Posts: 12586
Threads: 397
Joined: September 17, 2010
Reputation:
96
RE: Worst (or Best) Pick Up Lines
September 21, 2011 at 2:53 pm
My roommate has two younger brothers, Justin and Josh. Justin, the elder, has quite the reputation as a ladies man. Josh is more of the silent geeky type.
One night though, Justin brought Josh to our house for a round of drinking. Justin suddenly starts to tell us about a party the two had attended two nights before.
"Dude...you don't understand. My brother is the shit. I'm working all night on this girl, talkin' to her, makin' her drinks, and I'm gettin' nowhere. All of a sudden I look over at Josh and he's sittin' on the couch with his arms up on the back with THREE girls on either side!! And he's totally wasted at this point, so I'm about to give him shit, when he just looks over at the girl on his left and says (and you have to imagine a hilarious drunk slur in a NC accent) 'Heeey...My dick is longer than two football fields plus two yards...Brett Favre can't throw that shit!'"
Josh didn't remember a damn thing, but apparently it got him laid.
Posts: 67288
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
162
RE: Worst (or Best) Pick Up Lines
September 21, 2011 at 3:20 pm
(This post was last modified: September 21, 2011 at 3:21 pm by The Grand Nudger.)
Josh knows how to pick 'em.
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 312
Threads: 18
Joined: May 30, 2011
Reputation:
12
RE: Worst (or Best) Pick Up Lines
September 21, 2011 at 3:27 pm
Only pick up line that ever works for me: Get your coat, you've pulled.
"Great spirits have often encountered violent opposition from weak minds."
Einstein
When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down happy. They told me I didn't understand the assignment. I told them they didn't understand life.
- John Lennon
Posts: 2241
Threads: 94
Joined: December 4, 2008
Reputation:
24
RE: Worst (or Best) Pick Up Lines
September 21, 2011 at 6:04 pm
(September 21, 2011 at 3:27 pm)BloodyHeretic Wrote: Only pick up line that ever works for me: Get your coat, you've pulled.
Pulled?
You so ugly, on holloween trick or treaters give you candy!
You so ugly, when you go to the bank, they ask you to put on a ski-mask.
I used to tell a lot of religious jokes. Not any more, I'm a registered sects offender.
---------------
...the least christian thing a person can do is to become a christian. ~Chuck
---------------
NO MA'AM
Posts: 12586
Threads: 397
Joined: September 17, 2010
Reputation:
96
RE: Worst (or Best) Pick Up Lines
September 21, 2011 at 6:48 pm
Heretic, I love your sig. Did Cin do that? I could seriously worship him.
Posts: 7388
Threads: 168
Joined: February 25, 2009
Reputation:
45
RE: Worst (or Best) Pick Up Lines
September 21, 2011 at 7:29 pm
Quote:thesummerqueen Wrote: Unfortunately, I can't weigh in on any I've heard or had put on me because no one's tried to pick me up.
Pick you up? Would you settle for being led by the hand? These days I doubt I could lift you. (lest I put my foot down my throat or you shove yours up my arse; my lifting limit is about 20 pounds due to the osteoporosis)
Posts: 7031
Threads: 250
Joined: March 4, 2011
Reputation:
78
RE: Worst (or Best) Pick Up Lines
September 21, 2011 at 10:27 pm
I never used pick up lines ... not even once. I never saw the need for them. In fact, the best game I ever had was one word ...
I would stand near the bar chatting with a friend listening to the pick up lines that guys would use. Most of them would crash and burn and that's when I would wait for her to notice me, look at the guy walking away, roll my eyes and mouth the word, "wow".
We'd both share a little giggle about his lame attempt and then I'd introduce myself.
Truth is, I never used pick up lines because I was always busy letting the other guys use them.
Men are mostly stupid though. Just be real. All anyone wants in this life is a little respect ... man or woman.
Posts: 67288
Threads: 140
Joined: June 28, 2011
Reputation:
162
RE: Worst (or Best) Pick Up Lines
September 29, 2011 at 5:41 pm
"I've got a 4 leaf clover tattooed on the end of my sheleighly. Wanna get lucky?"
I am the Infantry. I am my country’s strength in war, her deterrent in peace. I am the heart of the fight… wherever, whenever. I carry America’s faith and honor against her enemies. I am the Queen of Battle. I am what my country expects me to be, the best trained Soldier in the world. In the race for victory, I am swift, determined, and courageous, armed with a fierce will to win. Never will I fail my country’s trust. Always I fight on…through the foe, to the objective, to triumph overall. If necessary, I will fight to my death. By my steadfast courage, I have won more than 200 years of freedom. I yield not to weakness, to hunger, to cowardice, to fatigue, to superior odds, For I am mentally tough, physically strong, and morally straight. I forsake not, my country, my mission, my comrades, my sacred duty. I am relentless. I am always there, now and forever. I AM THE INFANTRY! FOLLOW ME!
Posts: 487
Threads: 3
Joined: September 28, 2011
Reputation:
16
RE: Worst (or Best) Pick Up Lines
September 29, 2011 at 7:27 pm
"You're vegan? I bet there's one kind of meat you like."
"I like your glasses. You must be really smart." (yeah, or something...)
"So you're an artist? You must like kinky stuff, then." (what?)
Posts: 1127
Threads: 20
Joined: May 11, 2011
Reputation:
14
RE: Worst (or Best) Pick Up Lines
September 30, 2011 at 6:22 am
G'day love, you interested in a 'stralian kiss?
An Australian kiss? Whatever do you mean?
Well Sheila, It's just loike a french kiss, only down under.
|