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Atheist Forums › Community › Lifestyle & Personal Matters v
[Serious] Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.

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[Serious] Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
Porcupine Offline
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#1
Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
July 15, 2020 at 6:23 pm (This post was last modified: July 15, 2020 at 6:24 pm by Porcupine.)
If you find the perfect match for you romantic relationship-wise but then you lose them ... then what?
"Zen … does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts
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Ranjr Offline
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#2
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
July 15, 2020 at 6:33 pm
Re-evaluate your criteria for perfect.
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brewer Offline Donators
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#3
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
July 15, 2020 at 6:33 pm (This post was last modified: July 15, 2020 at 6:34 pm by brewer.)
I'd question your definition of perfect and/or relationship. I don't believe in "soul mate".

Then what?........ whatever you want.

Edit: Damn ninja's.
Being told you're delusional does not necessarily mean you're mental. 
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Porcupine Offline
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#4
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
July 15, 2020 at 6:35 pm (This post was last modified: July 15, 2020 at 6:37 pm by Porcupine.)
(July 15, 2020 at 6:33 pm)brewer Wrote: I'd question your definition of perfect and/or relationship. I don't believe in "soul mate".

Then what?........ whatever you want.

Edit: Damn ninja's.

To me a soul mate is a person is a person who is so great that you will never meet somebody that great again before you die.

I agree that there is no teleology or divine purpose that assigns us to one person. But there may be somebody so amazing for us that once we meet them they're really a one in a million and the chances are basically zero that you'll ever meet somebody that amazing again before you die.

(July 15, 2020 at 6:33 pm)Ranjr Wrote: Re-evaluate your criteria for perfect.

Perfect = perfect for me.

I don't know how to re-evaluate that. Perfect for me is the perfect match for me.

Is a life without sex and romance worth living it as a monogamous person who doesn't want to ever settle for second best? I'm not asexual or aromantic.
"Zen … does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts
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Shell B Offline
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#5
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
July 15, 2020 at 6:38 pm
It's very unusual to find two people equally great in the same ways, but being unable to find someone with whom you can have a happy life? I don't think that's likely.
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Porcupine Offline
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#6
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
July 15, 2020 at 6:41 pm (This post was last modified: July 15, 2020 at 6:42 pm by Porcupine.)
But I can have a happy life being single.

EDIT: But without a person who is right for me I feel like I only have happiness in a very shallow---i.e. non-deep---sense.
"Zen … does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#7
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
July 15, 2020 at 6:42 pm
If you lost them (other than through death), then they clearly weren’t ‘perfect’.

Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Porcupine Offline
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#8
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
July 15, 2020 at 6:45 pm
(July 15, 2020 at 6:42 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: If you lost them (other than through death), then they clearly weren’t ‘perfect’.

Boru

But what about the possibility that they were slightly too good for me. Not because they are egotistical. But because they really do deserve slightly better. This may mean that I deserve slightly worse ... but it may also be true that they will never find anybody better than me but I'm still not good enough and they're better off alone. Is this making sense?
"Zen … does not confuse spirituality with thinking about God while one is peeling potatoes. Zen spirituality is just to peel the potatoes." - Alan Watts
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Rhizomorph13 Offline
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#9
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
July 15, 2020 at 6:48 pm




Every person in every couple you have ever met has failed in every relationship except the one they are currently in and even that one might end at any moment. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you know what else is in the sea? microplastics.
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BrianSoddingBoru4 Offline
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#10
RE: Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.
July 15, 2020 at 6:49 pm
(July 15, 2020 at 6:45 pm)ModusPonens1 Wrote:
(July 15, 2020 at 6:42 pm)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: If you lost them (other than through death), then they clearly weren’t ‘perfect’.

Boru

But what about the possibility that they were slightly too good for me. Not because they are egotistical. But because they really do deserve slightly better.  This may mean that I deserve slightly worse ... but it may also be true that they will never find anybody better than me but I'm still not good enough and they're better off alone. Is this making sense?

If they were too good for you, then they weren’t perfect for you. Is sounds as if you're describing an obsession and not a relationship.


Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
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Atheist Forums › Community › Lifestyle & Personal Matters v
[Serious] Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.

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