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Can walk on water but turns it into wine instead. DOOH!
January 30, 2021 at 1:00 am
I put this in the humor section because I don't believe it warrants any serious discussion.
But I am curious to hear from apologists.
Why didn't Jesus travel the whole world to spread the word of God? Was God not interested in India, Australia, America?
I mean, God gave Jesus the ability to walk on water, right? But hippie Jesus was more interested in performing parlor tricks in his own neighborhood.
No wonder the old man had him offed!
I know this sounds crazy but is it possible that the bible was written by sheep herders instead who knew nothing of these other great places and their peoples?
Even the King James revision from 1604-1610 wouldn't embellish it because Australia still wasn't discovered by the poms for another 150 years!
Didn't mean to offend any theists, I'm just bored is all
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RE: Can walk on water but turns it into wine instead. DOOH!
January 30, 2021 at 1:39 am
His feet got tired, and he couldn't afford a boat.
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RE: Can walk on water but turns it into wine instead. DOOH!
January 30, 2021 at 2:18 am
walking on water is rough on your feet? Who knew
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RE: Can walk on water but turns it into wine instead. DOOH!
January 30, 2021 at 5:49 am
There are people who claim - with a straight face, no less - that Jesus travelled to Britain, Kashmir, India, Japan and did a grand tour of the Mediterranean. There are also accounts that he visited Russia and the Americas after his resurrection.
This is the religious equivalent of fan fiction.
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RE: Can walk on water but turns it into wine instead. DOOH!
January 30, 2021 at 5:54 am
(This post was last modified: January 30, 2021 at 5:54 am by ignoramus.)
I can understand their logic. It's not that much more of a leap to go from "you can't prove my God doesn't exist" to "you can't prove my Jesus wasn't hanging 5 on the waves in Hawaii at age 53".
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RE: Can walk on water but turns it into wine instead. DOOH!
January 30, 2021 at 7:01 am
(January 30, 2021 at 5:54 am)░I░G░N░O░R░A░M░U░S ░ Wrote: I can understand their logic. It's not that much more of a leap to go from "you can't prove my God doesn't exist" to "you can't prove my Jesus wasn't hanging 5 on the waves in Hawaii at age 53".
One particular loon made the claim that Jesus survived the crucifixion and died in India at the age of 120.
Boru
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RE: Can walk on water but turns it into wine instead. DOOH!
January 30, 2021 at 7:06 am
(January 30, 2021 at 7:01 am)BrianSoddingBoru4 Wrote: (January 30, 2021 at 5:54 am)░I░G░N░O░R░A░M░U░S ░ Wrote: I can understand their logic. It's not that much more of a leap to go from "you can't prove my God doesn't exist" to "you can't prove my Jesus wasn't hanging 5 on the waves in Hawaii at age 53".
One particular loon made the claim that Jesus survived the crucifixion and died in India at the age of 120.
Boru
There's supposedly descendants in Japan.
Jesus was apparently banging his way across the world after he was resurrected...
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RE: Can walk on water but turns it into wine instead. DOOH!
January 30, 2021 at 7:10 am
Correct. He wanted others to know what it felt like to cop a nine incher!
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RE: Can walk on water but turns it into wine instead. DOOH!
January 30, 2021 at 7:14 am
(January 30, 2021 at 7:10 am)░I░G░N░O░R░A░M░U░S ░ Wrote: Correct. He wanted others to know what it felt like to cop a nine incher!
Well, his final words were, "This isn't what I thought he meant when Judas said he'd get me nailed in Jerusalem!"
Playing Cluedo with my mum while I was at Uni:
"You did WHAT? With WHO? WHERE???"
