"There is no sex in heaven".
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Current time: November 21, 2024, 5:28 am
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Stupid things religious people say
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(September 2, 2021 at 7:45 am)Ten Wrote:(September 2, 2021 at 7:00 am)The Grand Nudger Wrote: You can absolutely be gay and lds. Every gay person in the lds is a demonstration of that - and that's a reality that the cult is going to have to navigate if it intends to stay relevant, especially as heterosexuals come to be more aware and more empathetic about the nature of their lives in organizations like these. Churches change when it meets their needs. The Catholic priest in charge of the church in my hometown would not baptize my daughter because I wasn't married. I asked him why she was being punished for something she didn't do...he had no answer. Dad was never big on tithing but a couple girls I knew before and after I had Jen had their babies baptized with no problem. Since the church put out a bulletin a couple times a year listing who gave how much, it was a pretty easy thing to figure out. There was a $$ amount due for sprinkling some holy water. Though I was barely a lukewarm Catholic anyway...that situation cooled things off even more for me and according to my dad was the beginning of the end of his belief. Bet they aren't so quickly turning away souls now. (September 2, 2021 at 7:34 pm)Brian37 Wrote:(September 2, 2021 at 12:18 pm)purplepurpose Wrote: "There is no sex in heaven". The same way they ‘know’ everything else - it’s in the Bible. Boru
‘I can’t be having with this.’ - Esmeralda Weatherwax
I recently got into a debate with a theist on YouTube and was told, for the umpteenth time, that I'm going to Hell. I replied by saying that theists' puerile threats do not impress me. My opponent has abandoned the debate.
"The world is my country; all of humanity are my brethren; and to do good deeds is my religion." (Thomas Paine)
RE: Stupid things religious people say
September 3, 2021 at 8:33 am
(This post was last modified: September 3, 2021 at 8:34 am by no one.)
When I get told that I'm going to hell, I reply with:
I'll just take over, conquer heaven, dethrone god, and impregnate virgins with an army of gay jesuses. There's no sex in heaven. Untrue, all it's residents are fucked!
The Bible is silent on the matter of whether or not there is sex in heaven. The Quran seems to support the notion that there is.
I'm not anti-Christian. I'm anti-stupid.
(September 3, 2021 at 9:37 am)Mister Agenda Wrote: The Bible is silent on the matter of whether or not there is sex in heaven. The Quran seems to support the notion that there is. The Mormons believe there is. But they're Mormons, so, it's probably not sex worth having. (September 3, 2021 at 9:50 am)Ten Wrote:(September 3, 2021 at 9:37 am)Mister Agenda Wrote: The Bible is silent on the matter of whether or not there is sex in heaven. The Quran seems to support the notion that there is. Do Mormons have to wear their magic underwear in heaven? (September 3, 2021 at 9:51 am)arewethereyet Wrote: Do Mormons have to wear their magic underwear in heaven? Probably. You're never supposed to take it off except to bathe or swim. Look how hot and titillating this is. This is how the Mormons will be dressed in the next life. If your Mormon wife(s) are dressed like that in heaven, it'd be like unwrapping a present. Remember when you take off her fig leaf apron(representing Eve's fig leaves when she realized she and Adam were naked) to whip it over your shoulder all cavalier like. Gotta spice it up somehow. |
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