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At 33 years of age, I am being bullied and tired of it.
#1
At 33 years of age, I am being bullied and tired of it.
I have allot of things going on at home and ontop of that I have to deal with junkies who roam our street. They either hang out at the bar at the entrance of the road or by the smack dealer accross the road from our house. One of them hates me simply for just ignoring them. That same junkie back in 2019 tried to rob me. Days after he went around telling people that I'm crazy. One of my other neighbour ( the one that is directly next door to the smack house) has two dogs that I use to help them take care off. 3 - 4 Weeks ago that same junkie passed by while I was feeding the dogs. Told me that he was gonna "take" (kidnapp) me. When I told my mom, she confronted him and he lied and said that he told me to watch out for the dogs. That when I lost it and unloaded on him verbally. The bitch was unphazed, went to the empty land that is directly next door to my home and tried to throw larger than fist sized rocks at us while arguing with us. Called and told the police, they basically said there was nothing they could do legally. He then went around telling people that I'm crazy and that he told me to watch out for the dogs or they'll bite me.

Two weeks after that a family member beat me up I had bandges and the junkie trying the edge me on saying "The dog bite yuh" I just ignored him. Today I went to pat the dogs (they're very friendly to me cuz I use to take care of them) and one of friends of the junkie who is also a junkie tried to edge me on saying "You does interfere with those dogs, You does interfere with those dogs, You Fuck them, You Fucking them". I simply pretended like I never heard anything.

I honestly wish I was never born. It's bad enough that I was born a short man, it worse that I'm not physically strong. I hate how society automatically sees men as strong and abusers when I'm proof that is not the case. I'm tired of being harrased I just want to be left alone. And as much as I hate the American Police I wish some of the Texan Captain America ones were here. I have anxiety disorder and am stressing allot about what went down at home with the family memeber who abuse me and the case in reguards to it, I do not need the added stress brought on by a bunch of junkies with fragile egos.

Ontop of that, no one wants to hire me for a job, no one. Not even groceries stores, I've been jobless since 2020. I just want to make money to move out of my mom's home, but that seems to not happen. I wish I could move to New Zealand, I am a Graphic Artist and will get a job there easy. Skateboading and metal is also big there and it's ok to be gay there, but I'm just to scared and broke to just migrate to another country. If I had family there I would go.
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#2
RE: At 33 years of age, I am being bullied and tired of it.
Firstly I can relate a little.

I'm quite short, my dad was average height 6'1 but my mother is only 4'9. I got her height. (5'6)

I was bullied in highschool during my first weeks of getting there. Another kid slammed my head into the concrete wall, on which I still have a scar.

I got called horrible names as well and wore black to disappear entirely. Eventually I met my life long friend and got great advice. "Keep going to spite them".

This world can be absolute shit and I've been down the path of hopelessness before. I won't patronize you by saying "it'll be alright" because I heard that too and thought " yeah fuckin right".

I will say this, today may not be great but tomorrow could be. I keep myself oig by focusing on the things that bring me happiness. Sometimes it's not much some days I struggle to think of a good thing in my life.

I hope you can find that one thing and I'm glad you posted today to talk about it .That shit will eat you up.

I hope you got something useful out of my post, I can not I can offer doughnuts.

Stay well new friend.
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming"  -The Prophet Boiardi-

      Conservative trigger warning.
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#3
RE: At 33 years of age, I am being bullied and tired of it.
@Nay_Sayer Thanks for the reply. And yeah I know taking it on will only give them power. I use to be good at ignoring people when I was in my 20s. I guess after being bullied in school and being abused home for years I just had enough. When I was a teenager I would talk about it, but then I stopped becuase talking really didn't solve anything and people really don't care to hear or help you. You have a good friend, I do see the little good that I have, my mom, my dogs, a place to eat and sleep but sometimes it's not enough.
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#4
RE: At 33 years of age, I am being bullied and tired of it.
(May 27, 2023 at 10:59 pm)AkiraTheViking Wrote: @Nay_Sayer  Thanks for the reply. And yeah I know taking it on will only give them power. I use to be good at ignoring people when I was in my 20s. I guess after being bullied in school and being abused home for years I just had enough. When I was a teenager I would talk about it, but then I stopped becuase talking really didn't solve anything and people really don't care to hear or help you. You have a good friend, I do see the little good that I have, my mom, my dogs, a place to eat and sleep but sometimes it's not enough.

