[Serious] Relationships: Finding your perfect match and then losing them.

[Porcupine]

Every person in every couple you have ever met has failed in every relationship except the one they are currently in and even that one might end at any moment. There are plenty of fish in the sea, but you know what else is in the sea? microplastics.

I love that song. It really emphasizes that the other person isn't really perfect. I love Tim Minchin.

But I do think that the other person can be really rare and so rare that you will never meet somebody so awesome ever again in your mere lifetime because life is short.

---

But what about the possibility that they were slightly too good for me. Not because they are egotistical. But because they really do deserve slightly better.  This may mean that I deserve slightly worse ... but it may also be true that they will never find anybody better than me but I'm still not good enough and they're better off alone. Is this making sense?

If they were too good for you, then they weren’t perfect for you. Is sounds as if you're describing an obsession and not a relationship.


Boru

Slightly too good for me but so slightly that they may not find somebody else as good for them as me but they're still better off, perhaps, without me.

It's not an obsession. Why? Because I can be somewhat happy and live my life without them. It's not an obsession because it's not a need and what we had was mutual.

I'm still just here left wondering what to do and having to wonder if I'll ever meet anybody that I want to be with ever again when any future person will always live under their shadow.

[chimp3]

If you find the perfect match for you romantic relationship-wise but then you lose them ... then what?

Don't take it from me (been divorced twice) but the key to a long relationship is realizing it's not perfect. Neither are you and your S.O..

[Ranjr]

Perfect = perfect for me.

I don't know how to re-evaluate that. Perfect for me is the perfect match for me.

Is a life without sex and romance worth living it as a monogamous person who doesn't want to ever settle for second best? I'm not asexual or aromantic.

You re-evaluate by having more experiences.  Your idea of perfect is very unlikely to match your reality of "perfect."  Ideals only exist in your thoughts.  Physical reality comes as a surprise and is less than perfect.

You sound a little overly dramatic.  I'm sorry the relationship didn't work, and you are hurt.  You need a transition girl.

[Abaddon_ire]

If you find the perfect match for you romantic relationship-wise but then you lose them ... then what?

Then you move on. This myth of the perfect match puzzles me. I suppose Holywood has a lot to answer for.

[Gnomey]

I'm someone who believes that there good be thousands of "perfect" matches out there for me. I'm very lucky to be with one of them right now. But if I were to ever lose him, for whatever reason, I don't think I'd lose hope - I know there must be more awesome people out there. Obviously, I'd be devastated - I love my partner like crazy. It's perfectly normal to mourn someone you've lost. Feel the grief, experience it. Examine it. Work your way through it in whatever way works best for you. On the other side of it, when you're ready, you can start meeting new people. You never know - someone may surprise you.

[Gawdzilla Sama]

Three out of four of my marriages have been very happy. Then two of the ladies died. I moved on. Nothing else I could do.

[brewer]

Happiness is transient and over rated. And I'm not sure I understand "love".

[Rhizomorph13]

I never wanted to marry a woman with kids but when I met my wife she was "31 with two kids, one 6, one 8" That was the first thing she said to me. We've been together almost 10 years. We bought a bottle of Johnny Walker Blue to celebrate.

[Rev. Rye]

[Ranjr]

Heavy stuff, Rev.  Check this out.  Trish the Dish is 5' 7", 120 lbs, blonde, blue eyes, curvy, perky, half Irish, half Puerto Rican, upbeat, affectionate, little Mary sunshine.

Her feet are hideous.  Veiny, with tendons protruding like cypress roots, Prince Charming would have thrown up in his mouth, then projectile spewed all over them.

Doesn't bother me at all.  Those feet got her here.  Nothing like the sun.