Dating Advice

[FrustratedFool]

To get a boyfriend don't you need to be dateable?

Also, what's up with your parents and stuff? Why is that a thing?

[WinterHold]

Since I never been on a date before, I can pretty much talk about my imagined scenario.

Don't be anybody but yourself.
Set goals for what you want to get out of the date and don't fool yourself.

If you wanted to get married, make sure you study the girl probably and provide her with everything she needs. Study her, because if you might be giving her flowers, while she wants thorns.
You might be giving her drama, while she wants peace.

Know yourself, and know the girl you chose.
Otherwise, you might spend years, even decades, not knowing why you lost her, and why you can't get over her.

Watch out from the loop. Because she might be a loop. She might be an NPD fella, and you are her victim.
Never ever be too good. Ever. Love yourself before you love somebody else.

And that's it : ).

[Ahriman]

To get a boyfriend don't you need to be dateable?

Also, what's up with your parents and stuff?  Why is that a thing?

I do gay stuff but I am not actually GAY gay, just sexually gay, and still willing to get with girls. I haven't had the courage to ask any of my male friends what they thought of potentially being in a relationship with me. I'm kind of a loser and I know it. My parents' opinion shouldn't matter but it does, I know they wouldn't like me doing gay stuff AT ALL and if they found out I had been having gay sex I would be mortified.

[FrustratedFool]

OK.

To get a boyfriend don't you need to be dateable?

As for your parents, you need to sort that out. How old are you?

[Ahriman]

OK.

To get a boyfriend don't you need to be dateable?

As for your parents, you need to sort that out.  How old are you?

I'm 29 and I've only had one girlfriend my whole life.

[FrustratedFool]

At 29 you probably shouldn't need to worry too much about your parent's opinions of you.

Only having 1 GF before 30 isn't all that unusual. Me too by that age. And many have 0.

But if you want a BF, then you must become dateable.

And if you become dateable, then you could date women as well as men, if you wanted.

I suggest that you might lead a happier life becoming dateable.

Or find an alternative mode of living and loving.

[Belacqua]

I believe in the maxim "an interested person is an interesting person." 

So that means two things: 

1) show passion for something beyond oneself, that one can talk about. Some field of music, local history, restoring old houses -- something that shows you're not completely self-centered and take an interest in life. Plus you can grow friendships that can turn into dating. (Probably this wouldn't include an obsession with hentai porn or some other creepy thing.) 

2) Show genuine interest in the person sitting opposite you. Ask questions and listen to the answers. 

The least datable person is probably the one who says "I'm bored and boring, I need a partner to save me."

Some people don't have anything else to work with. All of my relationships have been made out of the other person pitying me. I don't know how else to attract people.

Well, the gist of what I wanted to say is that it makes sense to focus on something other than your own (allegedly) pitiable nature. Like if you're active in the local birdwatchers' club (or whatever) then you're talking with people about birds all the time. The focus is not all on your personality. Eventually affinities with other people emerge. 

Granted, I was dating before apps and gym culture and those things made it more difficult. In my day, you went places and hung out with people, and eventually you started hanging out with one of the people more than all the others. 

Reading this thread is pretty horrifying to me. It sounds as if each and every date is conducted as a Trial to Judgment, with people giving each other the thumbs up or thumbs down after. No wonder people find it intimidating. I'm sure I would have failed at that.

[Ahriman]

There are so many variables involved in going on a date with someone you don't know, so many ways it can go wrong, I'm honestly not sure how anyone ever has the guts to go on that kind of date.

[Ahriman]

When it comes right down to it, people are just stupid anyway. They can't hang with my superior perspective on things, it makes them uncomfortable. They are basic, unenlightened creatures who will not appreciate me for who I am. Sex with them is fine. I'm not sure they could reasonably fulfill any other need.

[Angrboda]

Gee, I can't imagine why you're not liked.