papers to the lawyer.

So if you know why he did all of this outside of some missguided attempt to 'make things easier for the family.' please by all means help a grieving family try and understand while we try and keep my mom in her house, bury my father and pay for a lawyer. plus not default on our own lives/debt.

[Jackalope]

Probate can indeed be a lengthy process. My father passed in November and probate won't conclude until June or July. The process in Oregon appears to be designed as job security for attorneys.

[Losty]

To all well wishers thank you for your support. I know we may not all see eye on most things but it is a good to be reminded from time to time that we are all still people at the end of the day.

Non family member. That speaks loads.

Then please explain it..

Explain why he would leave a financial advisor in charge to pay all the burial costs the outstanding bills... one who did not want to issue a check for the burial costs, but rather reimburse the family in 7 weeks.

The idea was to make things easier but in fact this person is making everything more difficult. it took 5 days longer to bury him than it should have. we made all of the arrangements and all the executor had to do was approve and write a check. the only phone calls he made to the funeral home was to try and sneek an advanced copy of the death certificate.

That said the executors job is to simply disburse funds as the will out lines. none of which was done in a timely manor. So I had to pay everything and as such now retain executorship. (which was apart of the will, if the elected executor could not do his tasked duties with in a timely manner executorship would fall to me.) So now because I am not familiar with all of the probate laws and because of the money involved we have to now also retain a lawyer on top of paying for the funeral.

I spend the day yesterday running papers to the lawyer.

So if you know why he did all of this outside of some missguided attempt to 'make things easier for the family.' please by all means help a grieving family try and understand while we try and keep my mom in her house, bury my father and pay for a lawyer. plus not default on our own lives/debt.

That’s really hard, Drich
I’m sure he had good intentions

[Rev. Rye]

Condolences. Both for your father and going thru the estate process.

Yeah, that can be extremely complicated. I know that when my Grandma died, it took several years for us to get everything settled, and it took eight years to get everything settled. And in that time, two of her three kids died (including my mother.)

And losing one's father must be far worse. Unless, of course, he was an abusive prick. Still, if mine died, I'm not sure what I'd do.

---

So if you know why he did all of this outside of some missguided attempt to 'make things easier for the family.' please by all means help a grieving family try and understand while we try and keep my mom in her house, bury my father and pay for a lawyer. plus not default on our own lives/debt.

I didn't know the exact nature of the estate process in Grandma's case, but I think it was handled by the family, and since my mother and both of her brothers made a truly dysfunctional brood (mother was diagnosed with Narcissistic and Histrionic personality disorders, one brother we strongly suspect is a sociopath, and the other brother, well, I think he was on the autism spectrum [so that's the side of the family I got it from], especially with his numerous obsessions, like Dr. Who and NASA, and while I don't think that played a role in the negotiations, the fact that he lived at home until his health started to fail certainly did), I start to wonder if maybe having an outside party do it might have been worth it. Then again, your case shows it probably wouldn't have been much better.

[pocaracas]

I know it's been a few weeks and it may be one or two more to try and get back to normal after my father died. his estate is a mess as he left a non family member incharge of his will. will check in from time to time

I rarely click on the "today's posts", so I'm only now reading this.

Man, my condolences!
No matter if it was expected or unexpected, it's always difficult and it seems you have a guy around that's not helping things at a time when you just want it done and not have to worry about anything.
Best of luck with the next steps.