This sentence really hits home for me.  So often I find myself internalizing all the shit that goes through my head.

You made the right move letting some of that out here. One option you could try is making a blog, and yeah it's likely it might never get any views but just typing everything out can be very cathartic.   I used to have a burner Twitter account where I would just vent.

What kind of dogs do you have?, I have a Labradoodle.  Have you posted them in the pets thread?
"For the only way to eternal glory is a life lived in service of our Lord, FSM; Verily it is FSM who is the perfect being the name higher than all names, king of all kings and will bestow upon us all, one day, The great reclaiming"  -The Prophet Boiardi-

      Conservative trigger warning.
[Image: s-l640.jpg]
                                                                                         
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#5
RE: At 33 years of age, I am being bullied and tired of it.
Don't worry about New Zealand yet, just concentrate on getting out of that neighborhood, it sounds really bad, like if if you moved to a random location it would almost certainly be better. Watch out for yourself.
I'm not anti-Christian. I'm anti-stupid.
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#6
RE: At 33 years of age, I am being bullied and tired of it.
Being bullied makes you feel helpless and that's a sucky way to feel. There was some bullying and abuse at home but none in my early years with neighborhood kids or at school...in fact I have great memories through fifth grade. The summer that I turned 11 we moved to my dad's hometown. Recently someone called the town 'wretched' and I can't think of a better word to describe it.

It was a small town, about 3K people, and everyone knew everyone if they weren't also related. The friend groups had been established since they were tots. I was also behind on my Catholic education which was an issue because everyone had been in Catholic school since 1st grade. I just didn't fit and would never fit. Some of the bullying was minor and some so bad as to have nearly been run down by some older girls with the car they were in. It was a beatdown every damn day.

My mother was no help because I didn't fit her mold either. Dad's fix for things was if someone messed with you, just punch 'em in the nose. Well, I was tiny and fist fighting wasn't really a great option for me. I was told that the boy who chased me home on his bike and ran into the backs of my legs did it because he liked me. Great - an 11 year old abusive relationship. That set me up for some major failures.

I left that town in my early 20s. It's not easy, I know that but it's what I needed to do. Get away from those people. There are a couple I stay in loose contact with but mostly I left that town as far behind me as I could.

As I have moved around the country the people I allow into my life have been few. I don't trust easily. I found ways to entertain myself and have become a pretty content introvert.

I hope you are able to see your way out of your situation.
  
“If you are the smartest person in the room, then you are in the wrong room.” — Confucius
                                      
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#7
RE: At 33 years of age, I am being bullied and tired of it.
(June 2, 2023 at 11:32 am)Mister Agenda Wrote: Don't worry about New Zealand yet, just concentrate on getting out of that neighborhood, it sounds really bad, like if if you moved to a random location it would almost certainly be better. Watch out for yourself.

I agree, sounds like time for a geographic fix. You may have to take a job that you don't like at first but it sounds better that your current situation.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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#8
RE: At 33 years of age, I am being bullied and tired of it.
(June 2, 2023 at 9:08 am)Nay_Sayer Wrote: This sentence really hits home for me.  So often I find myself internalizing all the shit that goes through my head.

Yeah, it's extremely taxing to always have to go through mind loops to just be "normal"

(June 2, 2023 at 9:08 am)Nay_Sayer Wrote: You made the right move letting some of that out here. One option you could try is making a blog, and yeah it's likely it might never get any views but just typing everything out can be very cathartic.   I used to have a burner Twitter account where I would just vent.

I am trying to rebrand my tumblr as an art portfolio. They often let you have more than one connected to one account so I could start another.

(June 2, 2023 at 9:08 am)Nay_Sayer Wrote: What kind of dogs do you have?, I have a Labradoodle.  Have you posted them in the pets thread?

