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RE: I'm a witness that Jesus lives!
June 4, 2012 at 10:14 pm
(This post was last modified: June 4, 2012 at 10:15 pm by Reforged.)
(June 4, 2012 at 10:10 pm)...above us only sky Wrote: "Dear Penthouse Forum..."
No, anyway, uh no you did not get lifted, except for in a dream. This sounds like one of those cases where what you were last reading informed your dreaming. S'alright, happens to a lot of us. Mistaking it for reality is the problematic part...
What? Dude, I never dreamt Jesus slipped me a sneaky one with a vibrator. What the fuck have you been reading before going to bed?
"The Bible: S&M edition"?
"That is not dead which can eternal lie and with strange aeons even death may die."
- Abdul Alhazred.
Posts: 3160
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RE: I'm a witness that Jesus lives!
June 5, 2012 at 8:59 am
(This post was last modified: June 5, 2012 at 8:59 am by Reforged.)
(June 4, 2012 at 11:52 pm)whateverist Wrote: (March 28, 2009 at 7:09 pm)domnavarra Wrote: First weekend in december 2008, I laid down to sleep. All of a sudden I was sitting on the edge of the bed, reading a book about Jesus and his father about how they have triumphed against evil throughout time. Then from behind me came the voice of Jesus, he said "hurry up and finish reading my book"! I was astounded and turned around to look over my shoulder...immediately he grabbed me from behind, underneath my armpits and lifted me clear off the bed! My whole body was vibrating from his touch. Then I woke up and to my surprise my entire body was still vibrating. Immediately, I knelt at the side of my bed and asked "what should I do" he said "be masterful", again I asked what should I do? he said "be free" then I asked how can I feel like this all the time? He said "follow me".
Ahah! At last, solid evidence! Finally we have an eye witness to the glory of God. Now we can all return to the fold and put aside our god-hating ways. We are saved! Hallelujah!
Personally I wouldn't want to be taken from behind by Jesus. Maybe you didn't want it either. But what are you going to do, right? Your ass belongs to God, obviously. Way to take one for the team. By your sacrifice we all have the evidence we've so sorely needed.
Does that mean we all have to do this?
http://www.xfamily.org/index.php/Loving_Jesus
"That is not dead which can eternal lie and with strange aeons even death may die."
- Abdul Alhazred.
