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Told Bro-in-law to tell Gov. Perry to quit praying for rain.
September 5, 2011 at 6:14 pm
My brother-in-law lives in Freeport, Texas, an area that has been gripped by a severe drought.
The intrepid Governor of Texas, Richard (Dick) Perry, has been making a spate of public exhortations for God to bring rain to his drought-stricken state, showing how "holy" he is on the national media circuit. (Of course, it doesn't occur to the Dick why God has struck Texas with a drought in the first place, if he has that power.)
This is the letter I sent him, recommending he and other Texans tell the Dick to shut up.
Hey Mike,
Tell your governor if he wants to break the drought in Texas, tell him to quit testing his god by praying for rain.
He prayed for rain, and Tropical Storm Don veered at the last minute, going into northern Mexico to relive their drought.
He did it more, and Hurricane Irene ploughed into North Carolina, right into an area that has had a bad a drought as Texas. North Carolina suffered severe damage, but the drought is over.
He did it yet more, and Tropical Storm Lee went into Louisiana. At one time the storm even turned southeast, basically making a circle around all of Louisiana to ensure they got rain and relieved their drought.
Now there is a new Cape Verde system the Weather Service predicts will be organised into a Tropical Cyclone within forty-eight hours. It has several days to track across the Atlantic, currently located between 25-35 deg W and 3-13 deg N.
Don’t let him foul this up for you; write a letter to the paper telling him to get off his God pulpit and shut up. If Dick believes God has the power to relieve the drought, quit bugging God and let him do it rather than wasting God's time listening to the Dick.
(We Discordians don't pray much; prayer is extremely dangerous. A prayer might get answered, and then we'd have to pay the price.)
James.
"Be ye not lost amongst Precept of Order." - Book of Uterus, 1:5, "Principia Discordia, or How I Found Goddess and What I Did to Her When I Found Her."
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RE: Told Bro-in-law to tell Gov. Perry to quit praying for rain.
September 5, 2011 at 6:22 pm
Maybe this is god's way of telling Perry to go fuck himself and his whole state?
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RE: Told Bro-in-law to tell Gov. Perry to quit praying for rain.
September 5, 2011 at 6:28 pm
They told Honi to stop pestering god too, but did he listen?
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Told Bro-in-law to tell Gov. Perry to quit praying for rain.
September 5, 2011 at 6:48 pm
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RE: Told Bro-in-law to tell Gov. Perry to quit praying for rain.
September 9, 2011 at 2:22 pm
(September 5, 2011 at 6:22 pm)Minimalist Wrote: Maybe this is god's way of telling Perry to go fuck himself and his whole state?
My roommate who's from Texas said, "You know, Gov. Perry prayed for rain and Austin burst into flames. Texas hasn't had a wildfire in 25 years. If those people believe that Perry could ask God to send rain, they gotta believe that the fire is his answer."
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RE: Told Bro-in-law to tell Gov. Perry to quit praying for rain.
September 9, 2011 at 2:28 pm
(This post was last modified: September 9, 2011 at 2:29 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
It's been the contention of a great many atheists, that if god did exist, the best possible thing that could happen for the cause is that certain christians started keeping their mouths closed.
Rick Perry probably belongs to this group of christians.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Told Bro-in-law to tell Gov. Perry to quit praying for rain.
September 9, 2011 at 2:43 pm
(September 9, 2011 at 2:28 pm)Rhythm Wrote: It's been the contention of a great many atheists, that if god did exist, the best possible thing that could happen for the cause is that certain christians started keeping their mouths closed.
Rick Perry probably belongs to this group of christians.
This is actually a true statistic: You are more likely to be executed by Rick Perry than you are to die in a plane crash.
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RE: Told Bro-in-law to tell Gov. Perry to quit praying for rain.
September 9, 2011 at 2:52 pm
Hmm....
![[Image: two_atl.gif]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=www.nhc.noaa.gov%2Fgtwo%2Ftwo_atl.gif)
Let' see.....
"Lee," now gone, hit Louisiana missing Texas to the East.
"Nate" is heading due west towards Mexico and will miss Texas to the south.
Meanwhile Texas continues to burn.......
Take the hint, Rick.
![[Image: fuck-you-jesus.jpg]](https://images.weserv.nl/?url=infernalfairground.files.wordpress.com%2F2011%2F03%2Ffuck-you-jesus.jpg)
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RE: Told Bro-in-law to tell Gov. Perry to quit praying for rain.
September 9, 2011 at 3:01 pm
(This post was last modified: September 9, 2011 at 3:02 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
(September 9, 2011 at 2:43 pm)coffeeveritas Wrote: This is actually a true statistic: You are more likely to be executed by Rick Perry than you are to die in a plane crash.
Regardless of your innocence or guilt I might add. Apparently the only justification he needs is "He was a wife beater".
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
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RE: Told Bro-in-law to tell Gov. Perry to quit praying for rain.
September 9, 2011 at 3:55 pm
(This post was last modified: September 9, 2011 at 3:59 pm by Anomalocaris.)
Quote:My roommate who's from Texas said, "You know, Gov. Perry prayed for rain and Austin burst into flames. Texas hasn't had a wildfire in 25 years. If those people believe that Perry could ask God to send rain, they gotta believe that the fire is his answer."
Quote:This is actually a true statistic: You are more likely to be executed by Rick Perry than you are to die in a plane crash.
So if you are a Texan, your chance of dying in a drought induced wild fire is literally infinite times greater after Risk Perry praying to the Christain god for rain. I guess the vulcan the god of fire was not pleased.
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