Aww Labradoodles are cute fuzzballs.

I have 2 the oldest will be 11 this year, his name is Rocky and he is a Rottweiler/Pothound mix and the other is 5, his name is Zeus and he is a German Shepard/Pitbull mix. No I havent post pics of them on here as yet, I don't think.

(June 2, 2023 at 6:25 pm)brewer Wrote:
(June 2, 2023 at 11:32 am)Mister Agenda Wrote: Don't worry about New Zealand yet, just concentrate on getting out of that neighborhood, it sounds really bad, like if if you moved to a random location it would almost certainly be better. Watch out for yourself.

I agree, sounds like time for a geographic fix. You may have to take a job that you don't like at first but it sounds better that your current situation.

Been trying hard to do so. I don't even care if I get little free time, so long as I get a job. But unfortunately I rarely get called for interviews and even then so I rarely get callbacks. And I have 5 passes including Maths and English and a Degree in graphic arts. I'm applying to all jobs including groceries and food joints.
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#9
RE: At 33 years of age, I am being bullied and tired of it.
(June 2, 2023 at 10:54 pm)AkiraTheViking Wrote:
(June 2, 2023 at 9:08 am)Nay_Sayer Wrote: This sentence really hits home for me.  So often I find myself internalizing all the shit that goes through my head.

Yeah, it's extremely taxing to always have to go through mind loops to just be "normal"

(June 2, 2023 at 9:08 am)Nay_Sayer Wrote: You made the right move letting some of that out here. One option you could try is making a blog, and yeah it's likely it might never get any views but just typing everything out can be very cathartic.   I used to have a burner Twitter account where I would just vent.

I am trying to rebrand my tumblr as an art portfolio. They often let you have more than one connected to one account so I could start another.

(June 2, 2023 at 9:08 am)Nay_Sayer Wrote: What kind of dogs do you have?, I have a Labradoodle.  Have you posted them in the pets thread?

Aww Labradoodles are cute fuzzballs.

I have 2 the oldest will be 11 this year, his name is Rocky and he is a Rottweiler/Pothound mix and the other is 5, his name is Zeus and he is a German Shepard/Pitbull mix. No I havent post pics of them on here as yet, I don't think.

(June 2, 2023 at 6:25 pm)brewer Wrote: I agree, sounds like time for a geographic fix. You may have to take a job that you don't like at first but it sounds better that your current situation.

Been trying hard to do so. I don't even care if I get little free time, so long as I get a job. But unfortunately I rarely get called for interviews and even then so I rarely get callbacks. And I have 5 passes including Maths and English and a Degree in graphic arts. I'm applying to all jobs including groceries and food joints.

Keep applying, especially where you want to live and there are jobs that might enjoy you. I delivered pizzas for a while before I got my auditor job. I'm not sure groceries and food jobs will satisfy you but it may be a link to better opportunities.
I don't have an anger problem, I have an idiot problem.
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#10
RE: At 33 years of age, I am being bullied and tired of it.
(June 2, 2023 at 11:32 am)Mister Agenda Wrote: Don't worry about New Zealand yet, just concentrate on getting out of that neighborhood, it sounds really bad, like if if you moved to a random location it would almost certainly be better. Watch out for yourself.

I was about to say exactly this, everything about your area sounds great if you're an addict in some way but pretty bad for a normal person.  Drug dealer lives just opposite, bar down the street selling alcohol, junkies everywhere. 

I used to live around a lot of addicts but somehow managed to avoid any interactions with them. They would break in and rob old, vulnerable people's houses all up and down my street but we didn't get targeted. 

I'm really curious what area you live in.  It sounds like it should be on one of those "worst hoods in the world" videos on youtube.  I've been to some bad areas before but casual threats of kidnapping isn't something I've ever got.


Are you ready for the fire? We are firemen. WE ARE FIREMEN! The heat doesn’t bother us. We live in the heat. We train in the heat. It tells us that we’re ready, we’re at home, we’re where we’re supposed to be. Flames don’t intimidate us. What do we do? We control the flame. We control them. We move the flames where we want to. And then we extinguish them.

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