Santa, The Tooth Fairy and the Fantabulous Fabularium of Innocent Myths

[ElDinero]

So was just talking to aleia about Santa, and whether or not it's a good thing for kids etc., and I wanted to get some thoughts on whether letting kids believe in stuff like Santa is any different to religion, if we should be teaching them to think critically about this kind of stuff, whether there is a risk of harm with such things and so on.

So to parents, I guess: What do your kids believe about these things, and what do you want them to believe about it?

To everyone else: Did the discovery that Santa wasn't real leave you with any feelings with mistrust towards your parents? Would you rather they had told you the truth? What do you think is the best way to approach these things?

For my part, I don't think they do much harm. I found out it wasn't real when I was maybe 8 or 9, and it never bothered me. The presents kept coming anyway, after all. If and when I have kids, I'll let them believe it, and when they find out the truth, as kids tend to do organically enough, I'll probably try to use it as a way to teach them about myths and how to distinguish them from fact.

Nor do I really believe that belief in this kind of thing is likely to result in kids being susceptible to things like religion. After all, I'm not religious, I only believe in things that are real, like bears, DNA and the Easter Bunny.

[frankiej]

I have never believed in Santa... I was the one to tell my older brother that he didn't exist

My parents tried to make me believe, but I never did... I have a gift for seeing through bullshit

[Justtristo]

I once believed in Santa as a little kid. However grew out of it by the time I was at least 10, if not earlier. I did not feel betrayed when I found out Santa Claus did not exist.

A question I would pose is whether or not lives have been destroyed by the propagation of these fairy tales as opposed to other fairy tales such as that of Jesus.

[thesummerqueen]

We had no chance to believe in Santa - all gifts most emphatically came from mum and dad. Actually, I would have believed that anyway - Chanukah gifts didn't get beyond the stereotypical "back-to-school" level until I was about 16 or so. Santa never gave shitty gifts like that.

All my life kids around me asked if I missed Christmas, but I had never celebrated it so... hrugs:

Good lesson: point out to your kids all the non-christian kids and see if they figure out why Santa doesn't visit THOSE houses. This is an excellent barometer for their natural critical thinking abilities.

[Justtristo]

We had no chance to believe in Santa - all gifts most emphatically came from mum and dad. Actually, I would have believed that anyway - Chanukah gifts didn't get beyond the stereotypical "back-to-school" level until I was about 16 or so. Santa never gave shitty gifts like that.

All my life kids around me asked if I missed Christmas, but I had never celebrated it so... hrugs:

Good lesson: point out to your kids all the non-christian kids and see if they figure out why Santa doesn't visit THOSE houses. This is an excellent barometer for their natural critical thinking abilities.

I know Evangelical Christians who don't tell their kids about Santa. Since they regard Santa Claus as demonic, the father of lies, etc. I am not making this up, seriously.

[frankiej]

I hear they call him the Red Baron...




Nah, I just made that one up

[Ace Otana]

So was just talking to aleia about Santa, and whether or not it's a good thing for kids etc., and I wanted to get some thoughts on whether letting kids believe in stuff like Santa is any different to religion, if we should be teaching them to think critically about this kind of stuff, whether there is a risk of harm with such things and so on.

Well I don't see any real harm. It's a fantasy but one to excite kids. It causes excitement and encourages imagination. Healthy in my opinion, of course when the age of reason kicks in, this is where they should be encouraged to think critically. For them to be deceived in the belief of Santa, it could provide a necessary wake up call when they reach a point in their life when things aren't so bright and wonderful as they perceive them to be, when that day comes that there is no Santa. That fantasies are not hard to spot and with critical thought, you'll see through them. To show them a fantasy world and then show them the real world, you could help them tell what's real and what's not.

I was once a fool, I believed in fantasies. But one day, reality came a knocking and I started to see what was real, the world as it is. For a while it was scary and wonderful. And it was for me, more impressive than any fantasy I ever believed in. Fantasies always have a happy ending, and there is always fairness and justice. Reality is hard, unfair but has far more in it. It is far more incredible. A child should see both sides I think. To see a fantasy world and the real thing. So they can better distinguish what is real and what is not. I believe there are benefits in fantasies for kids.

[Heather]

I was just having this discussion with a friend at dinner last night... too ironic. We both discussed how we feel a little bit guilty in the whole Santa Claus bit but, I think I would feel more guilty not letting my kids experience the fun of it. The look on their faces when they come downstairs on Christmas morning to see the unwrapped Santa gift and full stockings is just priceless and they are so excited.

I found out when I was 6 that he was not real. I had an older brother and stepbrother and they took me into my dad/stepmom's room, lifted the mattress, and showed me all of the pictures I had drawn and left out for Santa. I have to admit, that hurt. I was very upset. I actually said because of that, I wouldn't teach my kiddos about Santa but the peer pressure is too great. They have "Santa Share Day" at school so I think the disappointment from having no Santa experience would be greater than when they realize he doesn't exist.

[Erinome]

My son came to me asking a million and one santa questions. How do reindeer fly if they don't have wings? What are elves? How does he make it around the world in one night and deliver all those presents to all those kids? Perfectly logical questions.

I sat and thought about it for a bit. I concluded that there was no point to the santa myth. It's reminiscent of the god myth if you think about it. He sees you when you're sleeping, he knows when you're awake, he knows if you've been bad or good, so be good for goodness sake. Unlike the god myth, we all eventually learn that santa is just a story to make us behave on pain of coal in our stockings at Christmas. Fuck that. If my son is smart enough to ask reasonable questions about silly fairy tales, then he could certainly handle the truth. Also, thinking about it further, I reasoned that if I wanted my children to trust me and know that I would never lie to them, I wasn't going to earn that trust by lying to them for no reason.

So I sat the boy down and asked him what he thought were the answers to his many questions. He essentially figured it out himself, I just confirmed it. Then he told his sisters, who were like, okay- whatever. Now their dads are throwing fits about it. Saying I've stolen their childhoods away from them. Have I? They still love their fairy tales. They still watch Aladdin, pretend to be princesses, make spongebob episodes with their puppets. They don't care that they don't believe santa is a true story. The only ones broken up about it are the grown fucking men.

I just think it's a pointless lie. They have a keen understanding for what's real and what's not. My 5 year old daughter's favorite genre is horror. She's seen a hundred horror films from Fright Night to Hannibal Rising (which she said "could've been bloodier"), but she cautions other children that none of it's real and there is nothing to fear. She never has nightmares, but her older brother pissed himself watching Mirrors, and he refuses to watch them. It's not because he thinks it's real, it's because he prefers more lighthearted films.

I guess every child is different, and you just have to feel them out.

[Erinome]

LoL For Summer!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3gRGMOhslq0