Black Pill Dating Theory?

[Angrboda]

From my limited exposure to BP ideas, it seems that once you strip away the self-pity and misogynic rhetoric, what you're left with is the idea that physically attractive people have a much easier time dating than physically unattractive people, and that beautiful people will be treated better in various ways than ugly people.

To me, that seems just a blindingly obvious truth.  And yet I see many people argue against it saying that physical appearance doesn't matter, which to be seems an obvious lie.

Is it as simple as it appears to me?

No, as there's a kind of overton window there. As there are more people who would date someone who is highly attractive, the number of people that a specific attractive person is likely to date is only a small slice of those who would date them. In general people are likely to date people of similar attractiveness and unlikely to date people of dissimilar attractiveness. That keeps the dating window pretty much constant.

As to whether beautiful people will be treated better, so will rich people, or smart people, or charismatic people -- any valued trait is going to attract favor. And so?

[Foxaèr]

It's the aesthetic version of white privilege.

[Ahriman]

From my limited exposure to BP ideas, it seems that once you strip away the self-pity and misogynic rhetoric, what you're left with is the idea that physically attractive people have a much easier time dating than physically unattractive people, and that beautiful people will be treated better in various ways than ugly people.

To me, that seems just a blindingly obvious truth.  And yet I see many people argue against it saying that physical appearance doesn't matter, which to be seems an obvious lie.

Is it as simple as it appears to me?

No, as there's a kind of overton window there.  As there are more people who would date someone who is highly attractive, the number of people that a specific attractive person is likely to date is only a small slice of those who would date them.   In general people are likely to date people of similar attractiveness and unlikely to date people of dissimilar attractiveness.  That keeps the dating window pretty much constant.

As to whether beautiful people will be treated better, so will rich people, or smart people, or charismatic people -- any valued trait is going to attract favor.  And so?

I get treated like a king in real life because people think I'm smart.

[Mister Agenda]

I'm an ugly fat fuck and I never get laid at all, haven't had sex in years.

I'm a short fat fuck in my sixties and have sex available on request, sometimes have to turn it down. It would have been nice to have that in my twenties, but it took me thirty years to develop passable game.

[FrustratedFool]

The Overton window idea is interesting, and certainly seems to match observation and common sense. Within BP circles the idea that people form relationships with people roughly of the same level of physical attractiveness is, I think, called a looksmatch.

But it doesn't really affect the truth or simplicity of the main BP idea. It doesn't refute the simple idea that looks are a primary, perhaps the primary, factor in dating. Indeed, it seems to support that idea by noting that an 8 will date another 8, whereas a 4 never will. Looks being the key determine there.

Also, it says nothing about how comparatively easy finding a partner was for the 8 than the 4. An 8 may end up dating 8s (or 7-9s) but they may do so easily, where the 4 who ends up with other 4s may find dates frw and far between and requiring more effort. Dating apps seem to indicate this: an 8 gets a 100 matches, a 4 gets 1. It might very well still be true to say then, that looks massively impact how much one struggles with dating.

And it doesn't address the idea of casual ssxual encounters or hook-ups. Surely the wi Dow for that activity is much wider. An 8 will have a one night stand with any 5+, a huge pool, whereas maybe hardly anyone will hook-up with a 2, even other 2s, a tiny pool.

Gender, age and sexuality become other complicating factors: a young bisexual woman has massively more dating options than an old heterosexual man. Maybe another interesting side issue to dicuss?

So, in short, I think the BP stripped of rhetoric and emotion, is still pretty simple: looks affect dating more than anything else; if you're good looking you'll find it easy to date attractive people, if you're average it'll be harder and you'll likely settle for a looksmatch, and if you're truly ugly then you may never date at all.

The so? Question is, at its most basic, that the BP position is broadly true when stripped of its hyperbole.

In a more complex way, it's the question of what should society fo knowing about lookism and the halo effect, and knowing that there's many young people who are suffering, lonely, embittered and angry, whipping each other up with inflammatory rhetoric, because they're ugly because of bad genetic luck.

[Angrboda]

The Overton window idea is interesting, and certainly seems to match observation and common sense.  Within BP circles the idea that people form relationships with people roughly of the same level of physical attractiveness is, I think, called a looksmatch.

But it doesn't really affect the truth or simplicity of the main BP idea.  It doesn't refute the simple idea that looks are a primary, perhaps the primary, factor in dating.  Indeed, it seems to support that idea by noting that an 8 will date another 8, whereas a 4 never will.  Looks being the key determine there.

Also, it says nothing about how comparatively easy finding a partner was for the 8 than the 4.  An 8 may end up dating 8s (or 7-9s) but they may do so easily, where the 4 who ends up with other 4s may find dates  frw and far between and requiring more effort.  Dating apps seem to indicate this: an 8 gets a 100 matches, a 4 gets 1.  It might very well still be true to say then, that looks massively impact how much one struggles with dating.

And it doesn't address the idea of casual ssxual encounters or hook-ups.  Surely the wi Dow for that activity is much wider.  An 8 will have a one night stand with any 5+, a huge pool, whereas maybe hardly anyone will hook-up with a 2, even other 2s, a tiny pool.

Gender,  age and sexuality become other complicating factors: a young bisexual woman has massively more dating options than an old heterosexual man.  Maybe another interesting side issue to dicuss?

So, in short, I think the BP stripped of rhetoric and emotion, is still pretty simple: looks affect dating more than anything else; if you're good looking you'll find it easy to date attractive people, if you're average it'll be harder and you'll likely settle for a looksmatch, and if you're truly ugly then you may never date at all.

The so? Question is, at its most basic, that the BP position is broadly true when stripped of its hyperbole.  

In a more complex way, it's the question of what should society fo knowing about lookism and the halo effect, and knowing that there's many young people who are suffering, lonely, embittered and angry, whipping each other up with inflammatory rhetoric, because they're ugly because of bad genetic luck.

Actually, the opposite likely holds true. People who are highly attractive / unattractive are at the extremes and assuming looks are distributed on a bell curve, there will be fewer people to looksmatch at the extremes than at the middle.

[FrustratedFool]

But extremely good looking people will not only be able to date other 10s, but also all numbers below. And they will find that easy. So a 10 can date all 10s, 9s, 8s, 7s etc. A 1 can date ... 1s.

[Angrboda]

But extremely good looking people will not only be able to date other 10s, but also all numbers below.  And they will find that easy.  So a 10 can date all 10s, 9s, 8s, 7s etc.  A 1 can date ... 1s.

I think you've missed the initial point of the window.

[FrustratedFool]

Doesn't the window represent where most people settle in the end? Say two or three removes from themselves?

So a 10 will date casually from a huge pool of 9s-1s,and then end up with someone from the fair sized pool of 10s-7s. And find it easy to do all that.

A 1 will date from the miniscule pool of 1s who accept 1s, and have a hard time doing that.

[Ahriman]

I have a friend whose girlfriend is a 5 but she has huge tits and nice hair, I wouldn't mind dating her myself.