Posts: 1211
Threads: 38
Joined: July 15, 2010
Reputation:
21
RE: Something I would ask a priest.
February 22, 2011 at 2:30 pm
Clearly, in heaven, everyone shits cinnimon rolls.
I thought everyone knew this.
If today you can take a thing like evolution and make it a crime to teach in the public schools, tomorrow you can make it a crime to teach it in the private schools and next year you can make it a crime to teach it to the hustings or in the church. At the next session you may ban books and the newspapers...
Ignorance and fanaticism are ever busy and need feeding. Always feeding and gloating for more. Today it is the public school teachers; tomorrow the private. The next day the preachers and the lecturers, the magazines, the books, the newspapers. After a while, Your Honor, it is the setting of man against man and creed against creed until with flying banners and beating drums we are marching backward to the glorious ages of the sixteenth centry when bigots lighted fagots to burn the men who dared to bring any intelligence and enlightenment and culture to the human mind. ~Clarence Darrow, at the Scopes Monkey Trial, 1925
Politics is supposed to be the second-oldest profession. I have come to realize that it bears a very close resemblance to the first. ~Ronald Reagan
Posts: 43162
Threads: 720
Joined: September 21, 2008
Reputation:
133
RE: Something I would ask a priest.
February 22, 2011 at 2:34 pm
Or mint?
Posts: 1497
Threads: 29
Joined: February 16, 2010
Reputation:
23
RE: Something I would ask a priest.
February 22, 2011 at 2:59 pm
(February 22, 2011 at 12:42 pm)DoubtVsFaith Wrote: Well whatever the entertainment is, it's supposed to be heavenly.
What if you're a pornhound and you go to heaven to discover there's no porn. Would you truly consider it to be heaven?
Science flies us to the moon and stars. Religion flies us into buildings.
God allowed 200,000 people to die in an earthquake. So what makes you think he cares about YOUR problems?
Posts: 5097
Threads: 207
Joined: February 16, 2011
Reputation:
44
RE: Something I would ask a priest.
February 22, 2011 at 11:27 pm
(This post was last modified: February 22, 2011 at 11:28 pm by reverendjeremiah.)
(February 19, 2011 at 11:57 pm)Itslikebeingshiton Wrote: I guess i would need to know if you would need toilet paper in heaven. Am I going to have to take a shit every day in Heaven like I do on Earth? Does god have to take shits? Does he wipe his ass with Demon wings? If so then why does God have to take a shit? Well. I would suggest using the reliable Bible for the source of your answer. It says that men were made in gods image, so yes, you will be shitting in Heaven.
...BUTT...(pardon the pun)
You will shit down the holy poo shoot, which goes down into Hell and the inhabitants thereof must partake of it as if it were beef stew.
Im sure God keeps plenty of Charmin around... "its like baby boy angel butt soft"..."dont squeeze the Charmin, thats how they can tell if you are Catholic".
Posts: 870
Threads: 32
Joined: June 19, 2010
Reputation:
3
RE: Something I would ask a priest.
February 24, 2011 at 2:38 pm
Honestly i consider the "order of the stick"(a webcomic) version of Lawful good heaven pretty cool
Posts: 328
Threads: 25
Joined: August 15, 2010
Reputation:
4
RE: Something I would ask a priest.
February 24, 2011 at 4:12 pm
(February 22, 2011 at 12:41 pm)Thor Wrote: I want to know what kind of entertainment thay have in heaven. If you're stuck there for eternity I think it would get pretty damn boring after a few centuries.
Singing praises to the holy one, I suspect. Maybe watch Jacob wrestle with God some more. That could replace Monday Night Raw.
Our Daily Train blog at jeremystyron.com
---
We have lingered in the chambers of the sea | By sea-girls wreathed with seaweed red and brown | Till human voices wake us, and we drown. — T.S. Eliot
"... man always has to decide for himself in the darkness, that he must want beyond what he knows. ..." — Simone de Beauvoir
"As if that blind rage had washed me clean, rid me of hope; for the first time, in that night alive with signs and stars, I opened myself to the gentle indifference of the world. Finding it so much like myself—so like a brother, really—I felt that I had been happy and that I was happy again." — Albert Camus, "The Stranger"
---
Posts: 1497
Threads: 29
Joined: February 16, 2010
Reputation:
23
RE: Something I would ask a priest.
February 24, 2011 at 4:47 pm
(February 24, 2011 at 4:12 pm)everythingafter Wrote: (February 22, 2011 at 12:41 pm)Thor Wrote: I want to know what kind of entertainment thay have in heaven. If you're stuck there for eternity I think it would get pretty damn boring after a few centuries.
Singing praises to the holy one, I suspect. Maybe watch Jacob wrestle with God some more. That could replace Monday Night Raw.
Maybe some Jesus vs. Satan wrestling?
Science flies us to the moon and stars. Religion flies us into buildings.
God allowed 200,000 people to die in an earthquake. So what makes you think he cares about YOUR problems?
Posts: 8
Threads: 2
Joined: February 19, 2011
Reputation:
0
RE: Something I would ask a priest.
March 19, 2011 at 5:51 am
(February 20, 2011 at 12:49 am)Zen Badger Wrote: Do you have a thing for faeces?
No, I just think about a lot of things in the time it takes me to take a shit. And when i smell shit it reminds me of religion for some reason. So, I suppose you figured out that I made this post immediately after taking a bowl staining shit and wondered if this activity would be necessary in the supposed afterlife that a lot of delusional people like to consider.
This post, however, is shit free.
Posts: 14259
Threads: 48
Joined: March 1, 2009
Reputation:
80
RE: Something I would ask a priest.
March 19, 2011 at 6:21 am
(March 19, 2011 at 5:51 am)Itslikebeingshiton Wrote: This post, however, is shit free. To you maybe!
Posts: 8
Threads: 2
Joined: February 19, 2011
Reputation:
0
RE: Something I would ask a priest.
March 19, 2011 at 6:27 am
(March 19, 2011 at 6:21 am)fr0d0 Wrote: (March 19, 2011 at 5:51 am)Itslikebeingshiton Wrote: This post, however, is shit free. To you maybe!
Congrats! Enjoy the shit you have now discovered.
|
