Posts: 34718
Threads: 200
Joined: August 13, 2012
Reputation:
145
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 17, 2021 at 3:46 am
"I'm not worried. I survived the last one."
"We still have one engine."
"Who is this woman and how did she get into the cockpit?"
Dying to live, living to die.
Posts: 19881
Threads: 324
Joined: July 31, 2016
Reputation:
34
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 17, 2021 at 8:08 am
"This is the head flight attendant speaking. The pilot and co-pilot are currently going through a rather nasty divorce. So you people on the left side of the plane will be going on to your original destination. The people on the right side will be landing in a Wal-mart parking lot near the co-pilot's mother's house for a spot of comfort food."
Posts: 30673
Threads: 2117
Joined: May 24, 2012
Reputation:
71
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 17, 2021 at 10:55 am
Pilot " Thank you passengers for choosing, American Airlines flight 2456, from New York, to Los Angeles, my favorite song is Helter Skelter, a dog talks to me, and I am in to astrology. "
Posts: 27203
Threads: 519
Joined: June 16, 2015
Reputation:
90
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 17, 2021 at 11:32 am
(This post was last modified: February 17, 2021 at 11:33 am by brewer.)
Ladies and gentlemen, due to inclimate weather we will be delayed on the tarmac indefinitely. Please bare with us.
(I did this once for 3 hours)
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
Posts: 19881
Threads: 324
Joined: July 31, 2016
Reputation:
34
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 17, 2021 at 1:14 pm
I actually heard this once: "This is your pilot speaking. Our departure will be delayed a few minutes, the machine that tears the handles of your luggage and punches holes in your suitcases has broken down and your luggage is being loaded manually."
Posts: 15223
Threads: 449
Joined: March 29, 2015
Reputation:
29
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 17, 2021 at 1:42 pm
"Smile, you're on Candid Camera!"
teachings of the Bible are so muddled and self-contradictory that it was possible for Christians to happily burn heretics alive for five long centuries. It was even possible for the most venerated patriarchs of the Church, like St. Augustine and St. Thomas Aquinas, to conclude that heretics should be tortured (Augustine) or killed outright (Aquinas). Martin Luther and John Calvin advocated the wholesale murder of heretics, apostates, Jews, and witches. - Sam Harris, "Letter To A Christian Nation"
Posts: 19881
Threads: 324
Joined: July 31, 2016
Reputation:
34
RE: Things you don't want to hear your pilot say.
February 17, 2021 at 2:49 pm
"This is your captain, Sully Sullenberger."