My wife is Christian... i'm not sure what I am.

[Kaptinjoo]

My fiance's initial reaction was that since I didn't have some god telling me how to live that I'd turn into some evil baby-eating rapist and run around cheating on her and all this stuff. For a good while she was totally convinced that the only reason people have any sort of ethical code was because of the Bible. I told her (and meant it) a lot of the things that KichigaiNeko mentioned and it made her feel a lot better about it all. It took a while to get it through, but if you convince her that you are still the same person and your love for your lady goes a lot deeper than the belief in some fairy tale, it'll mean a lot. IMO having a bond with someone and being true to them without some diety forcing you to is a lot more honorable than only staying loyal to your spouse because you don't want to burn in hell.

[KichigaiNeko]

What the Kaptin said!!

[Doubting Thomas]

Yes, my wife reacted the same way, thinking that since I didn't believe in God any more that I was going to be an evil, immoral person who would cheat on her. Of course, by being the same person I was I showed her that that was not the case.

But the very important thing is that you need to tell her exactly how you feel about religion. Try to be as gentle as possible and don't make it about her. Tell her that you're still the same person she fell in love with, you just aren't convinced that the stories in the bible are true. Maybe before you use the word "atheist" which unfairly has a totally negative connotation with most Christians, you might say that you have agnostic views, which most Christians tend to think means you just aren't sure. At any rate it's a softer letdown than telling her that you think all religion is bullshit.

[Violet]

It really hit me the other day when my wife and I got in our car after church and she started to cry. She asked me "Why don't you pray with me?"

Forgive me... but seriously: Crying over that?!

Just how early did you two get married? 0.o

[IDKWTB]

Thank you all for the responses.

Our one year anniversary is this weekend. Maybe I should wait until next week to bring it up.

[Kaptinjoo]

Definitely should wait until after the anniversary. And make it dang good one!

[fr0d0]

I met my wife as a Christian, and lost my faith about 5 years after we were married. The only problem to our relationship was my intense hatred of our old church, which manifested itself in me ranting about it at any opportunity. This had been festering before my de-conversion. My wife carried on loving me and making exceptions for my behaviour. I carried on loving her. We were both from non Christian backgrounds.

I just think you need to be honest. You with her and her with you. Honesty with each other is of utmost importance. That trust mustn't be taken lightly. If you lie to her about this, something so important to you, then your partnership isn't worth much. If she can't accept that a person can change, and respect your opinions and beliefs, then her partnership with you isn't worth much either.

[Minimalist]

Bravo, Frods.

[IDKWTB]

Frod? Tell me more, Minimalist.

[Minimalist]

I don't know....I just started calling him Frods. Probably because I hated that fucking book.

And just call me "Min." Min was an egyptian god of something or other....

Min, Bull of the Great Phallus,
...
You are the Great Male, the owner of all females.
The Bull who is unites with those of the sweet love, of beautiful face and of painted eyes,
Victorious sovereign among the Gods who inspires fear in the Ennead.
...
The goddesses are glad, seeing your perfection.

-- Hymn to Min

Really...it looks like it was a great job.