And really bad puns ...

[Rayaan]

This thread is incredibly punny!

You're lion.

[Thor]

A string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender bellows, "We don't allow strings in this place! Get out!" The string then goes outside, twists himself into a pretzel and gently pulls apart the strands at the top of his head. The string then heads back into the bar. As the string plops himself onto a stool, the bartender looks at him suspiciously and says, "You're not a string, are you?"

The string replies, "No, I'm a frayed knot."

[Rayaan]

[Rayaan]

[Thor]

A child is born and there is nothing but a head. The child grows up and his entire life he wishes he had a body to go with his head. On his 21st birthday a fairy godmother appears and announces that she is there to grant one wish! Anything at all!

"Oh, please", the now young man cries, "I want a body! I'm sick of just having a head! I want a body so I can run and dance and experience things like a normal person!"

The fairy godmother waves her wand and POOF! he has a body!

The young man is thrilled! He jumps up and runs out in the street screaming, "I have a body! I have a body!"

He is then immediately flattened and killed by a bus.

The moral to the story is, of course, quit while you're a head.

[Minimalist]

Rayaan, you are the only muslim I've ever run across that has a sense of humor.

I wish there were more like you.

[Cato]

The War of American Independence was the most unsanitary war in human history. When it concluded, all exclaimed urination.

[Thor]

A man goes to the dentist because he's having problems with his dentures. The dentist examines the dentures and discovers the plate is full of holes. He asks the man if he eats an excess amount of anything in particular. The man tells the dentist that his wife makes this delicious hollandaise sauce. He says that it's so good he puts it on practically everything. Just about every meal he's eating this hollandaise sauce!

The dentists says, "I see the problem here. We're going to have to get you a new plate and it needs to be made out of chrome."

The man looks at the dentist and says, "I've never heard of a dental plate being made out of chrome. Why does it need to be chrome?"

The dentist replies, "Because there's no plate like chrome for the hollendaise!"

[Rayaan]

And this ...




is a Chemistree!

[pocaracas]

This one is a bit better: